Me and my boyfriend moved to america last yr, and got engaged, the wedding is next september.
A few yrs ago i fell out with my family over stupid stuff regarding my dad. we made up and are closer than ever, he still lives at home and we talk on the phone regularly, today i spoke to him about the wedding and he informed me that its just him, my step mom and my 2 brothers comingout for the wedding and none of my other family is coming, im so upset, my fiance has his whole family coming, maybe about 50 people and all i have is 4 coming from my family, and my bridal party,
Should i be upset that none of my relatives are coming out, im heart broken, this is supposed to be the happiest day of my life and i dont know if i will be happy because of my relatives. i dont know if i want to put off the wedding and go back home to get married or just have my wedding here and f*ck everyone else,
wat should i do...?
2007-05-31 04:07:20 · 17 answers · asked by TTC #1 With PCOS 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Exactly why do you think that your enitre family should spend hundreds of dollars to fly to your wedding? How old are you?
2007-05-31 04:11:44 · answer #1 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 5⤊ 2⤋
When you say you moved to America, may I assume this means that you've moved here from abroad (versus, say, Canada)?
If this is the case, then really it might be a bit of a drain on most people to be able to afford to travel to America for a wedding and you should be thankful that you've got ANY family coming whatsoever.
BTW, maybe not everyone has a travel Visa ...I don't, nor can I obtain one (for legal reasons beyond my control). So I would never be able to leave MY country.
I guess if you're concerned about seating in the church (assuming a church wedding), you could just offer open seating, with the front rows only being reserved for family members.
But otherwise, just be happy that your family WILL be there in whatever capacity and just have a happy day.
2007-05-31 11:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My Fiance is in the same situtation. I have over 100 family members coming to our wedding and he only has 4 relatives that will come.
What I told him thought is that we are getting married across the country from all of his family members and they may just not be able to make it due to finance reasons. Traveling is a big expense. You have to take time off, pay for flights, hotels and then a good portion of thier 'vaction' would be spent at a wedding. Not everyone sees that as good finances.
Just remember that there are good reasons for people not coming. I'm sure everyone would love to come if they could. Also, they will be with you in spirit wishing you and your fiance well!! I can understand being upset, but it is not the end of the world. You will still be able to share your day with them through the photos and/or videos taked that day.
2007-05-31 11:14:56 · answer #3 · answered by O'Brien/Ewing Wedding 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are the one who moved thousands of miles away from your family! It sounds more like you will be embarrassed that your fiance has more people coming to the wedding than you. The happiest day of your life is happy because you are marrying the love of your life, not because some cousins got on a plane to watch the event. Why not arrange a small reception back home, some time after the wedding, so you can see your extended family?
2007-05-31 11:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by Tiss 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did your dad say why none of the family is coming? Is it posssibly do to financial reasons? If they are not coming because of the fallout you had with them before then going back home to get married isnt going to change things. If that is the reason they are not coming then if they changed their minds and did come, it wouldnt make you anymore happier because they would still have hard feelings. If it is financial then you have to understand that aspect. This is your day and you should be happy. Focus on the love your dad has for you that he is coming to the wedding and he will be able to walk you down the aisle. Dont focus on the rest of your relatives and do your best to enjoy your day. They will be the ones who will later regret that they did not come to the wedding and support you. Congrats on your marriage.
2007-05-31 11:17:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure you can be upset. It's your big day & you want to share that with your family. Having a wedding here in the US, though, it's a reality that many of your family cannot afford to come. If you have some people you really want to be there, offer to help them with their plane ticket. If you postpone the wedding and have it back at your home, your bf will run into the same problem with his family. Bottom line... you are never going to please everyone. You have to decide what is most important.
2007-05-31 11:44:42 · answer #6 · answered by Stacey S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did he give a reason why they chose not to attend? If it is due to travel expenses, you cannot be upset with them. My advice to you is to go on with the wedding you have planned here. Then, why not travel to where you are from and have a nice party there so all of your family an attend. A lot of people end up doing this due to the fact that traveling is so expensive, especially if you have several family members to pay for.
Good luck and congrats!
2007-05-31 11:13:40 · answer #7 · answered by Mia1385 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Like others have said, this is probably to do with cost. Flights from overseas aren't cheap! In fact, they can be over $1,000 depending on where you're from. I couldn't afford to fly across the country to my friend's wedding last summer, let alone fly overseas (often a 12+ hour flight and $1,000+) for someone's wedding.
I'm sorry that they aren't able to come! If you want them there, perhaps you could get married in your home country instead?
2007-05-31 13:19:32 · answer #8 · answered by tink 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be happy that your dad, your stepmom and your two brothers are coming to America to see your wedding!
You should NOT be expecting your entire family to come over and no you should NOT be upset.
Its a destination wedding for them. They have to spend money on passports, airfare, hotel reservations, an outfit for the wedding, if they get you a gift, as well as needing time off from work to see your wedding.
2007-05-31 11:56:41 · answer #9 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is so sad, but I have a question why don't you go back home and have a traditional wedding? but if you cant then accept the fact that you have to have the wedding here it is pretty expensive for people to travel here for the exchange rate is ridiculous.Do whatever you can afford to do and whatever the outcome HAVE A HAPPY MARRAIGE.
2007-05-31 12:32:54 · answer #10 · answered by angelie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not about your family or his family. It's about the two of you starting a family. I know it'd be great if eveyone could be there but ...just breathe and concentrate on your soon to be new husband and your life together.
2007-05-31 19:35:05 · answer #11 · answered by Christina D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋