wow i was talking to my best guy friend late, see he called me at like 1 and we talked to 5 30. Um, he is acting like he likes me, but i am trying to avoid the subject, cause last time he did that, he almost ruined our friendship and i shunned him for four months. And when we were talking on the phone, he said, " i love you princess." And i didn't really do anything about it cause he was kinda out of it. But the night before we were up late on the phone and he said that i made a cute little grunting moaning noise. Its just so awkward cause he is my best friend and i can and do tell him everything. I don't know if i should just let it slide and forget about it, but i don't wanna ruin our friendship because he is so sweet and i love him so much (not in that kinda way). He is like the ultimate best friend and i don't want to screw that up again. If you have any advice our similar experiances, please answer!
2007-05-31 03:53:54 · 7 answers · asked by mekaylahall 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i would try to set some ground rules, unless you want to try a relationship with him, its all up to you, but if you dont say anything he will keep on saying those kind of remarks
2007-05-31 03:58:35 · answer #1 · answered by SteveO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I had my best guy friend fall in love with me although I already had a boyfriend but it was long distance relationship. I would spent hours talking about my boyfriend to my best guy friend so he knew how much I was in love.
But out of the blue one day, this guy kissed me and said he is in love with me. I was upset and just stopped talking to him and avoided him. He apologised and all that and a few weeks/months later I forgave him and we became friends again. The story repeated. He said he was my friend but was not acting like it... holding my hand, touching me, etc... and I told him friends don't do that and stopped talking to him again.... and than again I forgave him.... and the story reapeated... each time it started becoming worst... each time I ignored him longer and longer but somehow he always used to make me forgive him. He even physically hurt me on more than one occassion because I was talking to some other guy... and than he had the guts to tell me that my boyfriend would have not like it. He just started to change and become a psycho.
Years and years later, he started emailing me and stupid me, I forgave him... he is such a sweet talker... he had some problems and I felt sorry for him... he has no friends now.... but I only got hurt again when he wrote some pretty disgusting stuff (his fantasies about me). I think that was the last time... I never forgave him... I never saw him.... and if I ever did, I would look away and never look at him again.
He was not a psycho the first two years I knew him but it all started after he fell in love with me..... my friends said it's because I was his first love and I never returned his love.... I really don't care.... I don't know you or your guy friend..... but this is my story... and my advice... be very careful!
Edit:
I just read what Mgerben had to say and his advice is pretty good too... if only I had that advice about 10 years ago, i would never have got hurt and that psycho friend of mine would have been ok today!
2007-05-31 04:13:55 · answer #2 · answered by luba 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well . . . I don't know your ages, but I suspect you're both about freshmen or sophomores in high school. Anyway, it's obvious that he likes you still. I suspect he thinks that because you talk on the phone so much, your relationship is getting closer. He probably thinks that if he gets to be good enough friends with you you'll change your mind about him and want to go out with him. He sounds very inexperienced. You do too, to not know what's going on here.
Now, there are a few things you can do here to resolve the situation, and all of them are better than what you're doing now:
1) Back off, spend less time on the phone with him. No more than 30 minutes at a time would be ideal. You're wasting his time and yours. I know you tell him everything and all, but he's not your therapist. Four hours is way excessive. Even if he seems to enjoy it, it will chew him up inside to know that he's getting nowhere with you after talking so much. (The sad thing is, he might not know that he's getting nowhere . . . he could be in denial or completely ignorant.)
2) Hook him up with one of your friends (and talk to him less also).
3) Try dating him. Really, what's holding you up here? What is it about him that makes you not attracted to him? You must like his personality, so what gives? Losing friends is something that happens all the time . . . it's no big deal.
4) Stop talking to him.
You have to do something here . . . it may not be obvious, but he probably feels bad about you not wanting to go out with him. When that happened to me (I was in high school at the time), I thought there was something really wrong with me . . . I thought "why do these girls get to be such good friends with me, but then insist that they don't like me 'like that'? It must be pretty bad . . ." He thinks he can win you over, and that happens so rarely in real life that it's not worth the effort. You see, that's what happens in movies. Guys learn that "persistence pays off" when that's mostly false in situations like yours. It often takes years of pain to teach them otherwise. Instead of spending four hours on the phone with you, he should be spending four hours chatting up some girls who he might actually have a chance with. Don't hold it against him that he doesn't know better, but definitely try to point him in the right direction and help him out if you will not give him a chance as a boyfriend. Have a nice day!
2007-05-31 04:18:43 · answer #3 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do realise that he has fallen in love with you?
Men do that, sorry, fact of life.
You also realise that by avoiding the subject in the name of friendship, you are making it impossible for him to fall in love with other girls, and you are basically using him because you love to talk to him so much?
I think 99.999% of girls do not realise this. But if you really consider him your friend, you should realise that he has a problem now, and he can't and won't snap out of it. His male brain will tell him he is going the right way with you - so his interest in other women drops to zero.
He will eventually be unhappy because you keep him at arms length and never discuss the situation.
You are acting in your own interest here, and against the best interest of your best friend. This friendship is going to stop him from getting a girlfriend.
2007-05-31 04:01:11 · answer #4 · answered by mgerben 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I also had a best friend and he was really sweet to. he use to like me and he asked me to go out with him but I always said no because he was my best friend and didn't want to ruin our friendship and up to now we are still friends and we never went out. He would call me everyday and come over to my house every other day. he is a really good friend. I think you should have a serious talk with him but do it face to face.
Best Wishes
2007-05-31 04:06:36 · answer #5 · answered by Totsie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you be straight forward with him and tell him that you don't like the way he talks to you and that it would be nice of him to keep the topics clean. Well if your straight forward it might hurt him but eventually he would learn to respect you.
2007-05-31 04:03:22 · answer #6 · answered by butterfly 23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel, he'll either accept it or leave it alone if he's a real friend.
2007-05-31 03:58:46 · answer #7 · answered by james 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋