I'm trying to properly word my wedding invitations and I just can't seem to please everyone. I'm now argueing with both my fiance and mother over something I believe to be pretty trivial. My fiance hasn't spoken to his mother in over 10 years and obviously she is not going to be invited to the wedding (touchy subject). So, we didn't want to state in the invitations "along with their parents". My fiance just wanted it to say our names "request the honour of your presence". At the same time, my mother (and step-dad) is paying for a fairly large portion of the reception hall which includes the food. My father can't help as he's undergoing radiation and chemo treatments and he has no insurance. My mother wants parents names to be included on the invitations and has now offered to pay for half of them if we do so. So, that would include both my mother, step-dad, my dad, and my fiance's dad and step-mother. Help?
2007-05-31
03:40:54
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18 answers
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asked by
angel
3
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Weddings
Oh, and I wanted to put our names "along with our family and friends", but apparently this doesn't work for anyone either.
2007-05-31
03:41:55 ·
update #1
The only proper way to word your invitation is to use "together with their parents or together with their families". This way you won't exclude anyone who is contributing to your wedding even though your fiance's mother isn't involved. But only use "honour of your presence" (spelled honour - not honor) if you are holding your ceremony in a church or religious facility otherwise you would use "pleasure of your company" for any other type of facility (garden, mansion, inn, hotel ballroom, banquet hall etc.). Good Luck!
2007-05-31 04:00:46
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answer #1
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answered by holmeskaykay 4
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You don't have to include all parents just because you include some parents. Typically, if the bride's parents are paying the majority, the bride's parents are the ones hosting and therefore inviting the guests. So it would go something like : Mr. and Mrs. John Doe request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Jane Anne to Joe Schmoe son of Mr. Bill Schmoe and you could leave out his mother's name if you want. Since your parents are divorced you can still do Mr. and Mrs. such and such because they are still hosting the wedding. The invitation isn't really the place you try to honor your parents, it simply tells everyone who is hosting the wedding. If the two of you were paying for it yourselves it would be only your names. So not having one or two parents names on the invitation isn't an insult, its just a matter of practicality so people know who to contact regarding details of the wedding. Your mother and stepfather's names should definitely be on the invitation. Your father doesn't have to be on the invitation and neither do his parents unless you just really want to include them. If anyone gets offended because of that, its just silly. Theknot.com has a section with invitation wordings that specifies how to word the invitation for each individual situation.
http://www.theknot.com/sf_invitationwording.shtml
You can show them this info and that should clear up any confusion or ill feelings.
2007-05-31 04:22:05
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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Hey Miss! Get your invites done! hehe
I think you should just have everyones name on it as you stated, "your Mom, your Step-Dad, your Dad, fiance's Dad, fiance's step-mom" .... You have to respect the fact that your Mom and Step-Dad are paying for a large portion of your wedding. Your fiance is being a little unreasonable not wanting to have any parents listed on the invitations. At the end of the day, they are just invitations though.
On my invitations, I have it that my parents are inviting everyone. It was just a formality though. My fiance and I are paying for the entire thing ourselves though. Doesn't matter though.
Good luck!
2007-06-01 11:38:13
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answer #3
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answered by Kass 3
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Traditionally, only the names of the brides parents were listed on the invitation, anyway. Try Mr and Mrs your stepdad's last name an Mr your dad's last name request the honor of your presence as their daughter your name and your fiance's name exchange marriage vows then give the time date and location.
2007-05-31 04:18:47
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answer #4
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answered by orangeflameninja 4
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What I did w/my birthday, replaced into provide an invitation w/that man or woman's call on it. That way they know that they are the only ones envisioned. If u prefer 2 prepare some politeness or no longer 2 make any1 experience undesirable, u would desire to declare something alongside the lines of...u can deliver a buddy alongside or u would desire to grant the different roommates an invitation 2. it would be a reliable way 2 initiate a protracted ignored convo w/them. that's all up 2 what u prefer 2 do. reliable success.
2016-12-18 09:48:15
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answer #5
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answered by ? 4
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When the parents are paying for the wedding (even part of it), their names should be included on the invitations.
You don't need to include his mother's name - does he have a father who's in the picture? You could include his dad's name and your parents' names. Include your father's name even if he's not contributing, out of respect for him (if you have a good relationship).
2007-05-31 04:22:10
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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Mr. and Mrs. Clyde C. Martin
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Margaret Ashley
to
Mr. Peter Phillip Chandler
Saturday, the sixteenth of July
Two thousand and Ten
at five o'clock in the afternoon
Woman's Library
Route 6A
Brewster, Massachusetts
or
With joyful hearts
we ask you to be present
at the ceremony uniting
Jane Smith
and
John Jones
on October 20th
2010
at 6:00 pm
at St. Mary's Church
100 Grand Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Steven and Patricia Smith
2007-05-31 04:06:20
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answer #7
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answered by LB 6
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I can understand that.
You are in a rock and a hard place.
Here is what I would tell your fiance. Ask him if he really wants to start off on bad terms with your parents? Is it really worth this? Plus, reiterate that they are paying for a hefty portion of your wedding bills, and as such deserve some credit for being your parents.... and you don't want to hurt them.
Does he still speak to his father? Maybe you could put him on the invite...
Or maybe you could put that your parents request the presense (or however it's worded)... the wedding of you and him.... blah blah blah.....
Good luck!
2007-05-31 04:03:18
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answer #8
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answered by Laura 4
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Usually you put the parents names if they are helping pay. You can include your parents (I would include you dad as well, I'm sure he would pitch in if he could) However, if your fiances parents aren't paying, they don't need to be included. If you can't come to a discussion that makes everyone happy. Just stick with you and your fiance.
2007-05-31 03:46:44
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answer #9
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answered by PhantomRN 6
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You cannot please everyone. The solution to the problem is to word the invitation is a contemporary way, must people do that nowadays due to avoid the problem with step-parenmts and stranged parents etc.
The way to word it should be:
Joe Doe and Jane Edo request the honour of your presence to withness their union in Holy Matrimony.
Ceremony would be.... followed by reception at----
For mor contenporary wording ideas, you can go to The Knot.com
Good luck and congrats.
2007-05-31 04:03:13
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answer #10
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answered by Blunt 7
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