In your opinion, how would you handle a Grandparent adoption?

Question

My father asked me yesterday if I would allow him to adopt my son. He said it's for his financial well-being. He would receive a SSI check for almost one thousand dollars and a check from the military plus his college tuition would be paid, and he would receive a check for going to college. My thing is .... what if I make a decision, and they (my parents) go against it, and tell my son something entirely different, KNOWING that I told him not to do something? I know that I would have given up my parental rights, but this is only for his financial well-being. (I am pregnant w/ my 2nd child, and my son is a teenager) What would you do in this situation? Serious answers only. (I am thinking hard and strong about this, because I don't want to make the wrong decision.)

See, that's another thing.... by bigred stating that his "adoptive parents".... I have a problem with that!!! I don't think my parents would do that... override a decision I have made, but I don't know for sure. I am in a financial position where I can afford 2 children. My fiance' and I are doing pretty good, but my parents are looking for the financial well-being of my son. I just don't know. I don't know!!!!

Okay. My son is 13yrs old, so I don't think he's able to make a decision about that on his own. He was around when the question was asked to me. From my understanding, nothing would change. He would still live with me, I would still give him all of the discipline needed etc.... As far as my father, he is not selfish. My parents are well off, and I do believe they want the best for my son, but it's hard making a decision like that!!! My parents have a great relationship with my son. It may be because he's the only boy in my immediate family, and he's the only grand so far, so they want what's best for him. It would be hard for me to sign a paper over relinquishing my rights though. I'm a mother!!!

Answer 1

It sounds fishy to me, I'm sorry. If I were well off and wanted to help with a grandchilds education, I'd just come out and pay for it, not demand the child be given over to me in return... And there's just something wrong with adopting a child for money.

Answer 2

I would need to ask a few questions first before actually stating my opinion as it is not clear in the question.
1. Has your son been living with your parents and have they had temporay legal custody through the court system?
2. Is your son's father involved in his life and would he also be willing to sign off his rights?
3. Does your son have a case worker?

*I would think hard and long on this before making any decision. Speak to an attorney. If all the above answers are yes and you decide to procede ask about Open adoption and have everything spelled out.
Also social security and the military will be involved if you dad adopts and adds him, so there will be many more questions for them and if they find anything fradulent, I don't know what the penaties will be

Answer 3

This is a very difficult question! It sounds like your son would benenfit in many ways if this plan were carried out, especially regarding his education. But I think that it depends a lot on the relationship your son has with his grandparents. Is there real, genuine love on both sides? Do they "spoil" him, or would they be able to offer appropriate discipline and guidance when necessary? I am guessing that they are over 65, since your son would receive SSI if they adopted him. Are they in sufficiently in good health, with all their faculties, to devote themselves to guiding your son through the teen years? And how will your son feels if he learns that you gave up your parental rights to his grandparents for a financial reason?

I think that if your son is a teenager, it might be a good idea to lay all these cards out on the table, and ask him how he feels about this plan BEFORE making a decision.

Answer 4

If you want to parent your teenage son then do not give him up. Once you give him up you do not have the right to tell him what to do and have to respect what his adoptive parents tell him to do. Have you considered giving up your second child for adoption? If you are having financial difficulties is a new baby something you can handle? Giving your second child the opportunities in life you can't afford through adoption you will be helping it out and your son at the same time. Without the financial strains of a new child your son will be better off.

Answer 5

I think you really need to consider this carefully. It is good that your parents want to ensure the financial well being of your son, but you are right that adoption is very serious.
Apart from the obvious financial implications what about the practicality of the situation, will you be able to sign his permission slips for school as you are no longer legally tied to him. Also if something happens to you where does that leave him, financially if you do not have a will it could be difficult.

Answer 6

No, I think it's a bad idea. It will teach your son to connive and cheat a system with something as basic as parentage. Your Dad apparently has issues with morality. Do you really want to teach your son that?

Your son would become your parent's son and your brother and you have no rights. Your son has other ways to get through college that don't involve cheating the government and your son. If your parents are well off, as you say, then they can afford to help in ways that don't involve taking him away (which they can do if you give your rights away).

Answer 7

Have you asked your son his thoughts on this? I am legally adopted by my nan and had a great life but the reasons for this have forever been hidden from me and they both have a different story to tell. I dont think I will ever get to the bottom of the reason but I do know I still see my mum and although we dont have a mother daughter relationship I still care for her.
The fact you are considering this for your sons sake shows you are being very brave and shows how much you think of his welfare.

Answer 8

I dont think I would do it because you never know what could happen.. What if....You and your father get in a fight he could actually take your child, and you wouldnt be able to see him anymore. Or if (hope this doesnt happen) something happens and he has to go into the hospital, you would have no say on if he gets medication or life support...its your decision. I just know I wouldnt do it even if i were paid a million dollars, you just never know what could happen.. good luck with your decision.

Answer 9

i replaced into observed at start. I even have ordinary this on account that i replaced into sufficiently old to understand. I on no account tried to form a dating with my organic and organic family simply by fact I discern if that they had wanted that that they had have stored me. i'm no longer being bitter here, i do no longer resent them or something, i'm only no longer the form to flow sticking my nostril the place it truly isn't any longer wanted. i'm no longer asserting that i'm appropriate and you're incorrect, yet consistent with hazard that's the place this line of theory comes from. consistent with hazard some human beings assume that the organic and organic dad and mom only desire to be left on my own to stay their existence in peace. consistent with hazard they experience that being got here across in an prolonged time may be painful for them. i do no longer understand. yet that's my strategies-set. If it truly is an open adoption that's one element, yet whilst it truly is closed, I discern it truly is closed for a reason. Edit: no longer that i might ever decide you, or the two of your families, for having a dating with one yet another. i'm only attempting to shed some easy on the strategies-set you're asking approximately. =) i'm happy that each and every thing has labored out for you.

Answer 10

Tell him yes, I wish my parents would do that for me, you get to see your child whenever you want and it beats having your children adopted by a stranger.