What would you do???

Question

I have a 16-year-old son who fishes in a lot of bass fishing tournaments. He is looking forward to one in June that is going to be about 4 hours from where we live, so we would be going and spending 2 nights, which we have done before and it works out fine. However, at this point, THE MONEY IS JUST NOT THERE. We COULD go, but we would have absolutely no money for ANYTHING else until sometime in July--and I mean we probably wouldn't even be able to get groceries for a couple of weeks. I can't stand to not have any "padding" for emergencies.

I'm sitting here at work struggling not to cry because I'll probably have to tell him he can't fish in that tournament, which is a "state championship" and it means a LOT to him. But what am I supposed to freaking do?? Rob a bank??

I guess my question to you is, should I just go ahead and sacrifice whatever I need to sacrifice so that he can fish in this tournament, or will he just have to be mature enough to understand my predicament??

Answer 1

Making sacrifices for your kids is good, but not at the expense of being able to feed the family or pay the bills. Explain the facts to him honestly. He is 16 years old so he should be mature enough. Everyone has to make sacrifices in life. It's time for him to make one.

Answer 2

Have you thought of alternatives? I mean, money for gas, food and 2 nights in a hotel is one thing but could you camp instead of stay at a hotel? Bring your own food? Anything like that? Stretch the grocery dollar for a couple weeks?
It sounds like some amount of sacrifice has to be made to make this trip and either you can think creatively so you have enough money for everything, or you will unfortunately have to not go. I don't think you should sacrifice groceries for your family for a month but I think if you really thought creatively, you might be able to work it out.

Answer 3

There comes a time in all kids lives when they learn that the world can't revolve around them. Nowadays parents bow down to whatever whims the kids have in order not to disappoint. But the world will disappoint them and it can be a good learning experience for him, because he will more than likely be put in the same situation one day with his own family.
Why not tell him now the situation, once kids know the facts then they can know that it's a serious situation. Maybe he could mow a few lawns for some extra cash to help out. If it's that important to him have him help you brainstorm ways to cut back or raise money in order to go.
I know when I was a teenager I would take something like that very personally and think my mom was just being mean if she didn't tell me the reasons why. So be honest with him. He'll understand if not now, one day in the future.

Answer 4

Your 16 year old has is of age to work a summer job. If its possible, tell him to pick up 30 hours a week at minimum wage and and by July he should have $130 per week (near $700). Tell him if it's important, you will do what you can to get him there, but he needs to throw in a helping hand too. Not saying he should pay for all of it, but a good share should help while also giving him a sense of responsibility. He would probably feel good if he got a job specifically for this reason, then was able to pay for part because it gives him a "grown up" way to help. Good luck!
P.S I don't know labor laws, but minumun he should be able to work 20 hours a week and minumum wage is $6.50 I think.

Peach
IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE WHOLE STORY, JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION AND DON'T PASS JUDGEMENT!!!

Answer 5

WOW!!! That's tough. What I would do is sit your son down and tell him exactly what you have written down here.
Talk with him and your husband and let him know that you are up against. Then... talk it out and see if there are any ideas that you can come up with. Your son may see your financial prodicament and say... "Mom, it's ok. I can go next year." Maybe in July when you have the money, you and your family can all go fishing then. It's hard when you can't give exactly what your child wants. Especially when it is so important to them. Just remember though... everyone has to make sacrifices through life. It's a hard lesson to learn but one that is so important in learning.
Good Luck!

Answer 6

you will just have to tell him that he can't compete in this one. he'll probably be mad at first, but he will understand that things are tight and you can't afford it. If he truly can't deal with it, why don't you try to find the absolute cheapest thing you can (hotee, pack lunches and food, entry fees, etc.) then tell him if he can raise half of the money, you'll pay for half. (this may not be feasible for you, I don't know your situation). Maybe you could find a person who would be willing to split a hotel room with him. Try everything you can, but don't sacrifice groceries and a buffer for emergencies for one tournament. He may want to go, but he also has to understand that he may have to sacrifice for the betterment of the family also. Good luck

Answer 7

Explain the situation to him, and ask him if it's important enough for him to sell something of value that he has. As a 16 year old boy, I'm sure he's got something to sell. Then, you all could agree to seriously tighten for a few weeks afterwards (tuna/noodle casserole for a week). Where there's a will there's a way, but everyone has to be on board. Talk about it as a family and let him know how hard this is for all of you. It's a great life lesson. Then, maybe he'll discover it's not as important to him as he thought. Or, maybe it'll strengthen his resolve and he'll surprise you by coming up with a solution you haven't thought of. Either way, it's clear how much you love your son, and he'll know it. Good luck.

Answer 8

as a mother, of course I would always sacrifice for the happiness of my son. But if you won't even be able to buy groceries, that's just going too far. Sorry, he will just have to understand that if you "could" take him you would, but it's just not possible. Maybe he could cut some lawns or something to help out with the cost, that may make it possible.

Answer 9

You should explain the situation to him. He should understand, and if not, he will with time. You need money for groceries and the bills. He would probably have guilt if the family suffered so he could go fishing. The best thing is to not go and save your money.

Answer 10

I think that if the money is that tight then you need to down and explain it to him. He is old enough to understand. Maybe he will even get a job and start helping you out financially. Good luck to you and I feel for your situation.