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I'm a working mom (married, hubby works too) and my 19 month old daughter goes to daycare Monday through Friday from 5:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. I feel really bad and guilty and am really worried about her because she is so far behing other kids her age. Granted, all of my friends who have kids my daughter's age are stay at home moms (bless their hearts, I love all of my friends!), and they are able to teach their kids during the day, but I mean, it's really bad. My daughter only says "Daddy" (still hasn't said mommy - ouch!), "Ashee" (which is the name of our cat and she calls anything with 4 legs this also), "ball", "pretty" "book", "shoe" and "see". All of the other kids her age put words together to try to make sentences, can point to colors (which mine has no clue), know baby sign language, can tell their moms what they want, and are starting to potty train. After I get off of work at 5 p.m., I come home, cook supper, wash dishes, clean, do yard work, laundry and (see below)

2007-05-31 02:07:40 · 16 answers · asked by ~*Mrs. GM2*~ 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting Parenting

and then by the time I get all of that done, there's only about 20 or 30 minutes to spend with my daughter before her bed time. What are some things that I can do to get her to learn more? I just feel terrible that she is so far behind! Any moms out there who can give me any suggestions about ways to teach her in the very short amount of time I have with her every day? Weekends are usually spent catching up on everything I didnt' get doen during the week....lol. Help!

2007-05-31 02:10:19 · update #1

16 answers

Well, first of all don't worry so much. Children develop at different rates and stages. check out the developmental milestones chart below.

Second make whatever time you have with her quality time. Read to her, play games, identify colors, sing songs. etc. She will catch up with the others. I would also look at her daycare. Is she in a center where she is only around othe infants, or is she in a home setting where the ages are mixed. I am a family child care provider, and my daughter talked very early and seems to be more advanced in many areas because she is trying to keep up with the bigger kids around her. I also get more time to spend with everyone because I have a small group.
I hope this helps.

2007-05-31 04:02:56 · answer #1 · answered by Daybreak 5 · 0 0

Hi. I'm a working mother too. My 1-year old has been going to daycare since he was 7 months old. He attends from 730 am to 430 pm, Monday - Friday. Most of the women I know are stay-at-home moms. I feel tremendous guilt most days. My son seems right on track (if not advanced) for his age, however. He has been walking for about one month. He has a vocabulary of about 10 words. (He just learned how to say bye-bye and wave his hand at the same time!) Anyway, why do you think it is daycare that may be delaying her speech? I read an article that said most children in a high-quality daycare will benefit by having a more extensive vocabulary than children who were not in daycare (for at least 2 years?). I do feel like I don't spend enough time with my baby during the week. Yes, and then there is the never-ending housework, etc. What daycare do you use? :)

2007-05-31 13:46:39 · answer #2 · answered by Rosi 1 · 0 0

Read a book to your daughter every night before you put her to bed. It will only take about 5 minutes. Reading to her daily will help her through elementary school. Some kids learn to talk later than others. My daughter barely put 2 or 3 words together when she turned 2 and another girl her age was speaking in complete sentences. You do have a full day so if you only have 20 - 30 minutes to spend with your daughter then make it quality time. Play games, point out objects and colors and say the words, and read to her. Reading is probably the most important thing you can do for her in the long run.

2007-05-31 02:31:12 · answer #3 · answered by angela 6 · 0 0

Well, first I want to say that I'm a working mom with two kids in daycare, and I can feel your pain. But, I would caution you about comparing your daughter with your friends kids. Have you talked to your pediatrician? He/She'll know better whether your daughter is far enough behind to be concerned. My son was so far behind in his talking that I was convinced he was autistic. Everyone kept telling me that he was fine, and sure enough, one day he started talking up a storm and he hasn't stopped. Just keep an eye on her and talk to your doctor. If you have a nagging concern, make sure you keep revisiting it. There could be a problem, and you need to know as soon as possible if there is.

Secondly, I would say that with your crazy schedule, it's time to revisit what's truly important. I can relate to the insane list of things to get done everyday. My husband and I have gotten very creative about when we do chores and what we get done. Give yourself a break on some of your chores. Consider hiring someone to handle some of the load (yardwork-cleaning). I know that sounds like an extravagance, but the money is well spent in the end. You could even hire a school kid who is out on summer break to help. Your daughter probably has a pretty early bedtime still, so make a rule that the only chore you do when you get home is to prepare and eat dinner. Use the extra time you now have to play games that increase her verbal skills. There are tons of ideas out there, but just the act of talking with your daughter is helping her learn. Having her "help" you cook while you tell her everything you're doing. Kids her age are like sponges. They are processing a lot more than it appears they are. Then, after she's asleep start your chores.

We do a lot of cooking on the weekend to make the weekdays easier. I save laundry for one day a week, so that I'm not doing it all the time. And, lastly, my house and yard is far from perfect. Sometimes, I get annoyed about it, but then I think about what I'm choosing instead. Time with the family. It's an important lesson to teach your daughter. There are always responsibilities, but in the end, it's time with loved ones that should win out.

Finally, although it might be impossible, consider changing your work hours slightly. When I had my daughter, I changed my work hours so that I came in two hours earlier and leave two hours earlier. It means I always have a crazy morning, but I get some good quality time with my kids every afternoon.

Good luck. Balancing it all is impossible, but it's clear that you see the need for some sort of change.

2007-05-31 02:17:42 · answer #4 · answered by georgiabirdgirl 3 · 1 0

I can completely relate to your feelings....I often experience a hefty dose of "mommy guilt" myself after teaching all day...Our dd is 17 mo/16 adj. and has been diagnosed with hypertonia- (high muscle tone) she receives pt/ot services biweekly, but is fine cognitively. Try not to make comparisons with what other children are doing...as a teacher I see this all of the time- that each child learns differently- and at their own pace...she is only supposed to be saying 5-10 words at this point anyway...some kids say more, but don't make comparisons...I really don't think she is falling behind. I constantly tell our daughter everything we are doing- ex: "I am opening the door, we are walking down the steps, opening the car, going to the store." I probably sound idiotic to some, but the best way to build language skills is to constantly narrate the obvious to your child and label your environment. I always berate myself for not working with our daughter enough on her exercises- because when I come home from work- I do the same things you do....get dinner, wash dishes, bathe her, etc.....it's hard sometimes....hang in there and we will also give you all the support you need!

2007-05-31 22:30:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I would switch day-cares if possible to one with a better program just because she is in daycare doesn't mean she shouldn't be learning in fact that is suppose to be a big part of day care not just supervision.

Try and make it a point to teach her on weekends you and your husband can work on things like colors and word with her. All children move at their own pace but is still important to guide them along because the farther behind a child is the harder and more frustrating it is for them to catch up also as I said before all children learn at there own pace my aunt's grandson did not talk much at 1st until he hit 24-26 months then he started to try and sing songs and talk with words from his kiddie videos he is 2 and half now and is trying to make full sentences.

You can't judge your child's development based on other children you have to let her take her time and not pressure her but it is also important to spend time with her even if it is only a little while or perhaps leave her with grandma or a trusted friend or relative with children 1 or 2 days a week so she can interact with other kids and be stimulated.

The time saving ideas above are great ideas too if dinner seems to take a big chunk out of your time try getting one of those machines I forget what they are called...you place your food in a plastic freezer safe bag and it is sealed air tight you can freezes meals in these bags for months. You could do as the mom above stated and cook and store your food over the weekend that way during the weekday you do not have to cook as much. My parents use them and it keeps the food fresh and tasting great.

good luck!

2007-05-31 02:38:43 · answer #6 · answered by BabyBella 2 · 0 0

I have a 7 month old baby boy and we did not want to put him in daycare so I found a way to work from home. He has started crawling now so it's a bit harder to get things done during the day but I am so thankful I get to spend so much time with him. He started saying dad but still won't say mum - I think dad must be easier for them to learn!

Have you thought about working from home? There are a lot of opportunities now with the internet. Respond if you want some suggestions - I know a lot of people who work from home in many different industries.

2007-05-31 03:10:16 · answer #7 · answered by Jen K 1 · 0 0

Here's a couple of ideas...

On the weekend, why not make meals that you can freeze and re-heat during the week. This will cut down on the time to prepare dinner.

Use paper plates if possible to cut down on dishes.

Do the laundry on the weekend.

Leave yard work to the weekend.

Get hubby to pitch in with the work... I realize that he is working too, but he needs to either help with the housework or spending time with your daughter.

Take her for walks and talk to her the whole time. Tell her the names of everything that you see.

Have her help you do things around the house. Children love to feel like they are doing things for themselves. It establishes a sense of pride. Have her help you water the plants/flowers outside.

Some children develop their speech later. Have you had her hearing checked to make sure that she does not have any problems there?

Read, sing, color, play, anything with your child. The more time you spend with her the better.

2007-05-31 03:13:24 · answer #8 · answered by zeus112999 4 · 0 0

You must put your daughter first. Hard, I know.
Actually, your day is so long that I feel for you. Is there no way you can shorten it? Or get some help in to free you?
Invest in a slow cooker, so you don't have to spend ages getting your dinner ready. Do your chores after she goes to sleep.
Perhaps too you could have a look at what they're teaching her in daycare. It might not be too stimulating. Perhaps you could speak to someone there?
I'm sure she will catch up.

2007-05-31 02:19:05 · answer #9 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0 0

Your daughter just needs more time with you. Kids learn from every day things we do with them. Playing counting games, pointing to things and saying what they are, watching kids learning movies, reading stories and lots of other things. Most of all, they need time with mom to do these things.

Put aside some of the chores and use that time for your daughter. Soon she will be growing and you won't be able to go back and do it over. Many things in my home get put off until my children have had time with me.

2007-05-31 02:25:09 · answer #10 · answered by Breezey is saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY 7 · 0 0

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