That one about Jesus returning with his magic powers is two thousand years old now. How about a new one -- like, "Mount Vesuvius will spew hot fudge sundaes," or something fun like that?
2007-05-31 00:23:05 · 18 answers · asked by ? 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Lovely image. How about something for those of us who can't take time off work right now? Say the tap water turns into a good Burgundy every evening from 8pm -9.
2007-05-31 00:32:15 · answer #1 · answered by The angels have the phone box. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like the hot fudge sundae idea, but Vesuvius is a long way from Texas. How about "The great physician will come with liposuction and boob jobs for all!"
2007-05-31 07:27:48 · answer #2 · answered by in a handbasket 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm offended by the fact that "in a handbasket" thinks I might need a boob job. Mine are natural and beautiful, thank you very much!
You're right though, 2000 years of waiting seems a bit silly, even for humans. I'm afraid the Vesuvius thing might be a too big leap of faith for many. Maybe we should just pick a more recent dead body to return.
But then again, who really would want Jerry Falwell to return to this planet?
2007-05-31 07:41:25 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A lot of those predictions have been proven true in Gods own time, Jesus will return, he may be giving you time to change your mind and not reject him.
I pray that you have enough time. Try to remember that no christian has said Jesus is coming on a specific date or time (some nut cases have) but that he will return soon. Many things had to be fulfilled before his return and most of them have.
Soon you will see an all out attack on Israel by Russia and a huge army from many countries. If you have not come to ask Jesus to be your savior by then you may want to pray right away. This enormous army will be destroyed by God for all to see (except 1/4 as a witness). This army will include many Muslim countries lead by Russia.
I wish you could see the truth instead of what society and education teaches you. I will pray for you, I hope you consider what I have said and think about what God has done.
2007-05-31 07:34:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
Okay...I like the sundaes idea. Or maybe beer raining from the sky?
2007-05-31 07:26:29 · answer #5 · answered by KS 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i predict that the christians will continue to wait for jesus for another 2000 years and will keep saying that they are the generation that will witness his return.
2007-05-31 09:32:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Its time to get realistic and stop acting like idiots. Jesus hahahaha
2007-05-31 07:28:53 · answer #7 · answered by john 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ok I agree it's time for a new prediction. But, I am NOT going to be responsible for cleaning up all that chocolate.
2007-05-31 08:31:21 · answer #8 · answered by Kallan 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I grew up with that "End Times" stuff, and it scared the crap out of me. There's enough around to scare people without it.
2007-05-31 11:04:12 · answer #9 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everyone teased Noah when he started building the ark. I'm sure they got tired of Noah saying it was going to rain. (It took about forty years for Noah to build the ark) "Go get in your boat, you wack-job! God says it's gonna rain, huh? Loser!" And then, wonder of wonders, it started raining. And raining, and raining. Guess what, they all perished, probably cursing God and Noah. They cursed God for flooding the earth, and Noah for leaving them there to die. Same thing today.
Make sure you get a cherry on top before you go.
2007-05-31 07:35:09 · answer #10 · answered by singwritelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋