My 2 years old girl crys like hell when she insists to have something and don't get it, what do i do ?

Question

She will keep on crying and screaming for half an hour unless i will give her what she wants.
What is the best to do ? thanks for any help

Answer 1

I'm 57 and a father of 3 (now grown up) the problem is, if you give in to her every time she cries, she'll soon learn that it's the way to get what she wants. I knw it's hard, but, if you check that she's not hungry/thirsty/in pain. then ignore her. She will learn that crying doesn't work in that way .(but it will tear at your heartstrings). Take courage - it will work. Hope this helps.

Answer 2

2 year olds especially will do that for attention. If they can manipulate you at this age, then they will continue to all their lives, so be firm. If you are at home, try the 'chill out step' or corner and tell her she has to sit in it whenever she has a tantrum. Make sure it is in a place away from anything fun or interesting, and she'll need to sit there for 2 minutes AFTER she stops crying so she can think about how silly she's been. Dont give her an option about it. Just pick her up and sit her there whilst she's having a paddy. If she moves away from it, put her back and dont say anything. She will learn that you are Mommy and the boss. not the other way around

Be strong. This is not being horrible to your child. In fact giving her what she wants when she wants it is actually being mean to your child. She will grow up with no value for living and no respect for you. She will walk all over you and everyone else she comes across for the rest of her life.

Good luck. Hope that helps :)

Answer 3

if you give in to the crying now it will only get worse. Stand your ground and don't let her know she's getting to you. If she keeps on crying, very calmly make her go to her room til the crying stops. She will stop crying for things when she realizes it's not getting her anything. If you do give into her after awhile the crying will get worse and she'll start the screaming and yelling along with the crying. If you are in a store and the crying starts because she wants something then you have to take her out of the store or just ignore her. In the car turn the radio up and sing and ignor her til the crying stops. Best of luck!

Answer 4

Looks like she's got you trained. As long as she knows that throwing a tantrum will get her what she wants, she'll continue to do it.

When she throws a tantrum, make sure she's in a safe place where she won't hurt herself and...walk away! Ignore her. Even if she's in the same room as you. Just look away and don't talk to her. If she persists, it's perfectly acceptable to tell her that it's okay for her to scream but that she needs to do it in her room, and would she like to go there on her own or have you take here there? Be calm, and nonreactive. Toddlers like nothing better than to get their parents all riled up. You must set limits. Your daughter is crying out for them although it may not seem like it. If you set limits and boundaries your daughter will feel safer and more loved.

It may take a few weeks, but she WILL get the message eventually. That doesn't mean she'll never throw another tantrum (she's two, she's going to have them occasionally) but it will cut the amount of tantrums she has down once she realizes her tantrums have no power over you.

Answer 5

What I told my daughter at that age was: "Your behavior is unacceptable. We'll talk when you're through having your fit." And I know she at that age didn't really comprehend all of that... but over time it started to sink in. And then as long as she was in a safe environment (ie her room, the living room floor, etc....some place she wasn't going to fall from or get hurt)..... I just walked away. Let her have her tantrum.

If she refused to stop crying and screaming in a reasonable matter of time... or if I had a headache... I would calmly tell her that if she felt the need to cry that she was more than welcome to do so in the privacy of her own bedroom. And so she would either walk/run to her room (or sometimes be carried) and she was allowed to cry as long and as loudly as she wanted in there. However, daddy made a small addendum to the rule: The door must be closed. :)

Best of luck to you! It's tough-love at it's finest! Don't give in or you'll regret it!!!

Answer 6

I remember telling my children, when they tantrumed: "even if I wanted to give you this, I can't now, because that will tell you that screaming is okay, and it's not." That worked very well, actually.

In addition, when she's screaming, you want to empathize with her and teach her to use her words. "You are very angry about this." "You are very sad about this." "You really want that toy. You really wish you could have it."

She wants to know you're on her side.

Another way to show that is to say, "I wish I could give you that candy. I would give you a whole mountain of candy and we would jump off a diving board right into the candy and ...." That's called, "granting her wish in fantasy." It shifts the mood playfully, plus it tells her you're on her side, you care that she's bothered.

If she cries because she's leaving somewhere, take the time before you're going to tell her it's time to go, to give her 15 minute, 10 minute, and 5 minute warnings. Friendly, cheery information. Then, when you leave, wave bye bye to things.

Whatever you do, don't give in. Unless you realize you were wrong. Usually you won't be. She just needs your guidance in learning to express her feelings, develop patience and self-control, and come to accept that you are the boss.

Answer 7

Ultimately, children need to talk about their feelings of anger rather than lashing out verbally or physically. But when the first tantrums hit, somewhere around the two-year mark, children don't yet know the words to describe their emotions. So they act them out instead. Your goal in handling a tantrum is to let the child know that this behavior will get him or her absolutely nowhere. It is best to handle it without anger and without submission.


Remain calm. It helps if you remind yourself that a tantrum is a natural and not a "bad" reaction to frustration and anger. Go about your affairs and wait for the storm to pass.


Don't show anger or disgust. Your child is already going through quite an ordeal. Don't make it worse.


Don't give in. Don't let her do or get whatever caused the tantrum. Placating your child or giving in only reinforces the behavior.


Don't try to reason with the child during the outburst. Your child is a boiling sea of emotions and is in no frame of mind to listen to logic or reason.


Don't threaten punishment. Saying something like, "Stop it or I'll really give you something to cry about," is like putting out a fire by pouring gasoline on it.


Do name the child's emotion. When a child gets angry and loses control, say something like, "I know you're really mad now." Such a simple acknowledgment teaches kids to communicate what they are feeling and lets them know the anger is not bad. They just need to learn better ways to express it.


Let the tantrum run its course. Find a way to ignore it that suits you best. For example, some parents can just stand by and say nothing. Others may say something like, "I know you're angry, but you'll need to go to your room to finish crying." Others may simply say firmly, "Go to your room to cool down."


Prevent physical harm. Don't let the child attack you or anyone else or hurt himself or destroy his or others' property. If this is likely, hold him firmly but as gently as possible until he settles down. This type of hugging not only protects the child and others, it lets him know that he is loved and cared about and that getting mad will not turn his parents' hearts to stone.


Remember that your child is not an enemy. Rather, she needs your help in learning mature ways of behaving. She needs to know that when she has lost control, you are there for her and will help her regain it. If you respond to her outburst with yelling or spanking, you lose the opportunity to model how to deal with upsetting feelings.

When the tantrum is over and the child calms down, it is time to begin rebuilding. Wash the child's face and offer a drink of water or juice. Reaffirm that there is nothing wrong or bad about feeling angry. Then discuss what caused the outburst and how to resolve that specific issue. Once parents and children have gotten to the root of the problem, they can brainstorm together ways to express anger more productively in the future.

If your child has a tantrum in front of relatives, friends, or at the supermarket—in other words, with an audience who may be judging you—handling a tantrum may seem harder for you. But try to think about your priorities. Are you raising your child to please your neighbors or to help the child be happy and emotionally healthy? Regardless of your "audience," use the same basic techniques outlined above. Pick the child up, take him or her to as secluded a spot as possible, and simply stay with the child until the tantrum subsides.

I have a two year old son and he is constantly throwing temper tantrums when he doesnt get his way. I use a book called The Toddler years it gives good advice on a wide variety of issues. I also used this site below!

Answer 8

Mine use to do that she is 2 1/2.. if you ignore the behavior she will eventually stop screaming like that. If you cave in then she is always gonna scream like crazy till she gets what she wants. I know it's hard to ignore, but hey it works.

Answer 9

Strange as it may sound, ignore her - let her cry. If she thinks that throwing a tantrum will get her what she wants she will continue to throw tantrums. If you don't give in she will eventually "get the message" that throwing a tantrum will NOT work to get her what she wants.

Answer 10

hallo.. I also been through this situation. It may be very difficult to handle this go through. But , try to let her have what she want in order to make her throwing her tantrum in big shout or cried .

When she in good mood try to let her know sometimes she must wait to get something.

Try to say " no " to her but in a more patience and gentle way. But if she already starting cry just let her have it and explain to her later .

Try it.. Good Luck!