My bf has had his share of relationships whereas this is my second one. He wants me to let go of some of my ways. I've been trying but I haven't grasped the concept yet. Am I making excuses if I told him that I thought that I should be single so that i could get myself together? That maybe I wasn't ready to let go of my ways just yet because to me it's a part of who I am or I haven't had the opportunity to experience certain things for myself and learn from them. I hope that wasn't too confusing. THANKS!
2007-05-30 19:51:58 · 17 answers · asked by Tan H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it not making excuses it smart thinking on you part
2007-05-30 19:57:01 · answer #1 · answered by freddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are saying because you have not had as much experience that you need for a serious relationship rightnow.your not ready.thats why you cant change your ways yet because you still need time and experience and intill you really feel you can handle a relationship i think your making the right decision to be by yourself rightnow,to learn more about you and so you wont hurt anyone involved.so no i dont think your making excuses,you just need time so you can become a better person.im actually in the same position rightnow of needing time alone.goodluck to you.
2007-05-31 02:57:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be easier to help if you'd say what your ways are. I personally think that everyone should learn from their own mistakes. Trying to change because someone has told you or advised you doesn't usually stick. I've been warned of many things and don't get the full effect of the advice until I experience the negative effects and or consequences of my actions or decisions.
2007-05-31 04:15:45 · answer #3 · answered by Chavista Chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if someone truly loves you, he/she will accept you for who you are... And not attempt to change you... You can talk about getting things straight, what he wants to change in you, and what you want to change in him, but he has to be patient to let you change on your own... Not force it upon you... Thinking that you should be single might be an excuse, but if you think that is the best option for you, then go for it... If your boyfriend really loves you, he will wait until you are ready for a relationship with him again...
2007-05-31 02:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by talant_ohtar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, i believe that you shouldn't have to change who you are to fit someone else's description of whom they want you to be. In the end you'll probably find that you have an entirely different view on things, when your point of view was the right one all along. If u feel u should be single then by all means go for it, but if you want to make it work, then explain to your boyfriend, that you don't feel comfortable conforming to his ways, because you don't want to give up apart of you. hope this helps Tan.
TK
2007-05-31 19:56:48 · answer #5 · answered by krione 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a problem with anyone who wants to change me to be what they want instead of accepting me for who I am. There are some ways to change (quit smoking, drinking, doing drugs or losing weight) but he should accept the rest of you the way you are packaged.
He has a problem ~ say bye and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are :)
2007-05-31 02:59:39 · answer #6 · answered by KittyKat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not an excuse if you truly mean them. It's more of the reason you are not ready for the current relationship you're in.
It's understandable for young adults (18-24) to feel this way, and normal.
2007-05-31 02:55:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not making excuses. your telling the truth. your ways is what makes you who you are. you havent been through enough relationships to know just what to keep the same or change if anything needs to be changed. you know what your doing. keep doing your thing girl. dont let no one change you! especially a man! you did the right thing by asking!
2007-05-31 03:02:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot if it depends on your situation and your age. Do not change yourself for anyone. If he does not like the way you are now just think if you get married one day. This is something that seems to be a controlling nature.
2007-05-31 02:56:00 · answer #9 · answered by medicareinsurance 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he is trying to make you change then you may want to think about why he is trying to change you. Is the change better for you or him? If the change will only help him, leave him, you don;t need someone trying to make you something you arent! And you should never stay wil someone who doesnt like you for who you are! Good luck!
2007-05-31 02:56:24 · answer #10 · answered by Misty B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that what you are doing is the right thing to do,then you're not making excuses. You're being your own person and can think for yourself.
2007-05-31 02:56:32 · answer #11 · answered by TedEx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋