Like for example, I may post a question about a family member doing me wrong, & some of them make responses like, "She's your mother. She loves you. I'm pretty sure she didn't mean you any harm." Do you call it love when your mom tries to discourage you from going back to college because of her inferiority & jealousy? Also, she tried to kill me & my twin sister & she chooses favoritism for the brothers over the sisters. She lets my brothers drive her car but not me & my sisters.
2007-05-30 16:29:58 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Honey, let me tell you that it is refreshing to see that you are on top of it! I mean you nailed it! People in general have a real problem with the truth, and many still buy into the facade of "happy family relations". For those that have that situation, that is wonderful and it's a blessing as well, however there exist other situations that are extremely painful and require strength and stellar tenacity to overcome. Many just do not want to believe that situations can be that bad by nature, and yet they watch the news everyday and see the all to real outcome, of most cases like the one that you describe! You have decided, success! I think that is wonderful and it makes me proud as a black woman to see your clarity of this matter. I also think that you are of good courage and hope that in the future you will accept that your mother does love you, though her personal demons are her own, and your example may be the help that will cause her to experience this "new growth", that though she is older, she hasn't manifested as of yet. You may even find that she is a lot like you, and to see you use the strength that she may have and chose not to use, for possible lack of courage and self love, is hard. She is a woman, and your journey as one will profoundly cause you to forgive and appreciate her more as time goes on, though I'm sure fundementally this cannot be seen by you now, just keep it in the back of your mind. You are on track and keep focus on what your internal needs are as well as your external and you will be fine. Never be afraid to yield to the truth, even when it seems to redefine itself as the years go by. All the best to you and your family. YOU GO GIRL!
2007-05-30 17:23:22 · answer #1 · answered by duccees 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Blood family does not always equate to unconditional love. In your mother's own mind perhaps she does love you but that does not mean her way is acceptable to you and in many ways, sounds quite detrimental to your well-being and that of your sister. Unfortunately too many parents show favouritism and while deep down they know this, they will never openly acknowledge such behaviour. But actions speak louder than words and it is obvious to many.
Also, being a parent is not an entitlement and does not provide some free pass to allow for negativity, discouragement, jealousy, put downs, expectations, demands, excess authoritative/aggression/rudeness, back handed compliments, yelling, screaming and more.
I know of two mothers who are both extremely jealous of their daughters, one being in my immediate family and to me this is both sad and completely off the charts, and achieves nothing but confusion and distance.
I hope you find the strength to make your decisions without your mother's input and influence. Go to college, enjoy your studies and all the subsequent success, work through your own processes and remember you are not responsible for your mother's behaviour, actions or reactions. If you can let go of any expectations from her, you can never be hurt or angered by her words and actions.
Remember.....blood family is not the only family.
2007-05-30 23:56:22 · answer #2 · answered by LiverGirl98 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope you can understand how easy it would be to assume that families love each other. Unfortunately many people (yourself included) do come from homes where that's not the case. I know very little about your situation but I hope that you find a way to find peace--whether in resolving things with mom or coming to a conclusion that it won't be resolved.
Good luck!
2007-05-30 23:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow... attempted murder? Why isn't she in jail?
2007-05-31 00:21:14 · answer #4 · answered by Y!A P0int5 Wh0r3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋