what should i do about my cousin... she is supposed to be walking in my wedding?

Question

My cousin who is supposed to be my maid of honor ... to make a long story short she fell in love with a man that she decided she couldnt be with because of religion issues and she stopped seeing him for a while she started talking to him again (which i dont approve of he made her pretty much feel like crap after the break up and now she is crawling back to him) but when i ask her a question about him she says its not my busniess and we are supposed to be best cousins and today she asked me to come on a boat ride with him and my other cousin and i told her i wanted to be with my fiance of course she has a short temper so she got upset and was like W.e how am i supposed to react to this i dont want to ruin my wedding day and my fiance is not controling but thinks i should just leave her alone if "its none of my busniess" like she said
i still love her and want her to be in my wedding but im starting to change my mind what are some opinions keep in mind she has a short temper :/

Answer 1

If you've already asked her, it might be better to keep her just to lessen the drama. If it gets to the point where you arent talking or are fighting more than talking, tell her you've decided that since you can't get along you shouldn't have her in your wedding.

Answer 2

Whether it is "any of your business" or not, she should not have reacted in the manner that she did, if she is as short tempered as you say then I would really start thinking about if she should be in the wedding as a Maid of Honor. This is YOUR day not hers and if you wanted something that she doesn't agree with, then whose to say that she won't fly off the handle the way she has already shown you. Maybe you should demote her and choose another person for your Maid of Honor. Another thing is that if she's too busy with her boyfriend to be there for you, as this is your time and anything the MOH can do to take some stress away from you, she should do, not add more stress to you like she's doing. Maybe you could just sit down and talk with you since you are close and tell her your feelings on this and what you may or may not have to do about this situation. Either way I wish you the best of luck and Congratulations on your big day!!!

Answer 3

You obviously treasure the relationship you have with your cousin and I doubt you want to severe or strain that connection so I suggest you accept her choices ~ which does not mean you understand them ~ and focus on your wedding day and what that means to you. You want to share this special day with your cousin and surely that needs to be the overriding factor as opposed to any debate over her choices, your choices.

Please do not damage this relationship, it is too precious and you do not want to wake up one day and wonder what happened between the two of you. Your cousin may one day come to you needing a shoulder to cry on because this man is no longer a part of her life and I am thinking you want her to have you as an option when/if that time comes.

And remember, nothing you can do about your cousin's temper except point out any inappropriate behaviour if necessary. None of us are responsible for another's behaviour, action, reaction.

Answer 4

sounds like you need to kick her to just a brides maid, cuz the maid of honor is the one who is going to be planning al your stuff for you and is more than likely going to want to do it her way and will prob get mad if she cant have it her way. and thats just going to stress you out way more and she might get into it with your other bridesmaids as well. i would just stay out of her business and let her figure it all out by herself shes only going to be hurting herself again with this guy and stress you out at the same time. i would demote her though just to save you all the stress of everything. i had the same prob in a way and all by girls got into a big fight and i had to threaten them to either get along or get out, they only got along just because of that but by the end of the wedding there was a major fight between 2 of them and one of them was really short tempered. so either get ride of her alll together which i know you dont want to do or just have her move down a coouple of places.

Answer 5

the whole thing is coming from the fact that you don't like her man. you have told her this, now leave it alone. you can tell people until you are blue in the face why they shouldn't be with someone, but they have to learn for themselves. if you don't care to be around him. make that clear to her. if she can't understand that, then that's on her and i would think about trying to find another maid of honor.

Answer 6

Focus on your plans with your wedding.If that is your best cousin then don't let the man come between your relationship.If he is no good for her then she will eventually find out. This is a good lesson for you to learn from your cousin" keep your relationship problems to yourself and you wouldn't have to worry about other people's opinions."Don't replace her just yet!Congrats!!!