I want to thank everyone for all their kind words...?

Question

I wasn't sure I wanted to check my "announcement" about Russell's death this morning, but I'm glad that I did. I want to thank you all for everything that you said. As much as anything could make me feel better at this point, it did.

I know that we all get a little tense sometimes over religious differences and I'm more guilty of that than anyone else. I think, after all this, that *everyone* here is a good person when it really matters - you don't get 70+ notes of empathy from a board full of bad people. I think, more than anything else, that being a nice person is the most important thing that we can do with our lives, and as such I feel like all of you are wonderful, beautiful people.

I welcome any and all thoughts and prayers (to any deity) and emails that anyone is willing to offer. I still feel very lost, alone, empty, sad, angry, guilty, and pained, which I'm told by the Grief hotline people is "normal". I'm glad for that, I guess, but it doesn't make it feel any better.

I should probably ask a question, so I'll rephrase slightly to say, "Will you please keep me in your thoughts and / or prayers?"

And I would also like to thank everyone for not reporting my technically non-question this morning. It really helped to be able to hear other perspectives on this, and I appreciate all the people who shared their own experiences. Thank you.

Answer 1

I know how you fell and i will be praying for you.

Answer 2

Thats a very good sentiment we could use more people like you in the world. I felt bad about my friend dieing even though I know he is gone on to better things. The last thing he said to me was "Hey, man you ain't got time to talk to nobody." he died the following day of a lung infection relating to broken ribs. I don't know I was sad for awhile but I know in my heart he was a good person and that he went on to a better place and if your friend can make you feel as you do they diffently didn't not go to a bad place at all. Just know that the sun will rise tommorrow and that death no matter how much it sucks and takes all the good people from us so to does it take the bad. and as one thing goes another rises up in its place just make sure you do your best for your friends sake that you spread the goodness and make sure that a good person doesn't get replaced with a bad one. but mostly look at all the good things around you and all the life and things that are good about life and know these bad feelings you have will pass but always keep your friend in your heart though. Just remember to spread the good word about your friend. Unfortunatly life does go on even though their gone. and a most sad riddle this game of life is I guess thats why religion is good for some they need it to be able to believe there is a light at the end of this long dark tunnel that the living walk. If you feel the need to cry for your friend let it out holding it in will only hurt all the more.

Answer 3

I am so sorry to hear this, and i feel your pain. I lost my son and my first love, you may mail me anytime day or night and i will be here for you. I am sorry for your loss, you are just wonderful, and courageous. Thank you for sharing your pain with us all.

You are always and will always be in my thoughts and prayers. You are a treasure.. Love is love and you are a sister, I treasure all sisters. I am just so feeling your pain right now. I wish I could give you a big hug. However, know you are never alone, I am here for you if ever you should need me.
Blessings be upon you in your time of grief.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 4

k.
it is possible to feel joy. it is deep and underlying all. do not give up hope on that. It is a pity you could not attend the funeral. perhaps a small memorial service in your own country? It helps. Also, I know that you probably don't believe it, but pray 27 days for his soul, and at the end of it, you will have peace. (I know a lot of traditions say 40 days, but 27 is 3 novenas.) I usually say the rosary. I'm not sure what a Wiccan does. But I did this when I lost someone who had once been close to me, yet we had grown apart, and I felt so close to her at the end of it, I was weeping with joy.

Answer 5

I just read your question from this morning so that I could find out more about the situation. I cannot express in simple words how my heart goes out to you. I have lost loved ones before, and I can tell you that the pain will subside in time. I hope that the following advice will help you:

1. Try not to focus on the loss of him, but celebrate the time you spent together and his life as a whole.
2. Cry whenever you feel like it. There is no shame in this, and crying will help the grieving process.
3. Go out with friends as much as you can stand to go out. Being alone is fine for a little while, but if you stay hidden for too long, you will trap yourself in despair. Your friends love you and will want to be there for you.
4. Force yourself to smile as often as you can. It will take some time, but after awhile, you won't have to force it.
5. Stay in touch with his family if they were close to him. You will have a great deal in common with them, and you can be a shoulder for them to lean on and vice-versa.
6. Understand and try to accept that you will never truly get over this. You will heal, but you will never forget.
7. Take care of yourself. Don't retreat into depression (I know that is hard to do, but try).
8. Don't rush the process. Healing has no timetable, so take each step as you are prepared to do so.
9. He knew you love him. Keep him in your heart, and you will never truly lose him.

I hope to hear from you again soon, and I hope we get to help you through this time. I don't know you personally, but I love you anyways. Take care of yourself.

Answer 6

You have been in my thoughts and prayers all day. I feel deeply saddened.
We all may not believe in the same things, I'm a Muslim, ur a Wiccan, but when something like this happens, it brings everyone together.
You will get through this, be strong. We never forget the ones we love, they will always live on in our hearts.
Take care honey.

Answer 7

Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry for your lost.
I hope you find comfort and strength through you family, friends, and all of us here.
You are strong enough in my eyes, though; being able to keep kindness when you've been hurt so deeply. You're beautiful.
Know that true comfort comes only from closure; so if you want to cry, sweetie, you go ahead and cry.

I will pray for you darling.

Answer 8

So sorry to hear of Russell's death. May God comfort you during your mourning period.

I will be glad and rejoice in your mercy and steadfast love: for you have considered my troubles; you have known my life's distresses-- Psalm 31:7

Answer 9

when a loved one leaves us, it feels like we have a belly full of heavy sharp stones , every movement even thoughts make the stones cut into us.Over time ,the stones will rub together and the sharp points wont pierce you anymore giving you more strength to carry their weight alone you are in my prayers be ye blessed blessed ye be

Answer 10

I'm sending you a constant flow of positive energy. You are a wonderful being.

I'm glad you added the question at the end. Robots can't make exceptions, you know?

Answer 11

I am sorry to hear about your lost and want you to know that I will be praying that God gives you strength and carry you during your time of grief. Okay take care and the Lord Jesus Christ loves you.