My daugther is 4 and his is 8 and the try to play together and they do good for short periods of time, but the rest of the time the only thing they do is fight. We have tried to take them to places so they can share activities but nothing seems to work and I'm afraid that this is gonna affect my relationship with my boyfriend. I need some advice.
2007-05-30 14:51:35 · 9 answers · asked by Blazer Girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dump the boyfriend.
For god's sake, lady. You have a daughter to raise and protect. Stop dating and do your job.
2007-05-30 14:58:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is no easy way to answer this...
Trying to force the girls to be friends will only cause trouble in the end, because when they are older one or both may suddenly let out their anger at you, which could seriously mess up your relationship with your daughter.
So, you may want to try something else. This is not guaranteed to work, but it may help the girls develop a relationship on their own. Talk to your boyfriend and discuss the activities and subjects that the girls enjoy. Perhaps you will come across something that they both like to do.
Keep the girls separate for a while, and then slowly bring them back together, doing these activities they both enjoy. Over time, they may learn to get along.
However, I hate to say this, but if they really dislike each other, there isn't much you can do. The age difference is not exactly ideal, because either one may be trying to be the constant leader, which could explain why they argue a lot.
I wish you the best of luck with this!
2007-05-30 15:01:58 · answer #2 · answered by nmb1lotrfreak 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, how is your daughter's relationship with the boyfriend. Perhaps she is angry that this man is obviously not her real father, and wondering where her real father is, and she is using his daughter as an outlet for her rebellion. Sit her down and say something like, "I know you're not getting along with [boyfriend's name]'s daughter, and I want to know, are you upset over the fact that [boyfriend's name] is not your real Daddy? If the biological father is not in the picture, "Would you like to spend more time with your real Daddy?" If she answers yes to both questions, and you're really devoted to your boyfriend, you need to have him reassure her that he'll be the best father he can be to your daughter. If she has no knowledge of her biological father, and you feel that she's not ready to know her biological father yet, assure her that when you believe it will be time for her, you will give a chancve to meet het father, but for right now, could she give the boyfriend AND his daughter a chance to bond with her. I believe the relationship will improve from there. Good luck.
2007-05-30 17:01:17 · answer #3 · answered by Sharon Newman (YR) Must Die 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids will affect the relationship. Obviously deep down the issue is that mom and dad are spending time with somebody else. It is unnatural for a child to feel comfortable in that kind of situation. I would say to let your children know that you love them and no matter what they are number one in your life. Try to talk to the child and really understand their heart. After expressing your feelings if the behavior continues, let them know that they are acting inappropriately and that their behavior will have consequences. Don't let them use it as leverage.
2007-05-30 14:56:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it some time. I'm sure they will learn to love one another!All children fight. Don't take it too personal. She may be jealous. Make sure you have your special time with her. Make sure you keep an open relationship with your Boyfriend. If it was made to be, it will all work out! The more you stress on it, the more the children will fight.
2007-05-30 15:04:51 · answer #5 · answered by kaylaandcam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably one of the reasons that they fight is because of their age differences. 4 year olds are usually very self-centered. And you can't expect and 8 year old to be too enthusiatic about playing with a 4 year old. They are in two different developmental stages. I believe that you are being too unrealistic about things.
2007-05-30 14:58:42 · answer #6 · answered by Locsntraining L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try 2 c wat her prob is w/ her,c if its cuz its not her real dads daughter or it just that u a have a boyfriend and c doesn't like him so she takes it out on the daughter since she cn't take it out on him cuz u luv him
2007-05-30 14:55:20 · answer #7 · answered by Brittany B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is just that, your daughter. If you don't screw it up, she will depend on you for a while! Afterwords, you may depend on her. I don't know your situation, you didn't provide it, so I would go with your Daughter's instinct.
2007-05-30 15:01:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing. if your daughter doesn't like him she's just gonna hate you if you try to get them together.
2007-05-30 14:54:20 · answer #9 · answered by Robin P. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋