I'm currently separated from my hubby, and met someone a few months ago. Although I love my husband, I feel that I love this other man too. I'm extremely confused, and it has been tearing me apart. The new man has sensed that I'm not fully committed to him, and now does not want to be with me. He thinks that I'm holding back. It's hard though, because I still love my hubby, and I don't want to hurt him with that fact. I feel that I love them both. Is that possible?
2007-05-30 12:19:43 · 5 answers · asked by Jay-S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It all depends on how you define "Love"...
Most people like to throw the word love around so casually, that it loses all meaning. For example:
"I love spending time with you"
"I love it when they give me lots of extra pepperoni on my pizza slice"
"I love shopping!"
True love can only exist for ONE person - you can have feelings (even very strong ones) for multiple people, but you can only really love one.
In your situation - you still have feelings for your ex-husband (which is natural - just think of all the things the two of you did over the years), and you are falling in love (but not there yet) with this new guy.
Let your new guy know that you don't want to rush things - after all, the idea of marriage is that the two of you will spend THE REST OF YOUR LIVES together. So what's a few extra months in the greater scheme of things?
2007-05-30 12:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by kr_toronto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know of your limitiation but my heart and my love know no boundries and I can love as many people as I wanted ad infinitum. The problem for me would be time, I can only be with, support, care for and give my devoted time to so many people. Now love is love, so how can a mother love her mother, her children and her husband and possibly siblings but not have enough love for just 2 men or vis versa. Youll undoubtedly say those are different, and mayhaps for you they are but when I strip away all the other emotions love just feels like love to me no matter who its directed at. Now I have an entirely different relationship and compiliation of feeligns for my wife then I do for my sister, mother or close lady freinds. So to answer an indirect question for if I could be devoted as a husband to two woman, well that comes down alot to how much needs those woman have. Some woman dont want or need thier man 24/7, and thus leave him plenty of room for other expressions of his time, and if he chose that time to be emotionally close and supportive to another person, man or woman, I dont see that as any worse then spending teh same time drooling at the T.V. Undoubtedly many will disagree. Though this again all depends on the maturity, honesty and intentions of all involved.
2016-05-17 07:48:12 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously.....
Why did u get hooked up w/ ur hubby in the first place? Is it because u loved him, right? So, it that not enough? Did he do anything to make u feel less important? If the relationship can be fixed then give it a go. By bringing in another person in a relationship, it complicates everything. Not only you are not being true to ur hubby and you are also hurting him. And you say, u dont want to hurt him...really... How would u feel if ur hubby did wat ur doing now? Will u be smiling?
Ive been in that situation and I was the bf. It degrades the relationship especially if you prolong it. You get urself in deeper and deeper situation. Its not healthy. Overtime ur hubby will get tired of wat you're doing.
Its sad cuz later on u will realize who really is important to you and its too late...Remember, ur hubby was there for you before this guy came along....
2007-05-30 12:33:18 · answer #3 · answered by John D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are single, and if you love 2 people, leave them both.
If you are married, and if you love 2 people, stay married and dump the other - or leave them both.
Otherwise, if you are single, then you will always think "Gee, maybe I should be with the other guy" Whereas if you leave them both, then you can start your life fresh and new and less stress.
2007-05-30 12:27:29 · answer #4 · answered by proofofignorance 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no it is not normal that but just follow your hart
2007-05-30 12:28:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋