Christians: Love?

Question

I am a young man in the Assembly of God org. I met a girl in my new church, and I have been hurt before. I am almost 17, shes almost 16....anyway we have been dating for some time now and this doesnt feel like anything Ive so callislcly called love before, All I care about is her being happy, and what she gets out of the relationship as opposed to what I get, She is the most beautiful girl in the world inside and out. I prayed to God and I never seem to have doubt about us or feel its against Gods approval for us to be together. I havent dropped the L word yet, for some reason Im more nervous around her than any other girl before and I always pray for her soul to be uplifted, we have a similar calling on our life and we ALWAYS try to keep God first...what do you think? Am I in love?

Answer 1

Whoa...slow down there.

When people first fall "in love" there is a hormonal response that causes them to like everything about one another. One to three years later this hormone stops working, and it's then that people start realizing their true differences--it's then that people can truly see if they love one another.

Know that LOVE isn't a feeling! It's an action. And you seem to have nice actions that are showing it, but if you want to settle down I'd suggest taking it slow and not getting hitched until 2 or 3 years of dating. Most marriages fail because people figure out "hey, we're in love!" and marriage right away. Then they figure out, hey, I don't feel the same. The problem is twofold: they don't know their spouse well enough, and they don't know what true love is. True love isn't a feeling: it's an action, for actions show feelings.

Just know that when God has ordained a marriage, it is a method to worship Him in, and it's not something casual. Trust in Him and pray to Him all the time, and you will see if this works. If so, I'd say yeah, you're in love. Just remember: divorce is a no-no in the Bible, excepting in special circumstances. So, when you start getting into "she's so great" moods just think to yourself: is this someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, no matter what happens?

If the answer is yes, then it's love. Whether you should act on it with getting on your knees and presenting a ring depends on how compatable you are in your lives.

Answer 2

You are still really young. Even if you do love her, it might not work out for one reason or another. I would recommend you guys take it easy. Rarely do relationships last from 16 to marriage age. Think about it. Who do you know that dated someone at 16 and ended up getting married. Sure it can happen, but it is few and far between. I would say at that age, and at that maturity level, you are setting yourself up to get hurt. Stay friends, go on group dates if you want, but stay away from the hot and heavy emotional relationship. I always tell people high school relationships are pretty much a waste of time. It might be hard to hear when you really like a girl though. Anyways, just keep that in mind.

Answer 3

Here's a simple test for you:
When you think about her, are you more focused on how she makes you feel or on how you intend to take care of her?

If the majority of your attention goes to your feelings, you are infatuated and do not yet love her. Love is something which matures over time and is the result of a long series of decisions to put her and her best interests ahead of your own; it is self-sacrificial. An inordinate focus on how beautiful she is would indicate infatuation, as would the constant nervousness. Nervousness is the result of some sort of fear of rejection, which is about you not her.

Give it some careful thought - maybe you love her - but more likely you are in love with love.

Here's an online quiz you can look at - see if it helps.

http://content.silaspartners.com/101/30844/101_30844_LoveTest.Love_Test.pdf

Tom

Answer 4

Well, could be the start of a beautiful relationship. But you are still young. Take it one step at a time and really get to know each other.

She just might be the one God has chosen for you as a life partner and vice versa.

Answer 5

I think you're in like... true mature love doesn't happen at your age unfortunately, it takes being mature and seeing the ugly sides of the ones you love, and sticking with them through thick and thin. But I'm sure you can have a sweet relationship with much meaning in God. Be good and be true and be blessed.

Answer 6

Ahhhhh....it's refreshing to see your question. It brings me back in time. You have a long life to live....I don't know what "some time" is but love is definitely a feeling and you'll have to answer that one yourself. What about when you guys go off to college...will you stay in touch, go to the same school. What are both of your immediate plans after high school. It's much harder, but possible, to have a long distance relationship. I wish you well...good luck.

Peace, Love, and Blessings
Greenwood

Answer 7

Sounds like the real thing to me. Perhaps you are cautious about using the word "love" because you know that she will indeed take it seriously, and that it would practically be a proposal of marriage. But it really does sound like you've got yourself a "pearl beyond price" there, and you'd better not let her get away.

Answer 8

It certainly sounds like it to me. And I think you are both very wise to always keep God first. I'll be praying for you both-God Bless You.

Answer 9

If you're asking about the emotion of love, then you are probably feeling that for her. You want her, which is lust. If you want her to be happy, then that's feeling love. If you give to her selflessly of yourself, then you love her.

I hope you will tell her how you feel and that it works out.

Answer 10

What does your relationship with your girlfriend have anything to do with religion and spirituality? Try the dating and relationships section.