Hi, I'm a 20 yo guy who's never asked a girl out, ever. I was born with a heart defect and I had to have many surgeries to stay alive and now I have horrible scars on my chest & back. Plus my doctors have told me I'll have to have more surgery in the future, which means more scars. I cant get any confidence. I know that the kind of beautiful girls I'm attracted to wouldn't go for me because of my ugly body (due to my scars) and the fact that I'm weird because I'm 20 and have no experience. Am I a freak? Am I hopeless? I dont know how to start, or if I'll be alone forever. I'm very shy and I feel like my illness makes me not normal and has separated me from everyone. Should I give up? Should I settle to be with a girl I'm not attracted to and just count myself lucky to be with anyone?
2007-05-30 11:16:56 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dude, beautiful girls and guys with those perfect bodies have such superficial personalities.
Its whats inside that counts.
Believe me, there will be a girl out there who one day will light up your world. She might not be gorgeous, but you will think that she is. You just need to try to stop putting yourself down. Scars are scars, they're no big deal. I have a very close friend who has a gigantic scar on his back because he had a kidney removed when he was 7. This does not at all deter women from him. He has had loads of girlfriends and his current one is just the prettiest little thing, and he's not all that good looking as far as I'm concerned. He's just got a lovely personality and thats what the nice girls go for.
Your illness really doesnt matter. Its just a part of your identity. I myself am going blind because I have glaucoma, but I have a boyfriend. I'm not attractive (well I dont think so) but my b/f thinks I am and thats all that matters.
If I were you I'd just try asking girls out as friends, see if they wanna go to a movie or something. Just get used to the dating game and have fun. Eventually you'll get the hang of it, and your scars wont be an issue at all.
Good luck. Hope everything works out for you x
2007-05-30 22:07:33 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what you do. First talk to a woman any woman will do. Second ask for her number there will be yes and some no's. Call the woman up now this is the vital part spend sometime trying to get to know her as a person. Don't be afraid we are all just people. The best way to get to know a person is to ask a lot of questions about them no matter how stupid they may sound theres no such thing as a stupid question. Once you get to know them some ask them out doesn't have to be anywhere special to a beach or on a long walk at night to a nearby park. Talk some more then look her in the eye and ask for a kiss she will say yes move in slowly and began kiss slowly let her lead in speed if she goes to fast to quickly she can not kiss. If she starts slowly and gains speed than began to explore her body don't get crazy start with her leg and move whereever you feel lead. Get at me if you require more help.
2016-04-01 05:37:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scars will probably make the girl feel more protective of you. She'll go, "Oh, you poor guy!"
Just begin by telling a girl you feel attracted to that you like her hair or her eyes. Next time you can ask her if she'd like to go for coffee (or sandwich). Or walk her to the corner or to class.
Much, much later - when it gets to the put-hands-under-clothes stage, then you can tell her you have a lot of scars due to surgery.
2007-05-30 11:26:04 · answer #3 · answered by Tina Goody-Two-Shoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have scars on my body that are in places that you can only see if I show you. Usually when I show them to the guys that I date, they are intrigued to know how I got them. So far, all of them have been understanding. You will meet a woman who will see past your scars. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Don't settle for just anyone. Settle for someone that you love.
2007-05-30 11:21:46 · answer #4 · answered by ..... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I THINK YOU ARE GOING AT THIS ALL WRONG. YOU ARE NOT A FREAK BECAUSE YOU HAVE SCARS FROM SOMETHING YOU COULDNT WHEN YOU WERE BORN. SOUNDS LIKE THE GIRLS THAT YOU ARE AFTER DONT DESERVE YOU. JUST KEEP LOOKING THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR YOU.
2007-05-30 11:58:17 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen ..it's not about being with beautiful girls or ugly girls...it's about being with someone who really cares about you and accepts you as you are ..we all have defaults(physical or in our caracter)..we all should accept ourselves the way we are ..just go out there with your buddies and meet girls ..go and talk to them don't feel ashamed ..you are normal ...and be hopeful everything is gonna be alright ..look for te girl whose personnality is like you ..not the pretty one ..
2007-05-30 11:24:31 · answer #6 · answered by ^^ANGEL^^ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just wait for the right time
2007-05-30 11:19:15 · answer #7 · answered by sexymama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋