can you please answer this!!!!!!please please please?

Question

okay well i had a bad child hood and currently in the present i have alot to worry about now i write depressing poems i like my hair in my face and i feel like cutting my self and i do that sometimes also i puch walls till my fist get brused i do that cuz when if i cut myself my grandma would mad so i punch the walls also i feel really low sad and depressed and i have sensitive feelings my self confidence is low and my grandma says oh teenagers go through that but no i've be depressed for a longggg time now but to others i seem happy and hypered because i like to see people happy not worried about me ..but i just pretend to be happy..what do you think is wrong with me?almost alll personality test says i am emo... don't know what that is...but is that an animal?

i can't talk to no one i am afraid even with my closest people it feels like one can ever understand me and not even my closest people..i am depressed and feel very alone and helpless like a ripping paper except a ripping bleeding heart.(drip drip)

also no i had this depression since i was 2 years old..so no i just didn't get this cuz i am a teenager.

Answer 1

WARNING;;
Before you make that first cut, remember--
You will find the blood and pain release addictive.
Even though you think you can make a few tiny cuts that aren't deep and will heal easily--

You must stop Cutting yourself look at life with hope and positive thinking clean your pain with happiness not blood and tears there is a better day BUT YOU MUST CREATE THAT DAY ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT NO ONE ELSE, PLEASE STOP CUTTING YOURSELF, PLEASE



They will get deeper.
They will scar.
They will take sometimes months to heal.
And years for the scars to fade.
If you think you can limit the cutting to one area of your body think again.
It will spread when you run out of skin.
Be prepared to withdraw from others and live in a constant state of shame.
Even if you are the most honest person ever to live--
You will find yourself lying to the people you love.
You will jerk back from your friends when they touch you as if their hands were dipped in poison.
You will be terrified that they will feel something under the cloth of your shirt or because it just plain hurts so much to be touched.
Be prepared to get so out of control you fear your next cut because you don't know how bad it will be.
Just wait for 10 cuts to turn into 100.
Be prepared for your entire life to revolve around thinking about cutting--
Cutting and covering up cutting.
And just wait till that first time you cut "too deep."
And you freak out because the blood won't stop...
And you are gasping...
And you feel yourself shaking all over.
You are having a panic attack and you are terrified but you can`t tell anyone.
So you sit there alone...
Praying it will be okay--
Swearing you'll never let it go this far again...
But you will, and further....
Don't worry, you will learn how to take care of your cuts so that you can go deeper and deeper and avoid the ER.
And the better you get at treating your cuts,
The deeper they get.
You will lie to yourself and justify it when you find youself spending 20, 30, or 50 dollars every time you go the pharmacy.
You will feel the flutter of your heartbeat everytime you go to the counter to ring up your order.
Butterfly strips--
3 or 4 different kinds of dressings...
Betadine...
Antibiotic cream...
Medical tape...
Scar reducers...
You will tap your foot impatiently hoping the line will just move and noone will stare at you or wonder why you need all these things.
And at the same time secretly hope someone will notice--
Someone who is standing in line with an armful of the same supplies.
Someone who understands--
But of course that never happens.
Medical supplies won't be the only thing you spend all your money on.
Be prepared to buy a new wardrobe--
Longsleeve shirts in summer colors, bracelets, wristbands, boots...
The list goes on and on.
You will start looking at everyone in a different way.
Scanning their bodies for any signs of SI.
Just hoping that you might meet someone like you so you don't feel so terribly alone.
You wont even think about it,
As your eyes scan their wrists arms.
Hoping, just hoping they will be like you.
But they are not.
You will see their clean arms and feel terribly ashamed and alone.
You will start doing a lot of things alone.
You will always have to wash your laundry in private so no one sees the blood stains on your clothes and towels.
You will always be cleaning up the blood.
Scrubbing your bathroom floor.
Wiping the blood off your keyboard.
You won't be able to make it through a day without cutting.
Next thing you know you are in a public bathroom somewhere breaking open a scab with a sewing needle that you keep in your wallet for emergencies.
When you get really desperate,
Anything will be a cutting tool...
Scissors...a car key...a needle...a paperclip...even a pen.
Doesn't matter what it is if you need to cut bad enough you will find something.
Say goodbye to things you took for granted.
Like wearing shorts or sandals...pedicures...sleevele... tops.
A normal summer day at the beach or in a swimming pool will become a far off memory for you.
Get ready to itch.
Because you will itch and itch.
So much you will look like you have fleas or a skin disease.
You will become an expert on your body as you destroy it carefully.
You will dream about cutting.
You will dream about being exposed.
It will haunt you day and night and take over your life.
You will wish you never made that first cut because while you absolutely hate cutting--
At the same time you love it and can not live without

Answer 2

We really need to know about you, but on the surface its obvious you are depressed. You have taken a small step bringing the problem out in the open as it were on here. I think you need to do more though. You need professional help for sure, and thats can be a very humbling experience, actually admitting you need help. You write poems and cut yourself as a release of the way you feel, but I think now you have to change that way of release, you have to find another outlet, and that will be to go and seek help. Seriously, because it wont go away on its own, yoyu may have days when the dark cloud over you will briefly go away, but I bet you all the tea in China it will come back.
I feel for you, its not nice, and its very real how you feel right now, but there is always hope. Go seek help and dont delay!
I wish you all the best, and well done for sharing this with us on here.

Answer 3

You sound Emo, which is not a bad thing. Find others and share your experiences. If you find out that the Emo lifestyle isn't for you, find a bff to confide in. I know you don't want to hear it, but your grandmother is right, most teenagers go through it male and female. Some stay in it longer and become Emo. It's all just a phase though. But I would advise you to find other ways to express yourself besides bodily harm. Hell, i'm a 21 year old heterosexual male and I still write passion-filled poetry, it's how I get things off my chest.

Hope this helps.

Answer 4

I was really depressed as a teen also. I was suicidal and I felt like I should torture my self and did torture my self because god hated me and wanted me to be punished. I had strange ideas for being so young, it started when I was about 10. I was also easy to agitate, paranoid, felt full of hate, and had panic attacks in public, and couldn't go to sleep. I was totally dis functional I didn't even have a bad child hood. My parents didn't know or never understood and I thought it was just my personalty so I didn't get help until having my second child. I went crazy after having her and had to go to mental heath resources for coucleing and to be medicated. I'm diagnosed with bipolar. Even though I hate being medicated and despise this illness I have to admit that the medication dose help a lot with the suicidal feelings and anger issues. I suggest that you try to tell your grandmother that something is wrong and that there is help.

Answer 5

Emo means emotional. Your a depressed girl and you need to be put on meds or see a psychiatrist. When I was 12 years old my mother passed away and I went into depression and started cutting myself and started writing depressing poems too...I have them on a website, on allpoetry.com under the user name Broken x3 Hearted, look it up if you want and read the poems, I'm sure they are exactly how your feeling. I just went and saw a psychiatrist and talked about life and it really helped me out, also instead of cutting myself I switched to just listening to hard metal or angry music, writing poems or screaming in my pillow, I also went out and bought a punching bag, that calmed me down a lot too. If you want to talk more about it, you can message me. =] I hope this helped a little bit.

Answer 6

Research the psychiatrists in your area and make an appointment for as soon as you can. If you think you are in a highly fragile state, go to an emergency room.

I'm not sure whether your question was intended to be a serious request for help, but I do know one thing: you should be seen by a mental health professional as soon as possible.

Best wishes.

Answer 7

You have had bad experiences that have hurt you. What specifically were they? You should write it all down, in a journal; write your own autobiography, like Oprah did...I don't mean publish it or anything, I mean write it for your own personal need...to understand yourself, where you have come from.
As for the suicide tries, it is a cry for help. You need someone you can communicate with, tell your feelings to, without fear of judgment or rejection. You have a lot of hurt feelings, and probably, some anger.

Answer 8

While most people DO go through something similar to this during adolescence, it's not always normal. My suggestion would be to trust in a teacher or guidance counselor at your school if your grandmother doesn't seem to want to help. Don't pretend to be anything. You need to be yourself, and if that self needs a little help, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Answer 9

Wow! Have you ever visible that film referred to as, " He's simply no longer that into you"?? This man is main you on. I recognize that this wasn't your query but it surely used to be handy that you just gave the main points you probably did. If this man used to be gonna be valued at some time he could take the time to textual content you again now and again ( that means he could be the only to "begin" the dialog). He had a female friend and what used to be unsuitable with him asking you to be his females? Another factor why did he inform her you had been demanding him!! Come on!! Look for a few one that's gonna be amusing to move with and simply recognize this......in case your making all of the attempt ,then do not you feel it is one sided? And, if it is one sided then that suggests your manner too in to HiM!! A man will have to wish to provide you his time and isn't gonna "cover" and play video games if he likes you.

Answer 10

emo stands for emotional. not only emotional, but overemotional. like dramatic. like cut my wrists type of thing. impulsive. theyre strange people. i wouldnt say your personality tests are accurate. i dont know you, so i cant accurately judge you, but i would just say that you've been through a lot and...you need to help yourself. it's hard to explain. sure, you could get professional help, but you really just need to overcome. get close to some girls so you got someone to talk to. and once you are where you want to be with your confidence, you can add the guys. go out. have fun. or try. dont let your past haunt you. accept it. and do what you can to be happy anyways.