Ordering etiquette?

Question

When you are in line to order something... coffee, food, etc. and you order, and then the next person in line starts to order by barking the items they want, without prefacing with a "may i have..." "I'd like..." "can i get..." or even a "hi," does it make you want to add a "please" for them when they're done??? I want to say please for them so badly but I haven't yet... some people are just so rude. I have been on the other side of the counter and would never say that if I was the employee, but in situations when I am just another customer there I want to say it.... should I?

I wasn't meaning it as a way of picking up slack... I'm not the timid type... While I would never say it for a 200 lb biker, I'm not afraid of a dirty look or snort from a middle aged houswife.

Answer 1

You can, but you risk the person turning around to you and making a scene.
If you really just want to make a point, then that will do it, otherwise you can wait till that person leaves and tell the person you are ordering from "here is an extra please and thank you for that last person". They will appreciate it!

Answer 2

If it's really rude, you can call someone out on it. Watch yourself though--you don't want to be even ruder in the way you call them out for it. The pet peeve I call people out for is cutting in line--some people will take advantage of a little chaos to push in front of people. (Note: this has led to a confrontation that could have got physical one time--so watch yourself.) By the way, I'm bad about saying please but always say thank you when the order has been placed.

Some of how you talk to someone depends on the situation and location. Some places may be pretty busy--but I guess it's never too busy for a complete sentence. In the city, I've found that often people want to get to the point and not waste time on small talk. Then there was another time I went into a Arby's in a rural country area and was second in line, and it took the guy at the counter more than three minutes to take the first guy's order and finish chit-chatting. I was starting to get pissed that he couldn't interrupt his conversation to find out what I wanted and then go back to it, but since I was on vacation I didn't let it bother me. Then it was my turn, and he took the same kind of time with me, finding out where I was going and from and such--and I had never met him. Different kinds of service are appropriate at different places--in the city, I'd never have a conversation with a fast food clerk--they'd probably start trying to end our chat if I did, but in the country it just seemed appropriate and nice to slow down and talk to a stranger.

Answer 3

Hey girl, I feel the same a lot of times. I think a lot of times in life the best way to lead is by example. Just keeping being your polite, kind self and it will help the folks behind the counter get through the day knowing someone out there cares. I'd probably avoid confronting the belligerent customer just to play it safe. One way to help everyone improve their behavior is to write to forums like this and newspaper advice columnists. The more discussion and consciousness there is about what is and isn't acceptable behavior, the more considerate people might become. Sometimes people aren't even aware how much they are hurting someone else's feelings until they read it somewhere or a friend brings it to their attention, but coming from a stranger might put them on the defensive, negate the lesson and put you in harm's way. Good luck to you, and keep smiling :)

Answer 4

Well, I worked at a Jack-in-the-Box during and right after high school many years ago. Some people were polite, and some people were gruff. As long as they weren't abusive, I really didn't think one way or another.

I guess some people just figure your minimum-wage salary is your compensation for serving them. A few people enjoy ordering around service employees, but most of the time I don't think that's why some people were gruff with me.

Answer 5

No you should never apologize for someones rudness unless you know them. Being extra nice to the counter person could hopefully set a good example for the person next in line behind you.

Answer 6

personally I never say it to the person, I usually make a joke of it when they're gone to the person working there. But i also point rudeness out when people don't thank me for holding the door for them. Like when I'm holding it open so someone can use their own hand to help, I wasn't holding it open so they could just walk by and say nothing, I tend to throw in a "your welcome your highness!" just to show them they were being rude.

Answer 7

You could try it, but chances are they will say something rude to you...you could try smiling and saying to the employee "i'm sure he meant to say please" That way the employee would at least know you were on their side a little, and if the person in front is really nice, they might smile and say something. if not, they probably are just rude. either way, i'd say you have nothing to lose.

Answer 8

If I were that person, I would feel like saying "please" for me would be rude, as well. I can't stand rude people, but people can be particularly stressed or in a hurry every once in a while. Let people have their moments. Is it really that bothersome to you if the person is simply rude instead of being mean?

Answer 9

I always correct them if i feel the impulse because i did food service for 3 years in high school and i know how much it can suck to have rude poeple flow by unwittingly. Do what feels right.

Answer 10

You can try it, but be prepared for a rude reaction that may or may not come. Recently I (female) held a door for a guy. He wasn't carrying anything, just I already had hold of the door. He walked by me without saying thanks or anything. I said loud enough for him to hear "Your welcome" He turned and looked and kept on going, but at least he knew it was his manners that needed checked.