I bet no one can make me laugh?

Question

I' ve had a bad day i need to laugh

v2r1 why so harsh

I was right no one so far has made me laugh once

evan made me snicker

isabella why so harsh

Answer 1

one night there was a baby sitter baby sitting three children. it was about 7 o'clock and the parents wouldn't be home for another 3 hours. she herd the phone ring.when she answered it she herd a male voice say "i am da viper i vill be dere soon" then he hung up. she thought that was weird and then went and watched TV. she herd the phone ring and when she answered it she herd "i am da viper i vill be dere soon". she was getting creeped out now but she went back to the tv. a few minutes later she herd the phone ring and when she answered it she herd a male voice say "i am da viper i vill be dere soon". she was very scared now so she called the police. a few minutes later she herd a knock on the door. she answered it and saw a short man that said "i am da viper, i have come to vipe your vindows". lol. hope you like it!


p.s. i hope you have a good day and i agree, why so harsh?!?

Answer 2

OK but maybe you'll like this joke:
A man strolls into a small town and sees a cowboy standing outside a shop beside a horse with a sign hanging around the horses neck, the sign says: I'll give you all the money I have if you can make this horse laugh!
The drifter then looks at the cowboy and tells him"I can make that horse laugh"
The cowboy then says"Ok, give it a shot, but there ain't been no laughter in this here horse in years."
The drifter then reaches up and whispers something in the horses ear. The horse didn't move for a second, but then burst into laughter. The cowboy asked the drifter what he told the horse to make him laugh, but the drifter replied "A man don't tell his secrets" The cowboy gave him all the money he had, and the drifter left.
A few days later the same drifter comes back to town to see the same cowboy with the same horse standing outside the same shop, only this time the sign around his neck is different. It says: I"ll give you all the money I have if you can make my horse cry
The horse was still laughing, tears and everything.
The drifter tells the cowboy "I can make that horse cry, but I'm gonna have to take him around the back of the building."
The cowboy agrees. A few minutes later the drifter comes back with the horse and the horse in tears.The cowboy asks "how'd ya do it?"
The drifter then decides to tell the cowboy.
"First I told him that my pecker was bigger than his , and then I showed him."

Answer 3

Here's a joke sure to make you chuckle:
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.
"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked.
He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write "spaghetti" on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by, and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the hospital emergency room. The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest.
So the wife picked up the card and read: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs; two without."

Answer 4

If you think life is bad... How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys. But worst of all. The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother. So cheer up... Your life ain't that bad!

Answer 5

some may be typing mistake loughing some may be due to poor in spelling patner some may be poor knowledge you can come to my house at any time some may be so innocent and not know the exact meaning - when you go out you should not wear jean some may be poor in words you should know ramayana and mahabharatha does it mean that if he simply knows the name or know the full story or doing a thesis of research in these two epics i wonder

Answer 6

Pointing my finger at you, wiggling it a little and going

Gitchee Gitchee Gitchee!!

Works on the kids everytime....

Answer 7

not funny at all?try the environmental section,that may make you laugh.People trying to save Our earth,alone.We need to do all we can,everyone of us...

Answer 8

Sixty-Eight Fun Things to do in Walmart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3.Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee (preferrebly a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms

9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy"

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this ****, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. 18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

46. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

47. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

53. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.

54. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

55. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

56. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

57. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."

58. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

59. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

60.When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

61.Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

62.Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

63.Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

64. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

65. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

66. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

67. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

68. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it!

Answer 9

its not funny sorry

Answer 10

ok i won't