My boyfriend and I have been together for about 1.5 years. He's the best boyfriend I've had in some ways and the worst in other ways. He's always respectful, never calls me names or curses at me, even when we argue. He pays for everything, opens doors and caters to me all the time. He gives me space when I need it and he's extremely understanding. He's a gentleman in almost every way and he loves me very much. He sounds like a dream man to have but...occasionally, he's cheated. I'm so confused. I've had boyfriends who have never cheated but treated me like crap in almost every other way.
My question is, is there an explanation for that kind of behavior? Any at all? Treats me with the utmost respect...wants to kill anyone who hurts or upsets me...wants to give me the world and start a life together, can provide a good and stable life for me...but has cheated and of course it's possible he will cheat again.
Is it worth it? Has anyone here experienced this?
2007-05-30 07:43:38 · 20 answers · asked by Me baby Me 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Actually, I have experienced this. I'm not suggesting that you do this, but in my case i just invited other girls into the relationship, which worked out great. It even brought us close together, but that's not for everyone. The only thing i can say besides that is that you have to take the good with the bad "at least until something better comes along!"
2007-05-30 07:49:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't want to give any direct advice but ask these questions.
1) Do you think he treats you so well because he cheats?
2) If he has already done it once do you think he will do it again?
3) Why, if for any reason would you not think you can find that same exact man, but one who won't cheat on you?
There are several factors for why I guy cheats but I think you have to look at why he did it, will he do it again, and very importantly who was it with?
No one can give you a definite answer but the lack of honesty just opens up Pandora's box, and there are lots of people who can provide all those things, it just takes the time to get to know them.
2007-05-30 14:49:54 · answer #2 · answered by kennethbyrd98 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
CHEATERS ...CHEAT.
If he's the "dream man"...he wouldn't cheat.
And if he cared so much about people hurting you...he wouldn't cheat.
At least the guys that treated you like crap, were being honest.
This kind of guy is the worst kind...because he's a jerk in disguise.
LEAVE HIM...
The explanation for that behavior is that he's selfish and knows that you have taken him back in the past...so why should he stop?
I dated a guy that treated me wonderfully, and told me I was beautiful and was so attentive and ....it turned out...he was that wonderful and attentive...with two other women while he was dating me...we women got together and exchanged voicemails and emails...and it turned out that he was feeding us all the EXACT same crap...almost word for word. Needless to say...we all dumped his @ss.
That was ten years ago...And since then...I have found a man who actually IS sweet and honest and wonderful
You're worth more than having to share your life with a cheater. Dump him and find someone that will love you...AND ONLY YOU.
2007-05-30 14:51:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're contradicting yourself when you say he treats you with the utmost respect, yet cheats on you. Thats not respect at all. If he feels he needs to go elsewhere for sex, send him packing. Honestly you should be thinking about weather or not you will end up catching something he picked up.
Some men just think of sex 24/7 they don't view sex as love like most women do. To them its just sex, a release nothing more. Most times they don't know or even like the woman they are with at that moment, its opportunity.
2007-05-30 15:03:39 · answer #4 · answered by Wiani i 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cheats and you call that respect? Do you have any self respect? Don't let a man continually treat you bad because he can provide a stable life for you. What's stable about someone who you know cheats and may cheat again?
The question isn't is he worth it, it's are you worth it? Think about it.....
2007-05-30 14:51:48 · answer #5 · answered by CR23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear - that would be the deal-breaker for me. I don;t care how great a boyfriend is in other ways, how nice is he really when ultimately he is hurting you and your relationship so much, at such a fundamental level?
Have you talked to him about this? And how often has he done this? (Once is too much, but still - it would help to know). And cheated how? Emotionally? Dated someone else? Sexually?
Still, cheating is cheating, and he has done it you say multiple times. That's no good. I really really think you deserve a boyfriend who is faithful to you - AND who treats you well otherwise.
2007-05-30 14:49:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people are more able to be monogamous than others. Quite honestly, I do not believe it is in human nature to be monogamous. I think a lot of people, your boyfriend included, give it the old college try, but can't seem to be faithful to one lover. In my opinion, there are a lot worse things one can do to their partner. If you can live with the fact that although you are committed, it is an open relationship and he will occassionally stray, then by all means, keep him.
2007-05-30 14:50:30 · answer #7 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His cheating may stem from a deeper problem. He seems like a pretty decent guy, one worth fighting for. I would suggest going to counseling to help him with his problem. Like people addicted to drugs, or alcohol, he might be addicted to cheating. If he loves you and is the great guy you think he is, talk to him about it. He should be willing to change to save your relationship. If he is not, he isn't the great guy you thought. But look on the bright side, it might work out for the best. If not with him, you'll find another out there even better. I hope it works out for you.
2007-05-30 14:49:52 · answer #8 · answered by Sirenbhd79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know -- there are men in this world who do all of the nice things he does, and who do not cheat. You do not deserve to be cheated on. If you stand for it now, it will only get worse. And even if he promises not to do it again, it is only because he got caught. He will do it again.
If he is cheating on you, then he does not really love you, and he is lying when he says he does. If you stay with him, then be prepared for any diseases he may pass on to you.
2007-05-30 14:49:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to find someone who respects you and still doesn't cheat on you. Trust me there are people like that out there. The more time you will spend with him, the more time you will loose which could have been spent looking for someone better.
2007-05-30 14:47:43 · answer #10 · answered by xxx 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋