Date him even though he smokes weed?

Question

So there's a guy that I really like, and we've been hanging out a lot lately, always holdin hands, kissin, ended up staying at our friends house and slept together... I know he really likes me, and I'm not just a booty call or anything, but my one hesitation is that he smokes weed. I said this was something I would never have in my life, but I don't know if I should count him out just because of it??? He smokes, like, everyday, but he still works 12 hrs a day, 7 days a week and owns his own business....I know I can't convince him to quit, because no one will quit for someone else, they have to want it. But, should I start dating him even tho he smokes and hope that he realizes down the road that he should quit, or should i just write him off completely?? If its just casual dating and nothing serious, is it ok? But don't move into anything serious unless he stops?? Any advice would be helpful! Thanks!!!

His mom died 2 years ago from cancer, and I think he’s still a little out of it from this, and I know a lot of his friends smoke, and he’s made the comment that he’s always just jittery and can’t sleep if he doesn’t smoke. Could this all change if he has a stable, good woman on his side **this woman would be me** that would help him get through all of the other stuff in his life rather than just getting high and avoiding everything??? Again, thanks for your help, I really appreciate it!!!

Answer 1

If your friend chooses to quit, the sleeplessness will disappear in a few days. Weed causes the condition and he will just have to endure the withdrawal from his addiction.

In answer to your question; be cautious of addictive personalities. They are rarely long-term good producers and addictions usually effect most of the people in their worlds. A man who cannot control his own urges will not be able to control anything else.

Its okay to like him, its even okay to sleep with him, but allowing your feelings to develop into anything more is asking for disapointment. Beware the concept of casual dating. Girls are very emotional and form strong attachments quite easily. Good luck

Answer 2

Sweety, I know how you feel. I was in the same position at one point and didn't know whether I could stay with him or not. You have to realize that if he smokes weed he's not going to quit. Especially if a lot of his friends smoke as well. He'll keep hanging out with them and he'll keep smoking with them. The guy who I was with, I don't even talk to him anymore.

You simply have to think this through. Are you willing to have a serious relationship with a smoker? From your question I gather that you don't. And the only way he's going to quit smoking is if he trully wants to do it himself and not because someone wants him to. It could be his own family telling him to quit and he more than likely won't. Not until he's ready and if he is every ready at all. If you take this further you'll be taking a risk and putting your trust in him to quit smoking somewhere down the line, but guess what. What will probably happen is you will start smoking yourself. I've seen it happen to other people who were completely against smoking and trying to get their partner to quit but ended up picking it up themselves. My advice to you would be to tread very lightly in this case. Personally I wouldn't take it any further and just stay friends at this point. And maybe somewhere down the line he'll end up quitting on his own. You never know. All the best

~*~firedhel~*~

Answer 3

Well, dude we find out at some point. A lot of young girls are, for lack of a better word, stupid, these days. They are arrogant to think they can smoke weed, drink, have tattoos all over them and a tongue piercing and their thongs hanging out and still command respect. Smoking weed, drinking, a girl that's mapped out, pierced in odd places--all clues, red flags and major turn-offs, at least for smart people. Many girls think they are being sexy and mysterious, or that they'll attract a bad boy (please) or that they're hard and edgy. Well, these types get what they want...and a few things they didn't want. This isn't a double standard either--guys that get drunk all the time, are mapped out, and think they're all hardcore are obnoxious. I met a young woman who said her husband (under the age of 30) couldn't enjoy the shrimp pasta she made because he had serious heart problems "maybe its all the booze he drinks" she says. And I guarantee you she knew before she married him he was a drunk--hell she probably met him at a party for Christ's sake. It's called common sense. If somebody's into pot, thinks getting s**tfaced is a hobby, how do they take life seriously, how are they capable of taking OTHERS seriously?

Answer 4

It's no big deal...I smoked pot for 24 years until I Finlay gave it up..What it took for me was getting married and having my son..I am totally successful in life. I have a great job that pays in the 6 digit range..I own a huge house, 3 cars, a boat and lots of other toys. I love my wife and she loves me...Every body is different, just because they smoke doesn't mean their lives are going to be ruined. Drinking is way worse of a drug...It is the most destructive drug and it is legal.. Don't believe all the myths about pot because they are simply not true. The only reason the government doesn't want you to smoke weed is that they don't get tax $ for it....They would rather you drink so they can tax the s**t Out of it and take your hard earned $....They would rather you go out and kill a family on the freeway or beat the S**T out of your wife than have you safe at home eating Oreo Cookies on the couch or raiding your fridge. They get no $ out of weed and that is why they say it is so wrong....

Answer 5

the issue here is you not him - you have a problem with "weed" - it is not a drug, it is not a "gateway", it is an herb.you have listened to the propaganda and not the facts.

the truth:
it is not possible to "overdose" on weed
smoking a joint a day can keep an emphysema patient off oxygen( by dilating the bronchial tubes the then take in more oxygen)
it relieves ocular pressure saving the eyesight of glaucoma patients
it has been shown tom slow the growth of certain types of cancer
it does not make people aggressive ( in fact it mellows ppl out and can turn a fight into a party)
it does not kill brain cells any faster than breathing air does
the only reason the government want it to remain illegal is because they profit from the "war on drugs" ( and the FDA will not even classify weed as a drug - they too say it is an herb)

Answer 6

YOU CANNOT CHANGE A MAN.
YOU CANNOT CHANGE A MAN.
YOU CANNOT CHANGE A MAN.
YOU CANNOT CHANGE A MAN.
YOU CANNOT CHANGE A MAN.
YOU CANNOT CHANGE A MAN.
YOU CANNOT CHANGE A MAN.

I don't care how much of a *good woman* you are. There are millions of us *good women* out there with a**holes for bfs.

That said, you should not be willing to compromise your morals for a relationship. If it isn't a moral/ethical thing for you, then go ahead and date him, just be clear from the get-go that you do not want him smoking around you.

Keep in mind, that marijuana does have physical effects, namely slow reaction time and gross motor skill delay.

Do you want someone who is high to drive you to the hospital when you are in labor?

Think long-term here. If you can keep it casual, so be it, but you've already slept with him. Since there is NO 100% way to prevent pregnancy and still be sexually active, there is always a chance that he could end up being the father of you child.

Answer 7

It's not a huge deal.

I married "him" ...even though he smokes weed...lol

We've been married 5 years now...and my hubby finally quit, for me and our son...so you never know...

It's not like he's shooting heroin...pot is not a HUGE deal.

It sounds like he's got his crap together and it's not impairing his ability to lead a productive life...don't hold it against him...

Frankly...pot is less damaging than half the prescription drugs that half of society is on...

Really...you could smoke weed and still be standing...

Try popping a xanex and staying awake...

So many people now adays are all high on "medecine" like...and they think it's ok because the doctor gave it to them...Pot is way less impairing or harmful than almost all of those drugs.

I don't smoke, and I married a pot smoker...not a big deal...

If he's as great as you say he is...I don't think smoking is a reason not to be with him.

Answer 8

sounds like he's addicted and can't stop. I doubt that having a stable relationship will stop him from smoking weed. Don't lower your standards just because you think you've found someone who seems to have all the other qualities that you're looking for. There will always be better guys out there. If anything, keep the relationship casual, because sooner or later the weed problem will come back to haunt your bond.

Answer 9

You have to really evaluate what you want with him. If there is even the potential of it getting serious, you should walk away. It isn't fair to say you won't go further into a relationship unless he stops because you walked in knowing this is the way he is. You would become a nag and no woman wants to be that. I will give him credit for still working and holding his own. I also don't think you should go into this thinking you will be the good woman that fixes this for him. Maybe it is something that he doesn't think needs fixin'. Accept him as is or walk away. Those are your choices as I see them.

Answer 10

if you don't want the drugs in your life stay away. as hard as it may be. sounds like he needs some help dealing with some things and you are not the wonder women that can do it. he needs to do it on his own when he wants to. if you are thinking about changing on your compromises for a man specially one as big as drugs what else would you be giving up for a man? just a thought . i say don't do it there are plenty of men out there that don't do drugs. good luck