Is this a blatent snub to my partner - we have been together for 3 years and they have met him several times!!!
2007-05-30 05:58:27 · 59 answers · asked by killakellers 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
They may have only invited married couples to the ceremony to conserve space. It is a snub in that they knew he existed but the relationship they have is with you and you are who they want to be there. Now by no means do you have to go but if for some reason they can't afford it or just don't like him then he wouldn't have been invited.
2007-05-30 06:05:50 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You really have to give this some thought. Is this a family wedding? If so it would be easy to find out the reason. Sometimes it all comes down to finances and the number a venue holds. Also if you are cousin, friend whatever you should be able to find out if others in same position are invited on their own. I personally think if a person is in a serious relationship and for some reason they cannot invite the partner then it would be much nicer to explain this verbally, even a phone call or email before the invitations go out. Also owing to the facts I mentioned at the beginning there can be a real restriction in numbers and it could be the way the guest list has been worked out eg lots of cousins so can only invite the cousins without partners, or only the eldest of each family of cousins was invited with partner. Or are you a really close friend? The bride may have been able to invite her closest couple of friends with partners but still wanted other good friends to go and this was the only way she could afford to do it. If you know lots of people going to the wedding then the bride may have thought this was in order. I do see your point and as no
explanation was given to you I do think that's rather unfair. Only by weighing up all the facts and getting more information can you decide if you should go. If everyone else is invited with partner, it is not an oversight and your boyfriend has done nothing to be ashamed of in the company of these people then it is a snub. This would however seem really unusual and if it is the case others are invited with partners then you must ask outright the reason for this. I would tread carefully and be sure of your facts before tackling the couple. They say weddings never please everyone. I am in the process of getting replies back from my daughter's invitations. Fortunately we were in the position as we thought to invite everyone and if they were single with a guest. However, lots of people perhaps just could not do this. With the Champage, drinks, meal, evening buffet the whole thing will work out around £80 per head. I suppose realistically if all the people not in a relationship bring a partner or friend of the same sex it is a bit silly we are paying all this for complete strangers. Again we didn't want to risk offending. However, I had a reply from a cousin of mine's daughter (second cousin you could say of the bride) who has been twice divorced, she was invited like the others with guest but I received this very curt reply, with not even one line saying why she isn't attending. I can only think it is because we did not invite her children. Where do you stop? Telling you all this hoping with a bit of insight you will be able to handle the situation tactfully. I do hope this is a mistake or a very good reason why this has occurred. Best of luck!!!
2007-05-30 13:16:37 · answer #2 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm probably going to get a lot of thumbs down for this, but I doubt him not being invited has anything to do with some kind of statement or insult. Planning a wedding is a royal pain in the ***, the guest list being the largest contributor to that pain in the ***. Do you have any idea how impossible it is to manage a guest list and all those details without accidentally offending someone? The bride and groom probably either have perfectly good reasons for not inviting him or it was a complete oversight. Frankly, most couples end up having to make rules when it comes to the guest list. If you don't, it becomes an untamable monster and everyone and their third cousin's nephew gets invited. Most people can't afford that many guests, so they make rules to make trimming the guest list easier. Sometimes those rules end up leaving someone out that the couple has absolutely nothing against. Perhaps they made a rule to only invite couples that are married or live together or have been together for five years or more. It may even be that they didn't invite him because they've only met him several times and don't know him as a close personal friend of theirs. If you're really that upset about it, call the bride and ask if there was a mistake, but if she explains that there was a reason such as the rules I mentioned, you really can't be that mad at her. She's probably doing the best she can. If they bend the rules for one person, they have to bend them for everybody. However, if it was a snub as you suspect, then don't go to the wedding and you'll know where you stand with those people. But don't get in a tizzy about it until you know what is really going on.
2007-05-30 06:25:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
It depends on how close you are to the bride and/or groom. If it's a coworker, go and have fun. If it's a close family member (i.e. cousin) I'd skip it. If you socialize with the couple as a couple with your partner, I'd wonder if it was a snub or an accident.
You also have to remember, weddings are expensive - many receptions are $100 a plate, and if by inviting your partner it means that Great Aunt Betty gets left out, most people go with Great Aunt Betty instead of someone they've "met several times."
2007-05-30 06:39:47 · answer #4 · answered by zippythejessi 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
If I received an invitation from someone who knew I had a partner and the partner was not included on the invitation I would not go. I would take it as a snub and I would probably be upset about it. I would rather not be invited than have my partner snubbed.
2007-05-30 06:57:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe get some more information on why he wasn't invited, they could have limited space for their chosen reception etc. You can ask whoever is organizing the wedding. Also you can be the one to ask if your partner can come as they could have overlooked that you are with someone. Some people find weddings should be quite private with only good friends and family, people they no very well. Definitely don't take offense. You have been specially asked to celebrate a couples wedding, go and it will be lovely.
2007-05-30 06:11:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You should go, and enjoy it, and be pleased that you were invited! It may be that they simply can't afford to have half the people they want to invite, and you were lucky to be squeezed onto the shortlist. It may be that they don't enjoy your partner's company, and would rather use the seat for someone they would like to have at their wedding. Maybe they have too many friends with too many partner's, and maybe none of the partner's are invited. Who knows, but if you love them and want to be a part of their day, don't let it matter.
2007-06-01 08:34:20 · answer #7 · answered by itchy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe not a snub...could they not afford to invite your partner? Are other people bringing their significant others? Have they always gotten along in the past with your partner?
I would only consider it a snub if they invite your friend's loved ones but not yours. If you guys are true friends, can't you ask them whyyourself?
2007-05-30 06:16:19 · answer #8 · answered by Denise 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Definitely still go to the wedding - I doubt it was a blatant snub on their part! You say they've met your bf "several times" and from this I figure that they aren't friends? (Not enemies but they just don't spend time together without you.) This is probably more to do with money and the number of people they can invite than anything else. Don't take it personally because I'm sure you weren't the only one in this situation! Go and have a good time anyway!
2007-05-30 06:03:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
If they met him several times, then it's weird they wouldn't invite him. Talk to the bride or groom...maybe it's an oversight, I mean weddings can be overwhelming to plan. I'm sure this can be straightened out, just don't assume and call with an attitude. Save the anger for after the conversation.
2007-05-30 06:15:30 · answer #10 · answered by Peace 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋