well here goes i missed a friends wedding last month because i fell unwellthe nite before the wedding .So i left a message with a friend who was going to send my apologises , as i didnt want to bother her especially as i wasnt part of the wedding party .As she was going on her honeymoon straight after i left her an email witha sorry and an offer to pay for the meals my fiance and i hadnt eatin at the reception also that we would take my friend and her husband out for dinner when we got back .When she got back i heard nothing from her so decided to give her a call , no answers .A couple of weeks on i've accepted that obviously she's not talking to me .To behonest i am kinda hacked of about it I think itis a bit of cheek that she isnt talking to me when she quite happily took the 50 pounds i sent to her as here wedding gift ???? am i in the wrong?Im getting married next year abroad and renting villas for all the guests to stay for 2 weeks so not a cheap wedding should i still invite her
2007-05-30 05:11:33 · 27 answers · asked by miss_ninety_ukuk 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
at first i did think she was just busy or didnt get my email .But talking to other friends shes been intouch with makes it obvious that shes not just busy , i also resent my email
2007-05-30 05:19:48 · update #1
Blunt , I DO NOT see it as a finacial transaction , anything but .Its nothing to do with that ,i offered to pay her for the meals etc and with regards to my wedding if she rsvp'd and took ill i would not have a problem its not something she could have helped .To be honest ur a bit of an idiot arent u
2007-05-30 05:27:03 · update #2
You aren't in the wrong.
Could you have got your wires crossed, though? Are you sure your other friend remembered to deliver your messge? Maybe your email never arrived - sometimes these things happen.
Why not send her a nice friendly email now, inviting them both round and explaining the whole thing. Send it so you know when it's been read.
If she still doesn't reply, don't have anything to do with her.
2007-05-30 05:16:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a shame that you became ill and could not attend your friends wedding. I'm betting she didnt even completely notice you werent there because she was probably so busy that day. It seems as though she may be upset about the stiuation but also understand that in her mind, she may have set up that these were the people I absolutely had no doubt would be at my wedding. If you werent there, that could have upset her a lot. I would just give it some time. Back off for a little bit, see if she comes to you. Only call her for birthdays/holidays to wish her well and about a month or two before you send out your invitations to your wedding, try again. if she still doesnt respond, do not invite her. It will be her loss on obviously such a great friend. :)
2007-05-30 05:50:54 · answer #2 · answered by Des 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very rude for her not to be talking to you. However--she has just gotten back from a honeymoon, unpacking, writing hundreds of thankyou notes, finding a place for her gifts while returning to work. There is the possibility that she just hasn't had the time to return your call.
However--if you are correct and she isn't talking to you...yes she is acting spoiled. You were sick, you were not in the wedding party so it wasn't as if she was left in an awkward situation and still got her a gift.
However your wedding is still a long way away. As you have made several efforts to contact her, what I would do in your case is wait and see. If she doesn't contact you--or you've only talked to her once before it is time for you to send out your invites--then you have something to consider. But right now, it is too early. I chose to invite my friends (one that is getting married next month was a bridesmaid and rudely backed out of my wedding with no reason) to my wedding anyway. I wanted to take the high road. She didn't RSVP but she is the rude one, not me. She is getting married next month and has not invited me. But I know I did everything I could to save the friendship.
However--if she is petty and not speaking to you, then she wasn't a friend to begin with and you are quite lucky you found this out so early.
But as I said--it's only been a couple weeks and she is incredibly busy. Give her a chance to call you back.
2007-05-30 05:19:37 · answer #3 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think you asked this question soon after you missed the wedding and I replied to you? You haven't done anything wrong but perhaps you could have handled the situation a little better? Six years ago when my elder daughter got married in the last 48 hrs we had a couple of call offs and by this time final numbers were in and we had to pay but the call offs were really genuine, a relatives death , illness etc. and I fully understood and put it down to something that just could not be helped. One couple came to the church for the service, had plenty of time to speak to me while pictures were being taken but didn't come to the reception, apparently because she couldn't get a baby sitter (youngest 12 yrs). I really wasn't happy but just let it go, but then that's just the way I am. I think an email was the quickest way to get the message to your friend in an emergency situation but as it sounds like she formally invited you then you really should have sent a little note or card with your apologies. I can't actually see why in genuine circumstances she could be annoyed. When you say no answers from her phone, unsure if you mean you left messages and she didn't reply or there was simply no answer, in which case how would she have known it was you unless she has Caller Display or it was her mobile? Also I think I said this to you last time. I just cannot fathom out the situation as if someone was ill, no matter how busy you were when you came back from Honeymoon you would want to check up on them. However, you have got to be very honest with yourself, as only you know. Are you in the habit of calling off things? Are you telling the complete truth? Could you have fallen out with your fiance? Could someone have seen you somewhere else that day and told her? Could a person have told her they thought you were lying and planted a seed in her mind? Only you know the answer. No point of putting additional information on your posting as naturally you are going to say you are being 100% truthful. I am not saying you are not genuine but if you aren't only you know and then it would certainly be on your conscience.
2007-05-30 13:41:57 · answer #4 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am sure by next year you and she would have sorted the misunderstanding out. She can't be much of a friend to deliberately do that to you. There must be some mix-up.
I got in to a similar predicament, and thought the other party were having a laugh. Turned out they never received my email and their answerphone was on the blink.
If she was a good friend, then try and contact her again. But if you feel she is overreacting, don't invite her to your wedding, as she might try and pay you back. Some crazy people are like that. Tit for tat, you know.
Good luck.
2007-05-30 05:19:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Above all, I have to say that it would take a very serious illness for me to miss my friends wedding.
Having planned my own wedding, I now realise how upsetting and annoying it is when people blow out at the last minute. As you well know, weddings are very expensive....I'm sure your friend had hundreds of other people she could have invited in your place but obviously wanted you there....and your fiance is part of the deal of having you there. The fact that you couldn't make it obviously meant that two people that could have made it, and probably would have loved to have made it, couldn't go either as it was a last minute decline - I have to say, I would have found that really frustrating, and pretty upsetting.
Don't be offended as I'm just saying it from her point of view.
I invited one of my best friends to my wedding and she came with her fiance.....unfortunately her fiance sat there with a long face on him all day....I found that really insulting, not because he wasn't enjoying himself (everyone else was, says something about him), but that there were plenty of people that would have loved to be there, people who I would much rather were there, but instead he got the place and it was a place wasted as far as I'm concerned. That's just a kind of similar(ish) example. Luckily no-body actually blew out at the last minute - I would have been really upset if anyone did I have to say.
2007-05-30 05:26:04 · answer #6 · answered by sarahscarah78 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure she is not just busy with the aftermath of the wedding? it does seem wrong of her to be mad at you when you were simply ill and could not make it, considering you sent on the money and apologised a few times. Maybe just call her and ask her why she is mad at you and that you are looking to invite her to yours and does she want to come. If you get no reply, simply do not invite her, as she sounds like she may not go out of spite and this will be a waste of a villa. She is not much of a friend if she cannot forgive you for simply being ill.
2007-05-30 05:17:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like she's very bitter. I can understand her annoyance if you didn't show up for no reason but if you are sick what can you do!?
I'd suggest that you should try to speak to her face to face. You have to try and reason this out with her and get to the bottom of the real reason she's not talking to you- it all still could be a missunderstanding. Reassure her that you're sorry but explain that there was nothing you could do- She has no valid reason to be upset with you. If after talking to her the situation is for any reason unreconcilable then don't invite her to your wedding because you don't want do have to deal with any extra stress especially as its for 2 weeks!
Hopefuly though you will be able to reconcile, if she's reasonable and you act apologetically and not stand-offish.
Good Luck and Congrats on the wedding ! xx
2007-05-30 05:23:07 · answer #8 · answered by betty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and see her. Ask her face to face why she hasn't been in touch. As you will soon experience, married life is a bit different to being free and single.
Make sure the other friend delivered the message - if not, then find out why. There could be a simple explanation. If she is still being funny with you, then don't invite her to your wedding - its YOUR day and you don't want it ruined by childish behaviour.
2007-05-30 05:57:08 · answer #9 · answered by bubblybassoonist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When ur planning a wedding you're gonna have to accept that things happen last min and there will be spaces. I think shes bein totally out of order. No i wouldnt invite her to you're wedding. If shes willing to fall out over something so trivial ur better off without her!!
2007-05-30 05:25:17 · answer #10 · answered by Mind ur business!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋