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Okay I have this friend who's not a real close friend who has a 3 year old daughter. Anyhow her daughter has started calling my son her little brother. Her mother thinks it's cute and encourages it. I'm not so sure that I'm okay with it as my son isn't able to understand what a sister is right now. He will eventually as he has a 17 year old half-sister. Should I let it go and let it or should I say something? If I should say something what should I say?

2007-05-30 04:56:51 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting Toddler & Preschooler

I meant should I let it go and let it continue or should I say something?

2007-05-30 04:58:47 · update #1

I should add this friend is my boyfriend's friend more than mine. She is his ex-wife and no her child is not his. That is why I am not sure I'm okay about it.

2007-05-30 05:38:54 · update #2

14 answers

Apparently it does bother you and that is what is important. The baby does not understand what she is saying, so it won't affect him right now. The little girl is doing it because she probably wants a baby brother for her own. There are a couple of ways you can handle it....and no, since it's bothering you...don't let it continue happening. We all too often turn our heads and let things keep happening and then we feel badly and women need to fix the things that bother them...and not just over look it. Now, you can limit the amount of time that you are around these two and in doing so...limit the attachment. Better than that, you can very gently explain to the little girl that the baby's name is "John" and he needs our help in knowing his name....so only call him "John" and that "baby brother" is a special name that is saved for a boy that her mommy and daddy may some day bring into the family. I would do it in front of the mom and be very loving. You can then tell the "friend" that you didn't want to encourage the little girl's confusion. Whatever you choose to do, do something....you are concerned enough to be here asking for advice...then it needs to be dealt with. Good luck....hugs to the baby for us.

2007-05-30 05:11:14 · answer #1 · answered by DinahLynne 6 · 1 1

I don't think you should address your "not so close" friend about this, as it will make her feel uncomfortable and make you look like a bad friend. I think you should hint her in a way that will let her know it bothers you. For example, "Do you plan to have more children? or do you plan to give your daughter a brother some day?" Make a comment like, "It looks like 'daughter name' wants a little brother". It's a polite way to let her know that no, your son is not her brother and if her daughter wants a little brother she can give him one. I don't have any kids but I have a best friend who has 2 and they live with me. They call me their Aunt...I don't mind and their parents encourage it, but I can see where you are coming from....especially, if she is not that close with you. I mean, It's not like she's your sister and it's your niece calling your son her brother....which, I assume would be OK, since they're family. Your "friend" probably encourages it because she thinks you like the fact that her daughter sees your son as a brother. So yeah, don't address her just hint her in a nice way.....and lets hope she gets the point.

2007-05-30 05:15:10 · answer #2 · answered by Bella 3 · 0 0

Totally not a big deal at all. YOU don't have to say it when she's around, just kind of ignore it. You could say something like, he does have a big sister and maybe someday he'll have a little sister. Also, you could say, talk to your mommy about getting you a little brother of your own. Say it in a playful tone, but relax and let it go - if she's not so close but you're hanging around her I'd look at that too.

2007-05-30 05:07:02 · answer #3 · answered by cjm 3 · 0 0

If it is really bugging you then say something, but I personally think there is nothing wrong with it. She is only 3 and I think it means she must really like him. Some kids at 3 call other people mommy and daddy too, they just have to get it all figured out in their heads how family and being related or not works, and at 3 they don't get that yet.

2007-05-30 05:23:07 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Coffee 6 · 0 0

If it bothers you say something. Neither child knows any different but if you would like your not so close friend to have her daughter stop say something politely. She should understand. If not maybe thats why it bothers you, maybe you don't find her or her child worthy of family without the blood link. Do whats best for you and your child. Good Luck!!!

2007-05-30 05:08:09 · answer #5 · answered by mrsdamico22 3 · 1 0

Let it go...... To say something would be uptight and neurotic and eventually cause other parents to avoid you and your child cause hanging out with you is more work than fun. Kids are kids and somethings are just better overlooked. Lighten up.I have avoided mothers who were neurotic and uptight for years. It's not work the stress of worrying what will upset them and constantly harping on my own children to do this and not do that cause we don't want to upset that mother. You acting this way will reflect badly on you.

2007-05-30 05:12:59 · answer #6 · answered by Petra 5 · 1 0

I'd let it go. It's not a big deal. Besides, the family terms (brother, sister, aunt) can extend beyond blood.

How many of your parent's friends did you call Aunt So and So growing up?
I call my best friend my sister, and I will refer to her as Aunt April when my child is born.

2007-05-30 05:01:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Maybe the child calls all boys brother. She could have it mixed up. But your child wont remember it for long and soon she will know better so I would let it go.

2007-05-30 05:03:59 · answer #8 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0 0

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2016-10-18 11:31:27 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

The fact that you are asking this (it's obviously bothering you), tells me that you aren't very child oriented- sorry.
Kids do this- it's called "pretending". You seem to have not been able to do any pretending when you were this age-... so how could you possibly be good at pretending that it isn't bothering you. Do what you think you have to do... but do it with tact.

2007-05-30 05:06:52 · answer #10 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 2 0

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