Abortion: A bit of responsibility, please?

Question

Someone has recently posted a question in which he expressed guilt over his first girlfriend having aborted a pregnancy he took part in creating.

Knowing that the law in the United States allows a woman to make the decision of whether or not to carry a pregnancy to term, don't you think it's reasonable to ask that people discuss their views on abortion before having sex? I would not sleep with someone who felt that an abortion was murder because if all precautions failed, abortion is, in my mind, a viable option. Conversely, I don't think a guy who is strongly opposed to abortion should sleep with a woman who sees it as a choice. You have to be aware of the possibly consequences of your actions, and if you choose to sleep with a woman, you have to understand that, if she becomes pregnant, this option is available to her. If you don't want your fetus aborted, you should only sleep with women who don't believe in abortion.

I'm sick of hearing "she should have kept her legs closed."

If a woman believes that abortion is an option, and if the couple takes precautions, why SHOULD she not make the decision to have sex? If the man thinks abortion is not an option, then heshould find a different sexual partner.

Answer 1

Abortion is nothing new and anyone who thinks it is a phenomena restricted to the late 20th century and onward is just ignorant.

Abortion should always be the woman’s choice and the woman’s choice alone. She is the bearer of the “child” at the fetus stage and since it is part of her body she has the right to do what ever she wishes with it.

If a man is pro-life and sleeps with a woman who is pro-choice and they get knocked up. It is tuff for him since IT IS NOT his choice. Yes he helped created the child by passing on genetic material but since he does not bear the child or carry it as part of the body he has no say in the matter. Sorry that is just how it is. If he wanted to keep any child he bore then he needs to find a partner who is also pro-life.

Telling someone what they can and can not do with their body is just wrong. It is my body and I should be able to do what ever I damn well please with it.

I know some people will say but the fetus is its own living thing blah blah blah. Face it in the early stages of pregnancy the fetus is nothing more than a parasite draining the mother’s nutrients and causing physical and psychological strain to her.

If you are pro-life then great that is your choice you don’t have to get an abortion. But don’t you dare try to impose your religious views upon me or anyone else.

If you ban abortion all you are going to see is an increase in the sale of coat hangers, more unwanted children, children who are despised by their parents, unloved children, and even an increase in just homeless children.

It is about choice people and every time you take away some ones choice you destroy not only their liberties but their freedom.

And to those that want to pipe up and say you are taking away the fetus choice/right of life and what not fine then let just rip it out of the woman’s body and let it survive on its own.

And also this whole the woman should keep her legs shut is just BS sexism at its finest. I am sorry but sex is a natural phenomena and to deny it is to deny being human.

Answer 2

I think that it would be wonderful if people discussed their views on abortion before having sex. I doubt this will happen in most situations though.
I however do not agree that the man should have no say in the abortion process.
The child is created by both the man and the woman, they know this usually before having sex and that the woman is the one who will bear the child. Does this mean the man has no rights?
If the mother then decides to have the child, but the father wishes it aborted, then when the child is born, will the mother then take full responsibility and not ask him for child support?

I agree that if you are not ready to have a child, then perhaps sexual intercourse is not the right decision.
I am not for abortions, but since they will not be stopping any time soon then I am glad there is a safe place for it to happen.
I understand that in the situation of rape, or harm to the mother due to the pregnancy, that it is sometimes necissary.
I do not believe for a moment that a fetus is not a child.

Answer 3

I guess if people don't believe in abortion, they should not have sex until they are ready to become parents.

You will never convince me that it is not murder. You have so many other choices, the most effective being abstinence. When you have an abortion you take away the consequences of your poor choices. I know you don't want to hear that, but it is true.

I guess I do understand your point and it make sense. However, is it realistic? If you have decided not to lead a moral life, I imagine that there will be times that you get caught up in the moment and carried away- are you going to stop in the heat of the moment and have the abortion discussion? I don't think so.

Really there is only one solution to your problem- that is not having sex in the first place until you are married. But I guess as long as people are going to go on acting like unpaid prostitutes, then this will be the debate.

Abortion is not a responsible choice. Abstinence is though.

Answer 4

Despite the fact that I didn't always follow this rule when I was younger, I just don't even think that people should be hopping into bed that quickly! Call me slightly old-fashioned, but if two people can't talk about something like birth control or abortion together, comfortably, they shouldn't be having sex. I remember when I was a teenager, my mother told me that, even though she didn't expect me to wait until marriage, that sex was best with someone you loved and could trust, and I believe that today. And so yes - you're right. And two people with such fundamental differences would be unlikely to have a relationship in the first place, one would think. And if they did, it would certainly be serious enough to overcome such obstacles.

And to all of you saying sex is for marriage - fine - I'm married, and I could tell you now that even if I got pregnant, I'd probably have an abortion and my husband would support me. I don't want kids.

Answer 5

Why would you discuss abortion before having sex? Why not discuss BIRTH CONTROL first... instead of bringing up killing a fetus.

If a woman constantly gets pregnant and uses abortion as Birth Control, she either needs to get "fixed" or keep her legs closed. Honestly, to sit there and put it that responsibility on the man, when ultimately it is the woman's final decision is rather silly. Not too many women even care what a man thinks concerning abortion (especially if she uses it as a means of birth control). If a man is opposed to abortion, then he should consider buying stock in Trojan.

Answer 6

I agree. It should be talked about in a relationship beforehand. I think it should be a woman's choice...but there are soooo many women out there who constantly have sex, with multiple partners and think abortion is wonderful. Its not. Its very sad, a life has to be taken away because someone was irresponsible. However, when it comes to rape and things of that nature, I can fully understand why a woman would want an abortion.

Answer 7

Let me say first that I'm pro-choice. The woman has to risk her life, and that of her unborn by carrying it, it should be her decision to do so. I do not however think it is a moral substitute for contraceptives. That denotes a lack of responsibility. I've seen women who accidently get pregnant, and dont want to get fat, so they abort. On the other side. I think it's acceptable if contraceptives fail, and the woman is unable to safely carry to term. You also have to look at the woman's life at that time. If an accident happens, and they do, is the woman able to safely carry to term? Can she financially afford to term? Will her significant other support her for her maternity leave? Does she have family that can take care of her? I've seen this situation before. Woman dates man. Man is "Serious, and wants to get married" They move in together. Woman is told she doesnt have to work. She leaves her job to be a housewife. accident happens. Man is suddenly in another state making the claim that this cant be his child. Man breaks off contact. Pregnant woman now has no job, no family, no guy, and no money. You may thing discrimination based on pregnancy doesnt happen but let me tell you it does. What are these women supposed to do? They cant support themselves pregnant to give the baby for adoption. They cant keep it. Where can they turn? It's not always so black and white. This happens every day.

Answer 8

Not sure what the question is but I'm pro life for myself and pro choice for everyone else. Nobody has the RIGHT to tell a woman what she should or shouldn't do with her body. It is HER decision and between her and God, not her, God and the rest of society. And if she later regrets it, that is something SHE will have to deal with so don't concern yourself with what other people have to deal with. Nobody on this earth is perfect.

I do feel the man has a right to express his feelings about whether he wants his mate to have or not have an abortion. But ULTIMATELY the woman makes the final decision since SHE is the one that will be carrying the child. When a man grows a uterus, then he can make the decision!

I wish people would get out of women's wombs!!! Worry about your own dang faults and shortcomings and stop focusing on what faults you perceive others as having!

Answer 9

I entirely agree with your central argument, and support your sensible stance on abortion.

The issue, though, is not in apportioning blame or responsibility - if it were it's certainly true that man are as culpable as women, if not more so given that they're often the instigators.

It's a sad fact that the extra blood required to achieve tumescence in both sexes often appears to be taken straight from the supply to the brain. People aren't thinking of consequences, and this fact hardly ever seems to be taken into account in official attempts to tackle unwanted pregnancy.

Certainly anyone who isn't prepared to do whatever's necessary to deal with a pregnancy and still has sex has only themselves to blame if it all goes wrong. That, however, seldom acts as a disincentive. Rational thought is not a factor.

CD

Answer 10

Yes, abortion is legal. This means that it is always an option in this country. No one should be surprised...but people can make decisions they later regret.

What seems like a viable option at the time, can later be seen as a huge mistake. I assume this young man wasn't lamenting that he didn't know she'd have an abortion...but that she had one and his child is dead. Sooner or later...abortion...the murder of an innocent...will hit you. It may take years...but the pain will sneak in. The wonder of what that child would have been like...who it would have been and knowing there is a person missing...etc. will haunt you.

It haunts me.