I have a really nasty sister who basically found out something about me, told my equally nasty broither and sister...but years after not being friends with my mom, they now are talking to her to tell her what they found out. She really was'nt bothered, but I think the aim is to try and break me and my wife (of a foreign race) up. They have never liked my wife, and nothing wiuld give them greater pleasure than to break us up. We arestrong so I hope we'll get through this. by the way teh secret is one I won't share here, but I have'nt killed anyone, stole anything or had an affair. And in any case, my wife knew what it was before we got married. I just wondereed how any of you coped / dealt with it, if you feel others are trying to use this info against you?
2007-05-30 04:22:29 · 11 answers · asked by jonoxk 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am sorry you have to go through this and I'm sure you've struggled enough with your family and to add all this drama too. If it's not one thing, it's another, isn't it? Does your sister know that you are bothered by this secret leaking out? If so, stop showing her that it bothers you. Play the scenario of the whole world finding out your secret...what is the worst that could happen? What would you say if someone asked you about the secret? Come up with how you would respond in a way that it's not such a big deal and how you can cut the conversation short so they couldn't go any further and ask you for details. Sometimes, once you go through the "movie" in your head, it becomes less threatening and you are taking that power away from you sister.
Stop focusing on what your sister is doing/saying, focus on what's important...your wife :).
Good luck to you.
2007-05-30 04:49:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your wife already knows about it and your mum was not really that bothered, then they have no ammunition, they are just being spiteful. You and your wife can simply stand stall and together against this crap they insist on dishing out. Simply tell them that the secret will not harm anyone, as the people you love and trust know so they can simply try and continue to spread their venom, but it will be pointless, they will soon lose interest and move on. x
2007-05-30 05:21:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your wife already knew about this secret and your mother was basically unfazed by learning of it, then let this be their loss. Clearly, your siblings have accomplished nothing by telling your secret and having any further reaction to it will only give them some satisfaction....in which case they will probably try to spread it around further. Since the secret hasn't caused taboo in the family or your marriage they will probably feel defeated and let it rest (unless you give them the reaction they want).
2007-05-30 04:45:55 · answer #3 · answered by Lwood 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your relationship is strong between you & your wife then you'll get through it. I cant relate to your situation with your family as my family are close.
I would lay my cards on the table if I were you and come clean with everything & just see what happens. Once they know they haven't got anything over you, their power is reduced. Your mum will be wise to them, remember they havent been exactly friends with her in the past so she'll know their motives.
2007-05-30 04:28:08 · answer #4 · answered by Purple.Diamond 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally NOTHING would stop me doing anything I did not want to do. If someone felt they had something against me and wanted to hurt me with it I'd be the type of person to say BE MY GUEST.
Sweetie if you and and your wife are strong as you say you are then by God you will get through.
2007-05-31 04:13:56 · answer #5 · answered by MaryBlue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if your marriage is strong and this secret is something your wife is aware of then I think just have nothing to do with them. Stay strong and happy xx
2007-05-30 05:37:01 · answer #6 · answered by Secret Squirrel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i depends what it is maybe if yr wife know something about it she could make an effort so yr parent will like her..., but if its a mistake that u have made call yr mum or dad and talk to them about it they should understand u, no matter what they think abou yr wife its yr life live it as u want to...
2007-05-30 04:31:25 · answer #7 · answered by kittypretty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are nasty family or not.
Most people are out for themselves to make themselves look better, it's crap, be true to your self and you wife, stay happy
2007-06-01 08:35:00 · answer #8 · answered by Busgirl2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once, my friend found out that I cut my wrists, and threatened to tell someone if I didn't help her cheat on some stupid test. I just told her that it's stupid to threaten me after I trusted her. She felt guilty and decided to neither cheat nor snitch
2007-05-30 04:25:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
screw them if u have nothing to hide or be ashamed about then the only embarassment is their prying into your business and trying to take u down./ take pity on them, karma will find its way back to them.
2007-05-30 04:26:03 · answer #10 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋