Is there any easy way to get the Catholic church to recognize my marriage?

Question

My wife and I eloped because even though I was 22 at the time, my mother didn't give me permission to date or see girls. I fell in love and married anyway because I didn't want to spend life as a momma's boy. Anyway, my wife and I are atheists but my parents are devout Catholics. According to the church, our marriage is not valid without their stamp of approval. I could care less but my dad thinks we live in sin and I'd like to please him. Is there a way for us to validate our marriage in the church without having to take classes or having a wedding (something neither my wife or I like).

Answer 1

No.

Your having an "invalid" marriage is the least of your problems.

Answer 2

No there is not an easy way out, and this is not because of a problem with the Church, but because of the situation you yourself caused by eloping.

First of all, your marriage is not considered to be valid since you eloped (married by a civil authority, I'm guessing?) and married against the direct wishes of your parents.

Secondly, if your attitude is that your dad is a fossil for thinking you're living in sin (he's right) and you simply want to "please him" then forget trying to get the Church to recognize your marriage.

This should come from your heart - this desire to do what is right in the eyes of the Church and before God.

I suggest you do more soul-searching, maybe find a good Catholic priest to discuss this with. Also, one thing you've totally forgotten is your need for repentence for the shabby way in which you handled this entire affair.

You have rejected the Church. Why should the Church put itself out to help you look good? Why should the Church recognize a marriage where there never was one?

Answer 3

*Is Catholic*

No and your situation is probably more complicated.

In order to have a Catholic wedding, one if you has to be
Baptized AND
Confirmed as a Catholic

If both of you are not confirmed Catholics, then you will need a dispensation, the type of which depends on your situation.

It is not possible for your situation to have the marriage validated without the classes and committing yourself to the Catholic life.

As far as "living in sin" goes, it is probably mostly mitigated by the apostasy of leaving the Church and being an atheist, if you apostatized before you were married. In other words, returning to the Church will sort the problems with your marriage out, but sorting the problems with your marriage out will not return you to the Church (that is if you left the Church before you were married). Do me a favor and tell your dad that he needs to concentrate his prayers on you returning to the Church and not on the nature of your marriage.

-----READ THIS-------
If neither of you is baptized Christian, the civil marriage is recognized as a valid marriage but a non-sacramental marriage. This is important because all non-sacramental marriages can be divorced.

Answer 4

Easy way no.
here is what you have to do:

You and your wife need to make an appointment with your parish pastor.

But here is the thing, since you and your wife admit to being atheists (and I am not passing judgment here) no catholic priest is going to bless your marriage.

I could be wrong, and that is why I am saying make the appointment and go talk to the priest. But when a priest blesses a marriage he is performing a sacrament. But you have to be a practicing catholic to receive the sacraments and as atheists you are not - see the catch 22.

I can understand you wanting to make your dad happy. Maybe by taking the first step in talking to the priest, this will go a long way in making him happy.

Hope this helps!

Answer 5

Well, the Church is pretty regimented about these things. So the short answer is "No," but it may be worth it to talk to a priest. If you find the right one, he might be able to work you into the system (it is, in the end, a burecratic organization). I woudn't get your hopes up though, being an atheist most priests aren't going to see the reason behind your request. Perhaps you could try lying and claiming you are a Catholic, but I can't think that it would be worth it to compromise your integrity to win the approval of your parents who certainly wouldn't approve of such an act of deception.

Good luck, but there just isn't much hope there.

Answer 6

Um, I think that there is no "quick and easy" method to getting your marriage approved. If I'm not mistaken, you at least have to have the intention of raising your children Catholic, your marriage has to be performed by a priest... there are several others that I can't remember. Try looking in a copy of the Cathecism of the Catholic Church (your parents should have one.) Also ask your parents if they can recommend a good priest to talk to about your situation.

Answer 7

Sorry, but why would the Catholic Church recognize your marriage if you are not a practicing Catholic or intend to begin being one? You do not have the right to such recognition.

Tell your parents that you are and atheist and no longer a member of the Catholic Church and as such, Church law does not apply to you.

Will this please your parents? No, but you have already done enough to displease them, so why be concerned at this point?

Answer 8

>>Is there a way for us to validate our marriage in the church without having to take classes or having a wedding (something neither my wife or I like).<<

Option 1: a radical sanation (retroactive validation) requested by you (Canon 1161). You may be required to agree to bring up any children Catholic and attend one class, however.

Option 2: a radical sanation requested by your father (Canon 1164). Very rare, but I consider this the more honest option for you.

Answer 9

You do not need a church to approve your marriage.

Answer 10

Um, if you are athiest, then why do you care what the catholic church thinks of your marriage?

If your dad thinks you are living in sin, then he is a moron (no offense).