I am getting married in June. I invited two of my favorite cousins and their Dad but I did not invite their Mother because she is not married to my Uncle anymore. More importantly, she was very mean to me when I was growing up. She has never showed me any kindness and I have no relationship with this women what so ever. She has disrespected my Mother and the wedding is at my Mother's house. The last time I saw this women was 9 years ago at my Brothers wedding but she didn't speak to me then. Now because I won't invite her, my cousins probably won't come and I look like the Bridezilla.
Am I wrong for not wanting this person at my wedding. As far as i'm concerned she is not a part of my family.
What would you do?
2007-05-30 04:02:39 · 43 answers · asked by missie_d_73 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Its YOUR wedding, the day you've probably dreamed of for a long time. Invite who you please, those that don't come are missing out themselves. The most important people are not necessarily cousins, but moms, dads, sisters, brothers, grandparents,and best friends!
My mom insisted I invite her best friend to my wedding, but her best friend and my husband to be did not get along, and when I asked him, he said he would prefer she not be invited, so I didn't. This made my mom angry and her best friend furious! But my wedding went well, and we were happy that she did not come, because I realized, its MY wedding, not my moms, not her best friends!
2007-05-30 04:09:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding, invite who you want. If this lady was mean to you growing up and didn't even acknowledge you at your brother's wedding, she's off the invite list. You shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable at your own wedding. A couple who is getting married should be surrounded by people who love and care about them. People who wish them well. This woman doesn't sound like she cares about you nor wish you well. If your cousins don't come because their mother was not invited, so be it. Your reasons are valid and it is your day. Don't stress, I and many others will agree with you.
2007-05-30 04:18:44 · answer #2 · answered by Cambrianna S 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt invite her either, when she divorced your uncle, she divorced the whole family and you are under no obligation to ask her to join in your celebration.
However, your cousins are her daughters and their loyalties lie with her not you and I dont think that you should be upset that they will not attend. Accept that this is the decision they are choosing to make and dont hold it against them. But dont plan your wedding and happiness around whether or not they attend, if they come they come, if they dont they dont. Invite them, thats all you can do.
BTW, you do not look like Bridezilla, I hate that term anyway. You have very valid reasons to not invite this woman, if they would like to hear them you can tell them what they are, but I doubt they are interested or will be understanding because you are talking about their mom. Just let them do what they will.
Best of luck.
2007-05-30 04:22:00 · answer #3 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is no longer part of the family and it sounds like there is good reason for that. She should not expect to be invited to family things when she is no longer part of the family. She did not have a good relationship with you or your mother. I think that you acted correctly. Your uncle can bring his children to your wedding. It has been 9 years since you saw her anyway and I assume that you have had no contact with her in the meantime. That is just crazy. You are not being Bridezilla in this case. She is the one who is being rational.
I would have done the same thing.
2007-05-30 04:11:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I see no reason to invite her. For one thing, you will be disrespectful to your mother by inviting your cousins' mother to her house. Your cousins should be aware of the relationship between your family and their mother, and it seems unreasonable for them to expect her to be invited. On your wedding day, you should be surrounded by people you love and support you, not people who won't even speak to you.
It will be unfortunate if your cousins decide not to attend, but that is there choice and nothing will change that. I would just let it go. Stick to you decision not to invite her and don't cave to the wishes of others. You are not being a bridezilla in the least! Rather, you are being reasonable and respectful of your immediate family's wishes. Good luck and congrats!
2007-05-30 04:09:27 · answer #5 · answered by Mia1385 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think you are correct in not inviting her, and if your cousin doesn't want to attend there is nothing that you can do about it, but inviting this woman for your cousins benefit, isn't going to make you or your mother happy, stay strong and good luck on your wedding day. It should be the happiest day of your life, and that is the one day where you do get to be a little selfish, so do what you want not what other people want you to do.
2007-05-30 04:06:08 · answer #6 · answered by ***ME*** 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The guests and bridal party are supposed to be people who are supportive of you as an individual and in your new role as a married person. They are also supposed to be people you want to share this special event with, people who love you and care about you, not people who give you bad memories and bad feelings. You are correct not to invite her, especially since she's not married to your uncle any longer. It's your cousins decision to disrespect you but if you haven't seen their mother in over 9 years and she's never been well received in the family (especially in light of the wedding being held at your mother's and her previous relationship with your mother) then she doesn't deserve to be a guest at your wedding. Go and enjoy your wedding with the guests who show up to love and support you. God Bless your new marriage.
2007-05-30 04:14:19 · answer #7 · answered by tersey562 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your wedding is your day. Invite who you want. If you have a good relationship with your cousins you might talk to them in person and let them know that you will understand if they feel they cannot attend under the circumstances. An olive branch to them may keep peace in that relationship. If they love you they will understand that you do not want any discord at your wedding.
2007-05-30 04:13:49 · answer #8 · answered by brotherlove@sbcglobal.net 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I left a lot of people out of my wedding list too. But however, we didnt exclude any certain person from a family. but if she doesnt live there, isnt married to him anymore, then she's not invited, she's not your family anymore, so dont invite her. If her kids cant understand that, well, someday they will. I dont think they wont come just cuz of their mother, Parents split up, it happens, not all parents come to the other parents parties.
My parents are divorced and attended each others weddings, REALLY Strange, so Just dont invite her.
2007-05-30 04:08:07 · answer #9 · answered by mannasox 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding. So its your choice. As long as you can justify your reasoning, without getting personal or drawing on the past, then go for it. We had to make a choice about whether or not to invite my husband's mother. In the end, we did, and were pleased we had. But you need to go with your gut. Especially if your mother doesn't get on with her and its at her house. You don't want her being hassled in her own home, especially on your wedding day.
Most of all, enjoy the day.
2007-05-30 04:08:13 · answer #10 · answered by Jennie B 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋