I've taught all my grandkids to hold open a door for the person behind them, especially when that person has his or her hands full, but I need to ask advice specifically about men opening doors for women. I have always opened doors for my wife. We're very much equal partners in our marriage, so in my mind it's a sign of respect, just one of the little things men do for the women they love to show that they care, and I know that's how she sees it, too, but we're both a bit old-fashioned. Now that my grandson is getting older, he's starting to follow my lead by opening the door for his grandmother, and I've suggested that he do the same for his sister and her friends when they are with us. But now I'm wondering whether I've done the right thing in that last part, whether what is to me a kind gesture will be taken by girls of later generations as offensive. I know from experience that some women see men opening doors for them as a sexist act. Am I teaching him something good or bad?
2007-05-30 03:39:34 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Yes!!! My son is 8 and he is expected to run ahead and open the door for me, and also to hold the door for anyone is coming in immediately after us. I have taught him that it is a "gentlemanly" thing to do, and although it is a bit old fashioned almost everyone is VERY appreciative of this act of kindness.
2007-05-30 05:52:50 · answer #1 · answered by deerogre 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who would find such an obviously caring gesture offensive probably has issues your grandson is best off staying away from! There is the fight for equality and then (most often on the side of men from what I've seen), there is rabid lunacy. Often a man is taller, so holding the door open seems natural. I, as a female, hold the door open for others. Whenever my girlfriend and I go out I open the passenger side door for her (except when she's driving, of course). It gives me even more of an opportunity to smile at her and give her a quick kiss. I adore the woman.
I really don't believe he'll run into many girls or women who find this offensive. It seems to me a very natural and perfectly lovely gesture. There may be a few women who disagree and if so, I'm sure they will tell your grandson so and that he will respect their wishes. You are teaching him to respect others. The door opening is simply one of those lessons. Such simple gestures are so appreciated because they are kind, polite, and empathic in some strange way as well. I know, with you as his grandfather, that all will go well for your grandson!
2007-05-30 15:44:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I open doors for women, and never open doors for men. If there's a guy at the door, I'll go in first and bounce the door a bit so it doesn't shut on the guy, but I try not to be the doorman for guys.
So, regardless of what the women on here are saying.... it IS sexist. It is sexist because we are opening doors for people based on whether their sex is female or male. If it wasn't sexist, we'd all open doors for everyone.
That doesn't make it bad. I think some sexism is good. Opening doors for one. Standing when a woman enters the room is another. Picking things up off the floor when they drop them, and lifting heavy stuff and killing bugs. All that stuff is sexist, but it's just fine with me.
I also buy flowers and gifts for women, and pay for dates. I think those things should be more equal -- fat chance, though. I think women should buy more gifts for us guys and pay for 1/2 the dates. I love it when a woman takes me out, and isn't cheap about it - and does it not because I pay all the time but because she wants to.
2007-05-30 05:09:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not sexist; it's just darn polite for a man to open a door for a lady. I am proud of you for teaching your grandson to open doors for a lady, and I'm certain that a lot of ladies feel the same way. Too many young men lack basic social graces; if more grandfathers (and fathers) were like you, young women would not complain that all the good men are taken.
2007-05-30 04:19:19 · answer #4 · answered by Victoria C 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what women react with?
Women are all messed up these days, self included. Those darned feminists upset the entire emotional and economic scene, and we all can barely afford to stay home with our children if they want to anymore.
So, yes, I taught my son to open doors for me, though at 12 he now begrudges it...
still, he's very courteous with OTHER females... :-)
And you know what?
I'll bet that wife beaters are less likely to have ever been taught to be physically courteous and respectful.
I'll bet that the ones who cheat most frequently are those who weren't taught deference to the woman, who rules the home, as opposed to the house.
I'll bet your grandson will be cherished by the better women out there, who know that no matter what the feminists do, it's almost always the woman who ends up alone with three children to feed... so that a respectful man is likely a good father, and provider, and maybe he's worth taking a chance on!
I'm sure he is, but they'll figure it out, too.
2007-05-30 04:30:24 · answer #5 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're teaching him a great thing! On the contrary, opening doors is not sexist, it shows that a man respects women and wants to make their lives as comfortable as possible. I have no idea how some women can find this act offensive.
2007-05-30 07:17:45 · answer #6 · answered by tertiahibernica 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i like chivalrous youthful men! i do no longer care what each and all the feminists say, yet men are outfitted to be bodily extra advantageous than women human beings. So while a youthful guy supplies to hold a door or carry some thing heavy, he's not implying which you would be able to no longer do it your self, yet that he needs you keep you the worry and make your day flow a sprint smoother. by using fact the darkish a protracted time men have been taught at an early age to place the ladies human beings in the past themselves via going to conflict to guard them, offering foodstuff/earnings for his or her better halves, and so on. concerning he youthful men at your college, i do no longer probable understand why they could try this. have been your uniform skirts short? in step with probability it replaced right into a small fake impact? regardless of the case, that's basically a sprint a slip-up on the lads' section.
2016-11-23 17:52:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I'm sure you do, it is best to teach him to be kind to all.
Open the door for both the men and women behind you or with parcels whenever you can. If a woman holds the door for him, be gracious, step through and say thank you. Dont be awkward about the door situation.
2007-05-30 04:03:07 · answer #8 · answered by G's Random Thoughts 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely doing the right thing. It's not sexist - it's just good manners. I am a woman in my 20's and I hold the door for people as well. I consider it good manners when someone, whether male or female, holds or opens the door for me. Keep up the good work and don't worry about offending people by being too nice! The world needs a little extra kindness ;)
2007-05-30 03:45:26 · answer #9 · answered by Annie 2 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I think it is very respectful. I am in my early 20s and from Texas. My family is old fashioned and I have always seen my father open doors for my mother and my grandparents the same. I used to get offended because I am an independent woman, but I believe that you are doing the right thing by teaching him this thoughtful mannerism. (My husband is only a few years older than myself and he does this for me.)
2007-05-30 03:54:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋