I do love this kid as my own. the thing is that I don't think that he respects nor love my kids since I am so close to my boys.he says he does but his actions says he doesn't. We live like hus/wife and share everything including finances.But he does not like when I help out my boys. Need advice !!!!!!!!!
2007-05-30 02:05:04 · 11 answers · asked by angelie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i wouldn't say leave him becasue you obviously love him, but you need counseling together. he's expecting you to give up your family for his, to him his family is more important. but your kids are your kids, and your entitled to helping them as you see fit as long as it's not putting strain on your finances. if you help your kids you need to help his too. if he can't agree to that or at least agree to seek counseling then you have to chose between him and your boys, and that shouldn't be hard to do. blood is thicker than water.
2007-05-30 02:15:59 · answer #1 · answered by Melissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of step parents don't love their step kids, but my own husband doesn't like it when I do stuff for my son. He thinks he won't learn anything in life if I do 'everything' for him. He's 18 and recently moved back home after a month being with a roommate and does work a 40 hour week. I still do the laundry and my husband resents this, even though I also do my husband's laundry. Your fiance should at least show respect towards your sons. You didn't go into detail, so it's hard to help with your situation. Is this bothering your son at all? That's what matters. If so, then you need to some serious thinking about whether or not you want to take this person's name and have him become a second father to your kids.
2007-05-30 02:16:54 · answer #2 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Fourteen is a rough age to start with. Most teenagers at this age are learning about their selves. Maybe there is a little tension between you two because your not his real mom. He may feel as though your trying too hard to be his "MOM". He may see what you and your children have and is a little jealous of the time you guys share. Time is the most important factor in this situation . But there is no way he needs to continue did respecting you. His father needs to be more involved with him to make up for his mother not being there. Speaking from a step-daughter point of view... most step children are jealous and need a little more love and tenderness to help ease the pain of separation.
2007-05-30 02:23:03 · answer #3 · answered by trish0247 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're not married... you need to get out of the relationship now or seek some serious counseling (together). If he cannot accept your children there will be serious problems in your relationship. No matter how much you love him your children are going to come first... if he can't live with that and love your child like his own you're going to split up eventually anyway and the more time you have together the harder that will be on everyone.
2007-05-30 02:10:16 · answer #4 · answered by joeleus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm quite sure you both knew that children where involved, and apparenly many people forget about the big picture because you are IN LOVE, for you guys to be living as hus/wif you never really looked at the fact of how he treats your children, some people are not step-parent material, not saying that you guys need to break up, but you have to learn to accept people personality, they will respect the children and speak to them, but they will never look at you children like there's.I would like to appaud you for the love that you have for his children, but that's your choice. Good Luck !
2007-05-30 02:13:58 · answer #5 · answered by Arnoldlve 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling first to make a sincere effort at this relationship -
You know the answer to this - you said it yourself - HIS ACTIONS ARE NOT BACKING UP WHAT HE IS SAYING -
your kids deserve to be living in a house where they are loved and respected - start making a plan and getting your own finances in order to make an easier break in the event counseling doesn't work
2007-05-30 02:18:42 · answer #6 · answered by love2smile 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get out of this relationship because he knew you had kids when you met him and if he cannot speak to your children and love your children as you do then he is not the right man for you . I have 2 kids by another man and my husband does love them and speaks to them the way a man is supposed to . My mom told me once that the old saying goes love me ,love my kids and that holds very true .
good luck .
2007-05-30 02:16:35 · answer #7 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be blunt: Some people (man or women) just cant handle thinking about their loved one 'being with' someone else. And unfortunately it causes some sort of 'resentment' toward the children because they are a constant reminder of that past relationship you had.
That is my humble opinion. I wish I could give advise as to what to do ...=( Good Luck!
2007-05-30 02:14:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are your boys...if they are older, some guys just feelt that boys need to be on their own by 18-19.....and that they should be getting help anymore....that is just a guy thing toward they younger ones....if they are younger, like school age still...he might not "love" them as he would his own, but he should respect them, and your wishes for them...if he can't, you need to get away....
2007-05-30 02:23:58 · answer #9 · answered by yetti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you have to communicate with your fiance and those kids and you have to let them know that there is respect and love just pray god will help you try to be close to all of those kids remember communication is the best good luck..
2007-05-30 02:30:10 · answer #10 · answered by LOVE 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋