How did growing up with or without religion affect you when you got older?

Question

I'm not religious, and my boyfriend was when he was younger but now doesn't believe in God. I'm curious to know how religion impacts people. I want to know if you were brought up with it and if you stayed with the same belief throughout life. I want to know, also, if having it or not having it hurt or helped you.

We don't know if we should raise kids with or without religion. We'd like to raise them with it, for morals and such, but we're not sure yet. We both think that morals can be taught in other ways too.

Answer 1

I was brought up Apostolic, and I continue in the same. It has certainly made me a better person. I am very blessed to have grown up the way I did. I guess I won the gene lottery when it comes to my mother.

Answer 2

I was brought up without any religion - my father insisted that things could wait until I was able to make up my own mind. So I wasn't brought up anti-religion either, although Dad wouldn't let me join any associations where you had to be religious to join - which meant that I caught hell from the teachers in infant school as the only girl who didn't go to Sunday school, etc.

Nonetheless Dad was clear about passing on his thoughts about right and wrong - he had a passionate commitment against injustice, and for equality of opportunity, and as he was in a medical profession he also had a passionate commitment to the highest standards. These have stayed with me all my life.

I had - like many people - an adolescent flirtation with religion, which when I look back on it was largely to do with being accepted (and, I'm ashamed to say, the opportunity to feel superior to people who hadn't been 'saved.'). This extreme commitment soon passed and I'm now at a stage - I'm in my sixties - where I have my own personal perspective that would be too complex to share. But I'm very glad that I was brought up as I was, and I would endorse your view that morals can be taught without religion - and I'd go as far as saying that I think that in today's climate of religious extremism it's probably better to teach morals without exposing your children to the kind of fanaticism that's on display at the moment.

Hope that helps.

Answer 3

I grew up with it but abandoned it. I believe a person can have good morals without religion. In fact I know many atheists who are more "Christian" than many Christians. I don't think there is anything wrong with having religion as long as you truly do have love and tolerance for your fellow persons. I think a lot of people claim to be Christian because it's popular, they don't really live the lifestyle and make true Christians look bad. Personally I have found many churches full of hypocrites and people who will kick you when you are down instead of helping you through your problems. If you find a church that doesn't do that, then you are lucky.

Answer 4

That is a really good question and one that I've pondered many times. I grew up in a religious family (Methodist) we went to church every Sunday and spend time with families that were involved in the church. My parents were also active in the church, choir, office work etc. I grew up in a very idealistic way. As I grew up I became disenchanted with 'organized' religion although I do agree the morals taught by Christianity. I have a tweenage son and I've done everything I can to teach him to be respectful, moral, non-judgmental and peaceful but have been at odds, since I'm not religious, as to explain to him why I want him to grow up in this way. He's very perceptive and has asked why we do not go to church but believe in a 'christian' way of life. It's a tough one I must say. But I'll just keep doing what I've been doing and allow him to pursue religion in his own way and time.

Answer 5

I grew up not being taken to church every Sunday but raised by very moral parents. The values have stuck with me pretty much and I have also been a spiritual seeker most of my life. I know some people who were indoctrinated into a religion who have a lot of hangups about it. So go the way of the happy medium, if you know what I mean...

Answer 6

I was forced to go to Sunday School while my mom was alive. Dad never went to church, since he said that going out in his plane brought him closer to God than any Church. I thought that made perfect sense, because he could go really high in his plane. :)

We stopped going to church when I was about 6. When I was about 12 I wanted a change and started reading a lot of occult nonsense. I quickly stumbled onto Paganism, and have been studying it ever since. I'm quite happy and normal, thank you. My dad was very supportive, even though he's agnostic at best.

Don't worry about morals. Children pick them up from watching how their parents behave. It has nothing to do with religion. I learned to be a good person from my dad, not from my Christian roots or from studying Paganism.

Answer 7

I was raised a Catholic, and still am. A lot of the things I was taught by my parents were contradictions because I was taught one thing and my parents did the other. Making this very confusing as a child.
I am raising my children also as Catholics, but I chose to live by the things that I teach them. This is important to me that my kids understand that we aren't alone in this world..
My 7 year old son asked me yesterday, "Mom, if I prayed to God, will he answer me if I asked him something." I said, "It depends on what you ask him, sometimes He says no." He said back to me, "Well then God is like you, sometimes you say no to me too."

:) I feel that this is an important part of childhood.

Answer 8

I was raised Roman Catholic and hated it. All the ceremony and none of the feeling of belonging to something bigger than all of us. When I was 36 I went to a men's group meeting at a church my wife attended. I heard what those men said and realized that I had an emptiness inside that I thought was just a normal feeling.

I found Jesus Christ and don't have that feeling anymore. It is a personal thing and my girls (6 & 8), go to church with me. You are right, morals need to be taught everywhere, but thats not why I take my kids to church.

I want them to build the groundwork for a lifelong walk with Christ. I want them to know that God loves them and that he listens to their prayers. I talk to them often about the power of prayer and how God has moved in my life.

I think it is important for them to have that belief and faith.

Answer 9

I grew up in the Catholic faith attending Catholic School most of my life. I practiced my religion off and on through my lifetime especially in times of need. I feel that it gave me the basis of my moral behavior. There were pitfalls of course. As for my children, even though I sent them to religious training, we were not a practicing family. I taught them good judgment, ethical behavior, and charity. Each one of them is a fine individual who believes in a supreme being but not an organized religion. I gave them a choice and this is what they chose. As for me, in the later years of my life, I have become devote again and it is a great comfort

Answer 10

My mom was mormon, and my dad was catholic. I would always try to go to church with my dad, because he would just go to mass (and then they had donuts afterward). Plus their churches tend to be fancier. My mom would drag me along for three hours, and even though it wasn't that bad of a church - three hours of anything gets a little redundant. I started sneaking out and walking home after a little while of that.

They tried to reconcile their differences of religion - and my dad went to the mormon church for a while, but eventually they split up when I was older.

I realized even way back then that I didn't believe in any of the stuff that either church taught. During high school I hung out with a christian girl (she wouldn't be my 'girlfriend' because I refused to get 'saved'), but I tagged along to dozens of different churches with her, some of which were extremely wacked out - people babbling in 'tongues', dancing around, etc. - there were a few places where by the end of the service the entire congregation would be up in the front of the church crying and recommitting themselves to jesus and whatnot. I would be the only one still sitting in the back.

I spent a long time basically being anti-christian, though eventually I came to respect peoples beliefs (even though I still don't like the idea of them filling their childrens heads with fear and propaganda). If someone chooses to believe in something - and it makes their life fuller or helps them through the hard times, then more power to them.

For myself, I just try to learn everything I can - there is some wisdom and truth in most religions, they just refuse to put the pieces together. I don't believe in the concept of god as a deity or a being. More like the sum total of everything in the universe. I have been happy, and successful - remembering the important things, like family, friends, and music.

Answer 11

I was bought up without religion, and i spent the next 20 years trying to find a faith that fits my beliefs! Which i have i am now a Wiccan and feel like i have come home!
My husband was the son of a sunday school teacher....no he hates christianity with a passion, loves his mum, but hates the bible !
Ariel