ive just watched a chatshow with jason biggs from 'american pie', and its made me really depressed to see

Question

someone who appears to have a perfect life, with happiness, who gets his needs met..even the woman chatshow presenter was grinning with him and laughing as she interviewed him, while he talked about his success, with girls, films his life.
he looks so young and freshed faced..
and heres me im 29, had bpd since 16, borderline personality disorder, ive suffered a huge amout of trauma and unhappiness in my life, ive never had friends or a steady relashionship, i have very low self esteem, ive been bullied alot through my life, i have ptsd symptoms as well, problems with rage, very bad depressive moods everyday, i live alone in a one bedroom apartment, i only have my mom for support in my life..im ageing prematurly..so i have huge amounts to work through, im presently waiting on some therapy..
and it hurts to see someone with a perfect life, with a huge grin, whos enjoying their life getting their needs met..
this really cuts deep,because my lifes never been that way & thats never

happened to me..

does anyone know how i can get over feeling like this?

Answer 1

There's a word for this kind of hurt. It's called envy. People have envy when their life is inadequate compared to what they see in someone else.

The thing about such inadequacy is that it's relative, not absolute. It may seem trite to talk about counting your blessings, but there is truth to that. You have what you need to survive. Not everyone does. Your apartment is a mansion compared to sleeping in the street or to how many poor people lived hundreds of years ago. I suspect you don't have to scrounge for food or fear physical violence around every corner.

There are people in considerably more pain than you are, whether physical pain or emotional pain. One way to impress that on your psyche is to go volunteer. I volunteer for a charity that helps the needy. I wouldn't trade my life for anyone's life I see there, not one.

Yet I feel the same way as you do sometimes if I see some show touring a celebrity's house. It would be nice to afford whatever I felt like as far as food or vacations. I would like that. God and I both know how grateful I would be to win such huge amount of money, yet it hasn't happened. I think that's just luck, not destiny. There are circumstances that shaped my life. There were at least a couple of genetic illnesses, an angry family, my having been born to biological parents who were married, but not to each other, my stumbling into an alcoholic spouse, picking a bad career for having such burdens. Life is about the luck of the draw. I drew more than an average amount of burdens for one life, but I'm so much better off than those who drew an even shorter straw. Plus I have genetic talents as well as illnesses that make it even better.

No matter what station someone has in life, he or she can be miserable. Look at Michael Jackson's nose. He was envious for some perfection he had in mind. Even with all his money he couldn't make that happen.

There is joy in every life. If you find some joy in having a mother, then cherish that. Some people have no one. You can find joy in having a home and a television when some have neither.

However many joys anyone has like that, though, he or she can look at them and say, "It's not enough. I want more." Of course they do. That's desire that most of us have. Part of that is expressed as envy most of us have. Anyone with envy can beat that back by comparing themselves to those worse off instead of to those better off. We have what life has given us, for better and for worse, the sweet and the sour, the freedom and the constraints. Everyone has moments of saying it's not enough. Some get stuck on that feeling. You can get out of it if you want. You can work at getting better, little by little, channeling your rage into determination to keep that going. You can count your blessings that you're not starting from an even deeper hole. You can volunteer and help those who are in an even deeper hole than you.

You have to tire enough of your envy to do something about it. That's one thing it takes.

Answer 2

Yes, I think that therapy would be good. I know it may sound cliche, but you will always feel lousy comparing yourself with celebrities. That's why I really don't pay attention to them. Think of the BILLIONS of people that have it worse than you. Living in the US, you already have it better than 90% of the rest of the population. You live in an apartment- not a tent in Darfour. Your mom is alive and there to help you. Lots of positives in your life. I would also say that getting involved in a church or a volunteer organization might help you see that YOU can make a difference in other people's lives. That is always a wonderful self esteem booster.

And, you never know- even if it appears that someone has a "perfect life", there could be really bad stuff in the background. Especially in the life of celebrities. Good luck. You can make a difference in the world if you try.

Answer 3

Make different choices in your life! Your life and your reality starts within your own mind...change your mind and you WILL change your reality. You don't think it's this simple, but it is! This is how people live a charmed life...by attitude. Put your mind in a more positive frame of mind and you'll see all your problems leave you one by one and you'll find a life that you've always wanted! If you say "I can't because of bpd" then you've already defeated yourself. You CAN do anything you want to do! The only limitations we have are the ones we put on ourselves.

Answer 4

Has it ever occured to you that they are actors, who will never know themselves. You can at least say who you are and what you feel, and there are people who will listen and care because they love you (just for being you). Can you imagine being surrounded by people who only want to know you because you are rich and famous, who don't care whether you are happy or sad, who don't care if you are dead or alive, but only that they can make themselves look good off all the hard work that you have done. I think that the saddest thing is that no-one wants to know them as a person, they only want to know them as the last part they played. I think that you are one of the strong lucky people, who can stand up and say this is who i am, like it or not, the ones who dont like it are not worth knowing anyway. No-one needs fair weather friends. Good luck with your therapy.

Answer 5

i know how you feel. I sit and watch those people too and wonder why i cant at least feel how they feel on their bad day. I cant get over my hostility/rage/depression and I am on zoloft. I would like to see a therapist but when your depressed it is hard to take that step and get off the couch. Im sorry that life has been a negative experience for you. I think that a therapist will help you take the steps to hopefully enjoy YOUR life. If you ever need to talk I am at [e-mail]. good luck

Answer 6

Do not look on others life,you have your own one and you can do with it whatever you want-isn't it exciting!?There will always be people who are richer,more succesful,prettier...don't waste your time to envy or be sad because of it...
Try to be happy for what you have and try to improve it if you are not completely satisfied-you can,you have this power.I am sure you will be much happier as soon as you realise that you can change the way you live and you think.
Wish you good luck.

Answer 7

Who makes a decision what's blasphemy? The song makes use of Christian references very virtually casually, and that constitutes blasphemy for many. The lyrics are so densely full of references that have diverse meanings that McLean could no longer have been doing something casual in it. The 'Father, Son and Holy Ghost' are the '3 men i take exhilaration in maximum', which argues against a private (to McLean) counter-Christian interpreting yet does *enable* for the translation that it references society's circulate faraway from usually taking place faith. a question right here is how lots the song is principally with regard to the 60s counter-lifestyle and how lots of it somewhat is approximately adjustments in society frequently. yet i think of this is extra of a passing remark contained in the song. My effect is that if McLean could desire to probably imbed better than one that ability/reference in a observe or line, he did. i think of the *standard* use of non secular imagery is the passing of the sense of actuality and ease (the united statesa. of apple pies) because of the fact the counter-lifestyle era lost the desire that they could have the means to deliver forth considerable and significant exchange. for many childrens, song had replaced faith because of the fact the flexibility during which social values have been reported and transmitted, even though it hadn't succeeded in bringing with regard to the was hoping for utopia. The musicians (and perchance political figures (Kennedy, King and Kennedy) who have been exhibiting the valuable way forward had died, offered out or broken up - Dylan went electric powered, then stopped traveling after an accident, then refused to place in writing protest songs; the Beatles ("All you desire is Love") disbanded and the Stones ("Sympathy for the devil") grew to alter into the main influential working band, the features of the Civil Rights circulate have been overshadowed by employing race riots in numerous cities in the process the summer time of 'sixty seven, whilst Haight-Asbury exchange into heaving with the "summer time of love". study verse 6 with that final in techniques. Neither song nor faith had a answer for the ongoing social issues.

Answer 8

Hey buddy.....I just want to say one thng...u r nevr the only person who goes thro tough times..evry human being does...even Jason who appears all happy and who probably has everythng tht defines joy and happiness..who knoes wht he really wants in life..who knoes if he really is happy....Dark periods in onez life is impossible to avoid but they can be made easier.U might 've hrd ths a lot but it is soo true wen ppl say light follows darkness..So the one thng a person is fortunate enuf to have in his life is not money,not women neithr is it fame ..but it is hope....very few ppl in this wrld have the strenght to hope that gud days r yet to come..but i'm sure that ur one of the fortunate ones who do kno to hope....Always b ambitious in life...care less bout the wrld around u and more bout urself..Ur the ruler of ur kngdom honey...noone can compete with u if u'll luv urself...and gradually wen u do strt lovin urself ,trust me,every single soul u'd meet frm thn will strt to fall in luv with u ....so prepare to strt a new and a fresh chaptr,thnk different and u'll find ur life is different..i'll pray for u...luv u...

Answer 9

Everybody in the world has a borderline personality disorder when they sit around in front of the boob tube (television).

Stop being a hermit, feeling sorry for himself, and go out there and mingle!!!!

There's a broad sitting at the waiting room for therapy, and she ain't ugly either. GET TO IT!!

And screw Jason Biggs. That's just his stage name anyways.

Answer 10

i know how you feel. I am 27 and I have anxiety, panic attacks, OCD, I am a hypochondriac and I have agorophobia. I feel like my life is never going to get any better and I hate living like this. I wish I could give you some advice to help you but I can barely help myself. I just wanted you to know that I do know how you feel. Good luck and hope you feel better soon