my children in their late 40s insist i stay and put alot of pressure on me. i've lost me inthe process. suddenly discovering that my life has been controlled for far too long. married my wife at 24 yrs she was 40 yrs old. Now at 50 i want to start living. she won't let me go without a fight she said. help
2007-05-29 20:21:33 · 8 answers · asked by wings 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you have been unhappy for some years now that is a bit to long for me your kids are all grown up and they should not ask you to stay in a relationship where they know that you are not happy and as for her tell her that she had you for a long time now and that you don't feel the same for her anymore and that you have lost who you used to be and that you both deserve to be happy and staying in the relationship would only hurt you both and make both of you miserable and if she don't want to give you up with out a fight than give her that fight its worth your happiness well that's my opinion
2007-05-29 20:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by Valley Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad to say but you need to be brutally honest with your wife. That's if you haven't already. Let her know that there is nothing worth fighting for. Ask her why would she want to stay married to a man who has no interest in carrying on the rest of his life with her. Does she not realize that by her holding on and trying to make you stay will definitely make you resent her??? I don't wanna be cruel, but if you really wanna get out of this relationship, you need to be BLUNT with your feelings. Your children are adults now. I'm sure their hearts are in the right place for mom but the fact of the matter is this is YOUR life. The best thing you can do if she doesn't want to listen is to just go and file for divorce. You don't need her permission to do that. I'm sure you're in a tough situation especially because of your kids. Bottom line, they need to respect and understand your choice. Ask them if they would feel a lot better if you stayed with mom, yet live every day of your life unhappy and resenting their mother. Ask them if they will be enjoying coming over for holidays and you again...are still unhappy because you are with their mother. Will they be happy knowing that their parents marriage is fake, and that their father really doesn't want to be with their mother??
I truly wish you the best. And I'm wondering how old you were when you were a father??? Your kids are in their 40's???
2007-05-30 03:37:22 · answer #2 · answered by glittereyedg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you are 50, yet your children are in their late 40s? Doesn't add up. Are these your children, or hers? Your wife sounds like a bully, and you seem to be afraid of her. If you want to leave, pack your bags and leave. And if she wants a fight, let the games begin!
2007-05-30 03:39:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO ONE can tell you what to do with you're life.And NO ONE can tell you how to feel.You hit it on the nose when you said you're life has been controlled far too long,And she's still controlling you.If you're not happy,you are the only one that can do something about it.And you should.Don't let anyone bully you into doing something you don't want to.Live you're life and be happy for once.And don't worry about hurting you're wife and kids.You've done you're part.They are all grown and they will get over it just like you did.Life is too short to be miserable.The best of luck to you and God bless.
2007-05-30 03:33:08 · answer #4 · answered by mygrandparentsrthebestintheworld 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like my doppleganger . I feel the same way Ive been controlled all throughout my marriage . I want to be free to do the things I want to do . She is jealous all the time for no reason and she thinks the reason I want to be free is I have another woman but I just want to get me a one room apt and live by myself and do things I could not do before just on my own!
2007-05-30 03:27:06 · answer #5 · answered by wishingstar5555 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame her. You also took her best years. How will she be able to move on? She is too old to have to start over again. Get marriage counseling.
By the way, how in the world can your children be in their late forties, when you are only 50? Sounds like you are lying about something.
2007-05-30 03:29:15 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your wife is 66 years old and you only 50? Wow
2007-05-30 03:53:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children are grown, you got to live for yourself, and if she won't let you be yourself then you should start living and find that person you once was. Be happy that is what this life is about, got to make it worth living.
2007-05-30 03:27:58 · answer #8 · answered by Shylia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋