Ok I have been with my husband for over 2 years and love him very much. Last year we found out we were going to be parents and he was very excited. But since we found out I was pregnant he stopped being intimate with me. At first I thought it was the whole pregnancy thing but its been a year and we've had the baby and still nothing. He is effectionate thats it, Ive caught him with text messeges from other women talking about sex. He says that he doesnt consider that cheating and he likes to play with that fantasy. Im not a timid women and I am used to a once a day love schedule, I have men hitting on me and its almost tempting. Ive tried talking to him and I get a variety of excuses but still nothing has changed. He is a great daddy to our 2 month old but in the husband role he is lacking, is he trying to loose me or what? I dont know whats going on with him but Im not sure I can take much more of this, what should I do?
2007-05-29 19:31:47 · 9 answers · asked by lil_mis_all_my_t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What is the definition of cheating??
Is he cheating you out of something or is he cheating himself out of something. Sounds like maybe he's a little lonely and feels left out since you probably spend alot of time with the baby and don't have as much time for him as you used to.
Maybe he is trying to catch your attention---HE DID!
Maybe put the baby to sleep and wear a nice negligae (lingerie) and bring out the baby oil and ask him if he would like a back massage and then maybe throw in a little something kinky or something that you may have read on his sex text. Blow his mind a little and talk about his fantasies and yours. Communicate and see what happens. You do have a family now and he will be in your life forever being married or divorced, wouldn't it be nice to stay together instead??
Best wishes for you and yours.
Truthfully it sounds like he is cheating himself out of precious time with the mother of his child. I really wouldn't like it much either if I found what you saw on my computer either, don't get me wrong I wouldn't take it lightly, but talk with him and ask him if it would hurt his feelings if you did something similar??
2007-05-29 19:52:22 · answer #1 · answered by cruisingalong 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens, but some men change when their partner has a baby. Is this normal? NO NO NO not normal
He is seeing you as a mother and no longer his sexual partner. He needs to get some counseling.
Also, texting is cheating. He is giving his time and attention to another woman is cheating you of time and affection.
Get the baby out of the house for the night ( you know at Grandma's or something)
Tell your husband that this is a night of passion and you expect this to be a memorable night. Then give him a night to remember.
If he continues to ignore you and live in his fantasy world, then get counseling on your own. I believe marriage is a life time commitment. But, please don't spend years and years struggling with this. If he can't treat you like a wife, then you don't have a marriage.
2007-05-29 19:45:23 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE be a little more patient with him. Don't jump to conclusions too early. I'm a dad-to-be, my wife is approaching her 9th month of pregnancy and towards the later part of her pregnancy, i began to have some withdrawal symptoms. I guess i began looking at her as a mother and kind of fragile. Our sex-life reduced a bit. I think I was only getting used to seeing her with a big belly. I'm sure after her delivery, we'll pick up again. BUT, i am certainly uncomfortable with the "texts" your husband receives from other women. I wont encourage that AT ALL...
2007-05-31 04:06:07 · answer #3 · answered by Femi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's tough. Maybe ask him how he would feel if you were talking to other men about sex online. I would never encourage a couple to seperate but at some point the chatting is going to get to you. Trust will always be an issue. You can tell that a man is willing to change if he is remorceful and willing to take the steps to show you how much he loves you by constantly reaffirming to you that his love is genuine.
2007-05-29 19:54:09 · answer #4 · answered by meahmoe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like he wants to end it but that whole fantasy sex texting sounds very creepy i think most women would be disturbed by that and consider that cheating in itself. I would probably drop him but it really depends on whether you believe your relationship is worth fighting for or not.
2007-05-29 19:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by nobody 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try counseling if money is tight try a local church for free marriage counseling or support groups. PLEASE get help with this or it will not end try something new maybe some role play, costumes, sexy lingerie, or porn its worth a shot
2007-05-29 20:07:10 · answer #6 · answered by luv2givadvice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is cheating
2007-05-30 02:52:11 · answer #7 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to hit the road.....he is cheating!
2007-05-30 00:51:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to call cheaters
2007-05-29 19:45:53 · answer #9 · answered by mocha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋