What will happen with custody? Our court date for custody is July 31st...details follow:?

Question

My sons father and I never married. My son is almost 5 months old, the father moved out over 2 months ago permanently. He left me many times during the pregnancy. For about 2 weeks after he moved out, he was watching the baby--all while complaining he had to get out of work early so I could get to my job in time, then hounding me all night about when I would be done. Then he finally told me to find other arrangements, leaving me scrambling on a Monday to find reliable care beginning the very next day. Well, he filed for joint custody. He has been keeping the baby on Saturday nights, when there is no scheduling conflict. I filed for child support b/c he said he didn't see any reason to help me out with housing,etc. So for the time being, we agreed he would pay 1/2 insurance and 1/2 daycare, which came to $90/week. At our first child support meeting, he refused to pay for the daycare, citing that he could keep the baby, and that it was unnecessary. So, now it goes to a master's hearing.

So, the first custody hearing is july 31, and the second support hearing is a few days later. He wants joint custody (even though I don't think he knows what that means). By that time, I will have been supporting my son and his child care by myself for over 4 months. Can a judge order me to take him out of daycare, even if our times meshed--which they do not?? He has since said he can get out of work earlier, but refuses to show proof of that, or discuss it "until we go to court". He also threatens/"jokes" that he might even get full custody and I'll be paying HIM money. He also joked that I shouldve been paying him to babysit our son anyway, since he was "doing me a favor" those 2 weeks.... help!

The $90/week is what WE agreed before the first support meeting--he refused to pay any more. At that meeting, even though they threw out the daycare costs (which he was paying me before this), he pays $120/week. I told him that by august, with arrears, he could end up paying almost $800/month. He laughed of course.

I'm not a child--I'm 31. I also have a 9 year old who lives out of state right now. But thanks for making me feel so young!

Answer 1

Courts/judges do NOT always act in the best interest of the child although they should. The person who is the most prepared stands a better chance.
Child support is not his "choice" and is based on both parent's income. Is the $90 a court order? Was an assessment done and it calculated by your states formula? Log on to Superior Court in you state and read up on it.
Visitation is not connected to child support. The child has the right to know both parents and unless you have some serious doubts that he is irresponsible with the baby then he does have the right to see her/him. Joint custody doesn't necessarily mean he gets the baby 50% of the time, it means you both make decisions on the child health care, school etc. Some people do have a half/half sharing with the kid bouncing back and forth and others have mom being custodial parent. Many judges assume an infant is better off with the mother, even though some men are great dads.

Answer 2

He is a very immature individual, but so are you. I wish children would stop having babies, & wait until they grow up 1st.
Anyway, I think he is trying to manipulate you into thinking that you will lose custody if you fight him for support in the hope that you will give up.
Stick to your guns, & hold him accountable as the father of your child.
What will happen with custody? The courts will act in THE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD. If either of you are trying to run your own agenda the Judges in these cases are usually pretty good at seeing through all of that & will rule accordingly whether it is the way you like it or not.
I suggest that you make sure that you have your kids best welfare in mind when you go to court on July 31st, & then you & the courts will be on the same page.
If your childs father does the same, then...end of problem.

Answer 3

I assume you have an Attorney. You need to follow his advice.

If you don't have an attorney, get one now.

The first thing should be a letter from your Attorney to your ex via certified mail warning him to cease and desist with his threats. He should be told that the Court case is off-limits for discussion and that all communication must go through your Attorney and your ex's.

A relative of mine had a similar situation that was handled as I suggest and all the threats stopped.

Finally, trust the Judge. Any good Judge can see through phony claims and will do what is best for the child.

Jim DeSantis

Answer 4

What a bum. He only pays $90 a week? Sheez.

The judge will decide what is fair. Never mind what your piece of crap boyfriend says.