Husband and I are in a weird spot... I told him that I don't feel the spark that I once felt and that maybe we should go away one weekend with out anyone...and he said no he would rather spend time with his friend.......it felt like he ripped my heart out... what are your thoughts?
2007-05-29 13:15:08 · 20 answers · asked by lbruemmer28 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Remind him you are his wife and more important than his friend. If he persists, remind him that you scrub the tracks out of his underwear and ask if his friend would do that for him too.
Who is more important in this relationship?
2007-05-29 13:19:47 · answer #1 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the sounds of it, your husband has lost the spark as well. If he is out right telling you he would rather spend a weekend with his friends than you, that alone says he has no interest in finding that spark again. Unless hearing what you said hurt him and he was just lashing out or trying to hurt you back. You know your husband better than anyone. I think spending a weekend alone together is a good start, but both have to be willing to do it. If he is not willing to do anything to work it out, than maybe you should take the weekend yourself and figure things out such as why the spark left in the first place.
2007-05-29 13:25:27 · answer #2 · answered by CARM 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think all relationships have ups and downs. This could be a down. Just because he said that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Maybe he shows it in a different way.
Instead of a weekend away, maybe just a night away. Start off small. If not that, then maybe lunch. If all you are looking for is to spend more time with him then maybe this is what you need.
2007-05-29 13:42:44 · answer #3 · answered by smileygurl80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plan a weekend getaway for the 2 of you. Don't tell him where you both are heading. Not all men can think that far ahead to plan a "go away" together kind of thing. Don't plan something around a big game (if he is into sports) that will only create a lot of tension. And is this a male friend he is hanging out with?
2007-05-29 13:21:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre doing allyou can to save your marriage andsometimes our best is never quite enough. He needs to realize what youre trying to do here is for him too.Some guys are really slow in developing the whole picture so you just may have to spell it out for him. It almost sounds as if he doesnt want to be married anymore for whaever reason.Youre right in your feelings but only you at this point can tellmore about where things stand in the marriage and decide just how far youre willing to go before enough is enough and move on. Staying in a one-sided mrriage serves no good for all involved but only you can decide that. Good luck
2007-05-29 13:25:46 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, maybe the way you proposed it was hurtful to him, and he wanted to hurt back at you. Perhaps you should read Dr. Laura's Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and see if you can try a different approach to get the responses you want. Sometimes it just takes a different approach is all. To continue to beat him over the head with this won't help....so try something different.
2007-05-29 13:26:25 · answer #6 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Up the ante, make sure he knows that he will be "greatly" rewarded. Sometimes when we only see the hassle or the money that is involved with going away; and we forget the obvious rewards that goes along with a romantic weekend. Hope that helps, good luck.
2007-05-29 13:25:03 · answer #7 · answered by Tim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let this rest for a while and bring up the subject again in the near future (this time without the "no sparks" comment)
2007-05-29 13:23:50 · answer #8 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As we get more comfortable in our relationships that is when the lust part of a relationship does slowly disappear, that does not necessarily mean the relationship is lost or gone it is just going to the next level. He is trying to balance his life with his friends and with you, in this instance, but then again if this a reoccurring theme then I would say the party is over.
2007-05-29 13:32:06 · answer #9 · answered by Pengy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as his reponse being unreasonable, you may examine your approach. If you suddenly popped that kind of question to a man, he is put on a defensive mode wondering if his manhood is challenged. There is no manual for this emotional stuff so most men are at a loss although they can't admit to that either.
2007-05-29 13:30:19 · answer #10 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to him about it once more. Let him know that you love him and want to make sure that your marriage keeps the excitement that once drew the two of you together. If he continues to refuse it might be a good idea to see a marriage counselor on your own.
2007-05-29 13:24:41 · answer #11 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋