I'm gay but I'm against gay adoption, is that OK?

Question

It seems like everything in the gay community is made into a political issue now. People want rights just for the sake of rights, even if they don't really care what those rights mean.

I don't believe in gay marriage or marriage full stop. Most people get divorced nowadays and most people are too selfish to make a marriage work. I can understand wanting the legal rights associated with a civil partnership but nor marriage. I've voiced this view to some gay friends and they couldn't understand my view. Just because we are gay, we don't all have the same views and I resent the zealots in the gay community who expect us to. The same happened with feminism; at its core the ideas were good, but some pushed too far and now most women want to disassociate themselves with the term.

Just to make it clear, marriage doesn't really affect anyone else, so I'm not against gay marriage, as people can do what they like. It just isn't for me. However, adoption is different. It is hard enough to grow

up without gay parents. I wouldn't have wanted gay parents and too many people think they can do what they like on a whim. When there are other people involved, it isn't just you to consider. This isn't an issue about whether they can be good parents but It isn't fair to add that burden to a child's life.

I can assure you that I am definitely gay!! I repeat NOT EVERYONE HAS THE SAME OPINION. Again, gay people can be good parents and I'm sure there are cases where it works well. There are also many straight people who shouldn't be parents, as parenthood should be seen as a a privilege and not a right.

I am not trying to impose my views on anyone. I am just stating my opinion.

Well, you have answered my question: it isn't OK to have another opinion. I'm not against ALL gay adoption but in many cases, I would be. The gay community seems to want easy answers and cheap slogans and if that's what you want, then fine. I am basing this on the fact that I wouldn't have wanted gay parents. Maybe if being gay was seen as normal in society, then it would be no different to having straight parents. Perhaps a certain amount of political activity is needed to make this happen, I accept that. However, as it stands now, I think it would be hard on the child.

Just before I choose a best answer, I'd like to thank everyone who answered with a bit of dignity because you were few and far between. Many of you are hypocrites, as you want the freedom to believe and do what you want but you won't accept MY freedom to believe what I want. Yes, I'm gay but I'm not defined by it like so many of you seem to be. You need to grow up and stop censoring gay people who don't turn everything into a political issue. If you are too strident, you will just end up turning people away from your cause. I hope you think on that the next time you get the urge to be a self-righteous jackass.

Answer 1

I am gay and I was raised with 2 moms my mom is a lesbian and I am so sick of people giving the arguement that the children will get made fun of for having gay parents... I am 27 years old so this was back in the 80's that I was growing up... I am half white and puerto rican and I was in a school district that was mostly low income black and spanish kids... my mother prepaired me to get made fun of for having a gay parent and you know what it never happened... I was made fun of for being chubby I was made fun of for being white and never once did I get made fun of for having a lesbian mother... and this is almost 2 decades ago... now when I was in highschool and I came out as gay I got the typical bs that most gay kids have in highschool and I dealt with it and I survived and did very well for myself and If I can get myself where I am today and my mother gave me the strength to get here whos to say it wouldnt be that much easier today...

now marriage the best arguement that I heard is that no one should get marriage liscenses from the government as that sends the message that the government sponsers marriage which is a religious institution with seperation of church and state the governtment should give civil unions to all people and then the chuch will decide who it will and will not marry and at the same time bolth gay and straight couples will have the same legal rights provided by the government ...

Answer 2

Your opinion is your opinion and you are entitled to it. I personally don't agree with it as a transperson in a lesbian relationship raising my son, (and an adoptee to boot) but that's my reason for disagreeing. I have seen children in straight households that have horrid lives, and in gay households as well that aren't doing so well. Any orientation can be a crappy parent or a good one. To go to the point however in which you would want to stop someone from being a parent because they are in a gay commited relationship is pretty close minded. Consider the number of children looking for homes that could be brough into a loving gay household. Certainly not all the straight households out there are taking them all in. I know that I was lucky enough to be adopted into a loving family as a child and although they were straight, I would have embraced gay parents just as much and I can assure you I would still be who I am today. If any child has an opportunity to be in a loving stable home enviornment and part of a family then it is a crime to deny that to them because the people providing that are gay. Why make that child suffer a life of foster homes, orphanages, and no stability? Denying gay adoption is denying the opportunity for a better life to countless children in need of homes. You can call me an extremist but if we continue denying rights for one group of people who is to say that next it won't be group "X" or "Y" losing rights? But above all the bottom line is the children and any loving home is better than no home at all.

Answer 3

You know what, at first I was going to explode at you,but your right. This battle we are constantly fighting is turning political.

I can undestand that having homosexual parents would be really hard for a kid in school, but I think that some people just want to prove that a kid having gay parents can still be normal and that is why we are fighting for it.

I for one would like to adopt, but I could understand the torture he/she would go through at school just becaus of the fact that I would be a gay parent.

But, if we do win this battle, and get all the same rights as everyone else, we could become more openly accepted by society. So, if we are our adopted children would not face the same situations that we faced growing up.
This is a big reason that we are fighting also and probably the best reason for it.

Well, it's something to think about.

Answer 4

You're entitled to your opinion, and you probably have a better perspective than most others. But one datum does not make a trend. I know a pair of gay men who are raising 2 of the 3 kids he fathered when he was married. OK, I guess that makes that one bi, but they are living as a gay couple at the moment. They are fully committed to each other, bicker like a married couple, and totally dote on the kids, even though they are all college age. I think a lot of kids are treated worse than these two are.

So if you don't think it's right for you - don't do it. But why should you oppose two people who can and will do a good job of raising kids that might otherwise grow up in an orphanage? That certainly can't be good for the kids, either.

Answer 5

Hey Arnold -- you're going to run into plenty of prejudice and hatred along with your query. I salute your braveness for asking it, and rejoice that you've 2 distinctive mum and dad. People are towards homosexual adoption considering the fact that: a) they consider -- incorrectly -- that homosexuality is come what may contagious, and that youngsters followed by way of a homosexual character will mechanically effect in a homosexual little one. b) they consider -- incorrectly -- that homosexual folks are little one molestors, which fits absolutely towards the information that, simply, the sizeable majority of little one molestations are dedicated by way of heterosexuals. (so, established in this, probably heterosexuals will have to now not be allowed to undertake?) c) they consider that homosexuality is "sinful". But this can be a hypocritical role considering the fact that a character who divorces and remarrries is obviously committing adultery (as outlined by way of each the Old Testament and the New Testament). So if a character goes to take a "devout" role on adoption, then additionally they must deny adoption for folks who've divorced and remarried. (or probably even couples who've divorced and remarried will have to have their youngsters taken away??? I imply, if "dwelling in sin" is this type of huge deal... correct? RIGHT???) It's bigotry. Hateful bigotry.

Answer 6

That's good you have your own opinion and if you don't think gay people should adopt, then don't. Some gay people however want to have children, I think they should be allowed too. It is hard to grow up but I think the problem is with society, not gay people. If homosexuality wasn't despised like it is and accepted just as much as heterosexuality, then there would be no problem.

Answer 7

Absolutely anything which denies me the same rights and priviledges enjoyed by the majority heterosexual community is homophobic and should be rectified by law and eventually cultural acceptance.

Busing African American children to schools in white neighborhoods in the 50s, 60s, and 70s had that exact affect. It forced people to begin to accept that minority.

If it worked then, it can work now.

Answer 8

Why would you be against giving a child who needs a loving home one with people who are willing to raise it regardless of their sexual orientation? That's the part I'm not getting.

I understand everything else in your arguement, I agree with it from the zealots to the feminism movement. I'm not against allowing suitable couples or singles to adopt simply because of their sexual orientation though.

Believe what you feel is right, that's your right.

Answer 9

This is a very bigot question, if you can even call it a question at all. It's fair to say that nobody thinks you're really gay. Just another hater.

Don't you have anything better to do with your life?

At least you won't adopt which is great news for all children of the world. Get a life. Spend less time on the computer pushing your one sided views. Reported.

Answer 10

I find the idea of gay adoption uncomfortable too. If I one day marry another man, I don't think I'd want children in the relationship. It makes for so many issues of discomfort in school for the kid. Imagine being ousted socially for being the kid with two daddies? I can see that potentially crippling a child socially for a long time. I'm not against it as a policy though. I'm against it for me.