I have lived with my wife for three years. When we first met she was needy, clingy, emotional, jealous, quick tempered and would spend hours anguished over some imagined slight, such as "Someone has not returned my call I made 10 mins ago, they hate me". I told her that if she wanted us to go anywhere then she had to stop all this. It took a while but the next two years where fantastic and things went from strenght to strenght. WE got engaged, we have been married less than a month and she has gone straight back to the emotional mess she was years ago. I think I may have made a mistake....
2007-05-29 11:10:18 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would first try talking to her and explain your concerns in a nonthreatening way. If the problem continues I would try counseling. I think since there was a commitment on both of your parts, your relationship deserves a fair fight. Marriage is not easy by any means..
2007-05-29 11:19:09 · answer #1 · answered by Squirrel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A word to the wise.... PEOPLE DO NOT CHANGE.
This is usually true. They can if they really want to, but not that fast, and most times, not on their own. However, in your case, if things looked good for two years, you got snowed, and that's not really all your fault. All you can do now is deal with it. You have to sit her down and have that same talk you had with her a long time ago about this. Suggest some counseling, and/or a doctor's visit. It's possible she's manic depressent, OCD, or bi-polar. If she cares, she'll listen. She want to get help. Let her know while you love her, and will stand by her if she shows she's willing to get help, you will not wait forever, or take two steps backwards. AND MEAN IT. Idle threats do not mean a thing unless you're ready to back it up with action. If she won't hear it, and won't get help, then you need to take a long look at if you want to live this way or not, and act accordingly. I don't advocate divorce, but have gone through it, and sometimes, it's necessary, but should be considered a last resort. You need to earn your way out. Once you've talked to her, and given her a chance to get help to change, then you've done your best and can walk away with a guilt-free conscious. Just a thought, but if she's a reader, get her the book called, "The Language of Letting Go", by Melody Beattie. It's written for alcoholics and co-dependents, but is also written in a way that it could apply to everyday life or people with emotional problems. Good luck.
2007-05-29 11:17:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Itz like a bad habit.... just snap her back into it and tell her you can't do THIS anymore if she will go back to the woman she was. She thinks that just because you are now dealing with a seriuos finacial, unstaedy and not fun process (divorce) that you will still be faithful 2 her only because of the official tie.
YOU need 2 show her otherwise!!!! tell her that you were so proud and thankful that she changed 4 you! and then say ... What happened to the old (name here)________?
2007-05-29 12:08:54 · answer #3 · answered by KiWi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was that way when you first met her, chances are she had been that way for a while. Since you married her and she is back to her old ways, she probably isn't going to change. I do believe in the saying that people do not change ... unless they want to. My opinion? You married her and you made a vow to be with her for better or for worse. I would suggest you do whatever you can to help her at this point, not run out on her.
2007-05-29 11:31:48 · answer #4 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG..call Dr. Phil Quick !!
Looks like she definitely put on a Broadway show for you (sarcastically speaking that is) just to get a ring on her finger..since no one else probably ever saw her as marriage material... I'm sure her family was thrilled to see some one actually wanting to marry their nut case daughter.. lol
that woman seriously took you for a ride huh ? LOL OMG..
Divorce her..and get rid her quickly..safe yourself..while you still can..
I think if you were to kill her Scott Peterson style you could use the INSANITY DEFENSE and actually get out of jail free..
good luck to you and good luck on saving your sanity.
My heart goes out to you. (((HUG))))
2007-05-29 11:20:04 · answer #5 · answered by cnn360coffeebubbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to help her with her issues and problems instead of getting upset with her. She needs you more now than earlier. Then, she will become strong and things will return back to the way they were.
2007-05-29 11:18:59 · answer #6 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi i am sorry to hear about your problem but it sounds like to me that you need to sit her down and have a long talk with her and let her know that you do not like the behavior that you are seeing. (explain to her what it is) let her know if this behavior does not change you are going to do something drastic. and if that don't help leave her for a few days to let her know that you are serious.
2007-05-29 12:50:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her if she wants to run you off and far away from her and this marriage, then just keep this crap up because that is exactly what will happen. People can only take so much.
2007-05-29 11:24:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd suggest quit thinking of yourself and begin to comfort your wife. You've made a committment, stick to it. Help her to overcome whatever it is she is troubled with. That is what you're there for. Not to run.
2007-05-29 11:14:09 · answer #9 · answered by David 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell your dramatic, self absorbed wife to read the book "the proper care & feeding of husbands" by laura schlessinger. if that doesnt wake her up, nothing will. through all of it, though, support her.
2007-05-29 11:38:39 · answer #10 · answered by *never give up* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋