My husband of 13 years divorced and remarried me 2 years ago. He said he was just having a midlife crisis and that the divorce didn't count, although I was devestated. The past 2 months he's up to his old tricks staying out all night, getting phone calls, text messages from people I don't need to know about. He won't even add me to his myspace. He says there is no marriage if I don't trust him. He came home at 3 a.m. Sunday morning I threw some of his stuff outside. I am ready for this to be over. I know that I can't make him love me. I know that he is never going to grow up. Why do I still cry? I've been looking all over town for a house to rent for me and my son and none are available. AT least this time I do have a job. I can make it on my own. I just don't want to. I have been a good wife and mother, Why won't he just love me?
2007-05-29 10:32:53 · 9 answers · asked by sissy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I truly want you to take in everything I am about to say.
IF HE CANNOT RESPECT YOU AND GIVE YOU THE ATTENTION YOU NEED, YOU NEED TO BOUNCE, LEAVE! Sweetie, it's time you got selfish for you and your son. You can't allow your son to see you go through that. I know from experience that it hurts like hell during a break up but he is showing you what he's about. This is WAY MORE than a trust issue. Does this guy realy think that if you trust him 100% it's okay to be out all hours in the night, to get secret text and phone calls. If so, he is stupid. A REAL MAN would want to make HIS WIFE as comfortable as possible. So this is not about your trust, he has no respect. How about this. Get a number actually get several and let the guys call you over the next few weeks. When your husband starts to complain or question just tell him there is no relationship if he can't trust you. JUST A SECRET YOU SHOULD KNOW: Men can't take their women getting attention from other men. Hire a baby sitter and go out. Get a "friend" but make sure the friend know your situation and can kick your husbands butt in case your husband tries to hit you. It will work.. I hope it helps. CNOTE HAS YOUR BACK, LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES.
2007-05-29 10:57:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants his cake and wants to eat it too. You being added to his my space isn't a matter of you trusting him. You are married, there should be no secrets. I can relate to what you are saying about knowing it should be over for you, yet you still cry. I have been through something similar (only I am divorced) and I still have really bad days. The only thing I can figure is we have this idea in our head of how it should be and that's what we want and long for. If he was really interested in saving your marriage it seems to me he would be trying harder. We can't make people love us, and maybe in his own way he does. It just isn't healthy the way he wants it.
2007-05-29 10:51:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You divorced him once for a good reason. They never change, they just say they do to get you back. You are familiar territory. Trust me I know. I divorced my ex and then went back because he promised me he changed, luckily I did not marry him again. I did it for the kids. I found out that he did not change and that he had just disguised all his bad habits long enough to get me back to where he wanted me.
2007-05-30 04:02:27 · answer #3 · answered by val06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres not always an answer why a man does what he does and this may be one of them. You already know what needs to be done here and youre on your way so theres little we can tell you except good luck
2007-05-29 10:39:36 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like as much as he thought he was ready to be in a marriage once he came back it wasn't what he wanted. it sounds like he needs to grow up a bit (a lot!). i think you and your son would be better off w/o him. i mean - why be unhappy and try and make something work if you're the only one working at it?!?
best of luck to you!!
2007-05-29 10:36:48 · answer #5 · answered by Suzanne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he doesnt love anyone but himself
you cry because you are hurt and you have the right to be
DO divorce him, he isnt going to be faithful to you
he says that "there is no marriage if you dont trust him" he is right... there is NO marriage
2007-05-29 10:37:16 · answer #6 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some men have a wild heart and can never stay with one woman and you dear, have such a man. Move on with your life and find someone who can commit
2007-05-29 10:38:31 · answer #7 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him...he's not worth the trouble.
2007-05-29 10:54:12 · answer #8 · answered by fire wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont you go out and let him see you having fun with your friends...show him that you dont care what he does..
2007-05-29 10:38:57 · answer #9 · answered by butterfly_kisses81501 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋