could use a little advice ..............?

Question

i've been in a long relationship with my girlfriend and lately we have been having alot of problems.......she has been attacking me to go back to school and get a degree......change my work .......she is saying the passion in our relationship is not there anymore. We don't really have much time to see eachother during the week because of work and everything but when we chilled on the weekends and we would have a great time together. we are very attracted physically to eachother but she is very hungover about my faults. anyway we ended up agreeing to take time apart from eachother about a week ago. we are still talking and she shows signs she misses me butit goes no futher then that. now two days ago she tells me she is kinda talkin to someone but likes him more as a friend.now last night we are talking and she brings that up again and says the same things but adds she is so confused and doesn't what to do. i need help....what do i do.....? i'm sooo confused

Answer 1

The way I see it you have a couple of choices to make. One you can ask her to make a decision. It's not right to put you in a position of being on hold just so she can figure out who she likes best. Or two you make a decision about what you want then pursue it. Sometimes it's good to get perspective and putting distance between you and someone else can give you that but other times it can pull you further apart. If someone truly cares and respects you as a person then there is no need to find fault with you. You are just the way you are suppose to be. Now that doesn't mean you still don't have to work on things because all relationships take work. But in order for a relationship to work you have to both want it and put the effort forward to build the core things essential in all good relationships. (compromise, trust, honesty, communication, and problem solving) If you feel you need to give this person a little time and space then do just that. Set up boundaries as to what is acceptable for you and stick to them. If you still want to talk with her but are uncomfortable with her sharing information about this other person then tell her so. You deserve to have someone focus on you completely. Best of luck!

Answer 2

Confuscious say "two confused,better than one." With age comes maturity and wisdom to figure out whats best for ones self. You both are showing signs of inmaturity.You need to get things into perspective and find a direction for which to go to achieve your dreams. This may not always be on the same page as the one you love but then comes the fine art of compromising to save the relationship. Just figure out what its exactly you want now and for the future and what itll take to get there. Good luck

Answer 3

I think she has been unhappy for a while now. Why else would she start attacking you about changing. It seems that maybe she is bored with the relationship and wants something romantic and exciting. It may be that you can't do anything to get her to feel different. Maybe she will realize that you are what she wants, but it sounds to me that she is making excuses to have time apart from you.(saying she wants you to change) Maybe she's the one who has changed.

Answer 4

do you want to loose her? add some romance in the relationship. To be honest if she has found someone already then he may have been there longer than you thought and that is why she is so hung up on you faults. that is her way of trying to find out if he was interested. I would talk to her about her feelings and you. also I would try to show her you want her in your life. If you do that is.

good luck