Things my spouses ex has done. (1) we were at a grandkids ballgame, I walked off to let my (then) boyfriend talk to his ex. (I am not the jealous type) When i came back ..she waits until I get close and says "Thanks babe for the drink" and hands his drink cup back. I do not think he should have shared his drink with her anyway but she definitely waited to hand it back so I could see him sharing with her. I blew it off. (2) 5 days after our honeymoon I am sitting at the desk with the PC and all of a sudden an IM message pops up from her saying "hi, what r u doing" to my newlywed husband. This was on a Saturday at 6:00 pm. I asked why she was saying Hi to my husband on a weekend (or really any time)...she comes back with "because we are friends". I am really not an insecure person, but I felt very disrespected and that she was only trying to cause trouble. She was horrible during their marriage and tries to make herself seem very innocent in these things. They have no kids. Thoughts?
2007-05-29 10:08:31 · 24 answers · asked by jtcurry58 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh my gosh, I would be so upset. She is just trying to cause problems with you and your husband and sounds like she wants him back. If they have no children together there should be absolutely no contact between them if he wants the marriage with you to go smoothly. I would suggest asking your husband to tell his ex to back off and leave you two alone to enjoy your lives together. He needs to be the one to say it because its his ex, then maybe she'll get the hint to back off. She is rude, immature and disrespectful. I hope your husband will honor you and your marriage and set this crazy ex straight.
Good luck!
I think you are a very mature and nice person not to go off on her.
Don't listen to this spaznski chick, she doesn't know what she's talking about.
2007-05-29 10:39:22 · answer #1 · answered by Shanny 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OMG no kids! This is bullshit! No reason to be connected still. **** the insecure thing. It is about respect for your relationship. This kind of stuff should of been established before you married him. but since you are married maybe it would be a good idea to bring this up to your hubby. Let him know you are not cool with it. Your feelings matter too not just his. If anything he should respect you more than her. He did marry you so you got that comming. Second of all, my opinion only, but chicks shouldnt be friends with a guy especially if they are married because this only leads to temptation and i am sorry but your man is a human so just because these two "kids" think they are just " friends" they too can fall into temptation and not know it. Especially they have a past. Make him leave his past in the past or leave you. You have to convey the seriousness of this issue before it wrecks your joy in your new relationship as husband and wife. Good luck and hopefully he loves you enough to respect the vows he took and the promises he made to cherish you. You matter too and dont let this guy try to make you feel wrong for requesting your needs to be met. =)
2007-05-29 10:30:58 · answer #2 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Respect is the key here. She is giving you none! By the sounds of it your husband isn't either. You need to talk to him and remind him that you are his wife and she is an EX-wife! With no kids involved I am not sure why they are still in contact with each other. They can remain friendly without being friends. Afterall if everything was so friendly they wouldn't be divorced in the first place. He should ALWAYS be more concerned with your feelings than hers. ALWAYS!!!! If he isn't then HE is disrespecting you. I suggest you talk to him very soon out and explain how you feel.
2007-05-29 10:43:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to back off. She is teasing him with the excuse to be friends. If they have no kids, there is no reason to keep on communicating. She may miss the attention from him, but she is definetly disrespecting you. Tell your husband that you feel treatened by her behavior and that he should put her on her place. Tell him that friends don;t call each other babe or reach out for attention disrecptecting their spouses.
She is trouble and I can see she is enjoying torturing you and tickling your insecurities. Do not fall for this because all she wants is for your husband and you to argue about her so she can call you crazy/controlling, jealous.
Good luck
2007-05-29 10:16:19 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would go and ask your husband what is going on and why is she sending e-mail..? Is she trying to make it sound like your hubby is fooling around? Good question here. This was the same thing with my new husband. His ex would stop at nothing to call him on his pager and then cell and drop by with out either of knowning when she was told not to. I told him it has to stop..you were married to her years ago. He had no kids with her but she had one from another life. He would tell me they were just friends..one day she step over the line and called are home and he told her this was not the right place to call..knowning she would not stop..i called and left her a very nice msg letting her know she was married to him at one point in life and is no longer and she needs to find someone to make her happen and to get on with her life..well it fially worked..but it took a year if sitting by taking until i took over. It sounds like she wants him and will not stop..She needs to stop and to get on with her life and to stop sending msg as you don't know..what esl she is doing behide your back. Your hubby and you need to talk and set rules up on this person. I'm not a jealous person either but enought is enought after a year..i did something..my life is alot better ..
2007-05-29 10:30:57 · answer #5 · answered by Spice M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok, can you say over-reacting? because that is what you are doing.
you say you aren't the jeaous or insecure type?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
If you weren't you wouldn't be asking for thoughts on any of this here on yahoo. So accept the fact right now and say - I am the jealous type & I am insecure - and deal with it.
You have absolutely positively no idea if she waited to hand the drink back...it makes you feel better to think she is trying to bait you....but you are making up stories in your own head to justify being upset that they talk.
The IM - you know what...maybe they ARE actually friends. Some people end up better friends after a divorce than they ever were married. If you don't like him being friends with her then that is a topic to discuss with your husband, but don't put the irritation you feel about it soley on her. How could she have only been trying to cause trouble? Do you think she had a crystal ball and knew you were on his screen name on the computer and popped on just to upset you?
You were not a part of their marriage - you came afterwards(or maybe in the middle, who knows) so you have absolutely no grounds to say she was horrible in their marriage - you are only going by what he says...and you know that there is always his side, her side and somewhere in the middle of it lies the truth.
You know it is a lot easier for the insecure to blame someone outside of their marriage instead of accept where the real problem is, you don't trust your husband when it comes to his ex, you don't like that he still considers her a friend, you view her as a threat to your life. You need to deal with these issues with your husband - maybe through counseling...or you are going to drive your marriage to divorce as well.
2007-05-29 10:21:31 · answer #6 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
I know this is not what you want to hear but the problem is not the ex it's your husband.
If he had not let her know that it was OK to stay in contact with him she most likely would not be doing it.
How do I know? Because I have a ex-wife who I am still friends with and my wife doe's not understand it either.
OK, obviously I need to add something here. My ex and I are just friends. We live 700 miles apart and get along better now then we did when we were married. My point was that the husband is the only one who can put a end to this and only if he wants to.
2007-05-29 10:15:26 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
That is very rude of her. I would definitely talk to your husband and let him know how you feel. They are divorced for a reason there should be no reason why they im or buy each other drinks or whatever. I am divorced and living with a great man..i only talk to my ex when it's regarding our child that's it. I don't see any reason why he needs to talk to her. Good Luck to you
2007-05-29 10:15:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
HE needs to get her out of the picture, it's not your dirty job. He's let her in or is letting her stay in your lives, HE can get her out. It would be different if there was never a history there, but there is! Why get divorced if you stay in touch??? I've never understood that. Especially if things ended crappy. She can't have him anymore but she wants to cause trouble for the next one that marries him. She can either politely go away, with him telling her to or not, or I would change all phone numbers, email addresses, etc... He shouldn't b*tch about doing this if he's got no balls to tell her to butt completely out.
2007-05-29 10:52:54 · answer #9 · answered by kimmy2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In all honesty I possibly slightly 'thick' right here yet i do no longer think he's harassing you. to start with any arrest is searchable and any in charge plea turns into public checklist. in addition to some newspapers do print court docket lawsuits and court docket findings. it somewhat is as a result somewhat achieveable your interest found out on their very own accord extraordinarily in the adventure that your persevered employment is concern to periodic history exams. In regard on your maiden call, it somewhat is something this is linked with your in my view identifiable information alongside with: start certificates, marriage license, social protection style, and any court docket information that could have formerly in touch you. So it somewhat is achieveable you gave your maiden call or it exchange into discoverable. Do you have a lawsuit? in my view i do no longer think you have a lawsuit and it somewhat is my concept your drug utilization, no longer your ex-husband, led you to unfastened your interest. ultimate element to do is pass into rehab and rebuild your existence.
2016-10-06 06:43:33 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋