How can I reclaim my life and leave my husband?

Question

In a few months I will have been married for one year. It will also be the 2 yr aniversary of the first time I realized I wanted to leave this man. Bascially he was a "good boyfriend, for now" that I got too comfortable with. Things got significantly less comfortable and we spend life tiptoeing around each other's bad moods and spending one happy day that keeps me coming back despite the many hurdles along the way.

Is the small amount of happiness we share worth the hassle of all our incompatibilities? All of our friends are mutual (we've been together for years and grew up as friends in the same hometown) and our families are very close. It is my first marrriage and I am afraid that people will call me a failure.

What if no one sticks by MY side in the breakup? Will I be alone? How can i rescue whats left of my life and start anew? Happy & Independent?

Answer 1

if you are not happy in the relationship, you should let it go, be fair to him too. If you know for sure that he's not really for you, then let him go. If you are unsure about what you really want, maybe the two of you need a little time away from each other. It's a little weird because you guys are married, but try seperation, and see how that goes. It may look a little self fish on your part, but if he loves you, he'll do it. You should tell him to have his fun as well, and not wait for you entirely. Try seperation and if you both feel that you guys were meant to be together, then get back together, if not, you both can go your seperate ways.

Answer 2

If your not happy then you need to leave. Don't waste more time and don't bring any children into a relationship that you don't want anymore. It wouldn't be fair to the children. I have been in a horrible marriage for 8 years, we grew up together also and he was my first love, he is a drug addict. I have left him and am so much happier, even though i'm raising our two kids alone. We tend to sit around waiting things to get better, but they usually don't. They usually get worse. But maybe you can talk to your husband and get counseling. But if you know your completely done and have no feelings for him anymore then you should leave. You deserve to be happy. You need to do whats best for you, it doesn't matter what other people think its your life and you only get one. If your friends and family don't stick by you and be supportive then they aren't true friends in the first place.
Good luck!
I hope you decide to do what's best for yourself.

Answer 3

Knowing is half the battle, even in this case. I'm one of those that thinks "if you aren't happy, you aren't happy". It's time to get your ducks in a row and file for a divorce. If none of your friends takes your side or is sympathetic, that's their problem not yours. You should do what you feel is right. If I break up with someone or get with someone, I dont' care what anyone things, honestly. It doesn't make you a failure to continue going down a path that is a dead end. It's more of a failure for you if you don't change things to make your life better. People are ignorant if they don't or can't understand that.

If you wind up alone for awhile, that's great! You'll have your freedom to do what you want and not answer to anyone else. That will make you feel like a million bucks; trust me!! Good luck!!

Answer 4

Don't keep yourself trapped in a marriage where you will not ever be happy. Life is about living and enjoying. Let your family and mutual friends know, that neither of you are happy. Gradually let them know that you would prefer to move on. Get them used to the idea before you seperate.
Talk to your family, let them know how unhappy you are. If they love you, they will support you.
In my marriage, most of the time we get on well. There are some hiccups, usually every month, my wife gets moody. Picks fights. Some months we get through without any arguments.
A marriage should be a partnership where you enjoy each others company, if you are both miserable most of the time, then move on. Don't stay married for the sake of your family and friends. They'll get over it.

Answer 5

When you get married you bring along many expectations for your partner to full fill. If no one of them acts like the other expected or dreamed to be, that's is going to lead to disappointment. Another huge matter is lack of communication. If you don't share not only your daily life's events, but your goal, dreams, fears, all that is going to drift you apart. you need to figure out what exactly you both need.
If you can agree to anything , before you"ll get an attorney, try some counseling. do some research and try to work things out. If you decided to get divorced anyway, you'll expect from total support from family and friends to completely being expelled from their intimate circle of acquaintances. But no one else can feel what you feel, so think about it. I was in a similar situation as you, but I gave it a chance. We have our up and downs, but is the love for the other person well being that keeps you going. I wish you the best.

Answer 6

If I had only divorced my ex in the first 18 months when I SHOULD HAVE.....I would be so much healthier, slimmer, happier, etc....in my second marriage!!

Do what you should do when you know it shoud be done! Don't postpone what your gut feeling says you should do!

Forget about what others say or think - their opinion really doesn't matter. Can you see yourself spending the rest of your live living like this??

Answer 7

This is about you and your happiness. Your concerns are genuine, but you don't need approval from anyone. Have you discussed this with your husband? Your friends and family will have to adjust. Live your life for you not what other people think.