2007-05-29 10:01:03 · 11 answers · asked by danikakills 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unfortunately, you cannot prevent her from feeling sad or hurt or lonely or any of the things we feel when we lose someone special. However, if she wants your help, she'll let you know how. Listen to her. Let her cry. Let her complain. Let her know that you are there, perhaps to do things she cannot do for herself. When she had a husband he was an extra set of hands to help manage a busy life. You cannot be a husband, but you can be an extra set of hands. Don't forget that this is about her needs, not your need to feel useful. Sometimes that means getting out of the way or helping her get other things, jobs, people, out of the way.
2007-05-29 10:15:51 · answer #1 · answered by Jim A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply be there for her. When you fix dinner, take her a plate of food over. Sometimes after something like this happens, they often neglect to eat. Ask if there is anything she needs. Sometimes they get into a depressed mood and also neglect their house hold duties. Just say " hey, lets do dishes or fold clothes. Just little things. You might just find her up and going through the motions and get her to realize , no matter how much she misses him and the life they had together, life does go on. It is hard and these are a few of the little things my best friend done when my husband passed. It has been a little over 2 years and it still hurts so, there may be days you think she is doing really well but, she will slip back into the past and what once was.
You are a good friend for caring.
2007-05-29 17:10:57 · answer #2 · answered by shyone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is shock and needs to deal with it in her heart where it can make some kind of sense. That said all you can do is listen and try to help by taking up some of the slack like like making sure kids/pets are fed, dishes easy stuff that needs to get done but she might have a hard time focusing on.
This is an extremely difficult time she is probably very confused and zoned out. Give her time she has just stepped into a new life she did not plan on. She might have alot of questions that may not have answerer's just yet and might not for a long time. Sudden death is like a 18 wheeler hitting you. Support her however you can.
2007-05-29 17:19:45 · answer #3 · answered by theladygeorge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one, she is going to feel bad. Don't try to make her feel un-bad - just let her have her emotions and don't judge them at all.
Second thing, she may need help with things that will simply not get done. Help her with house work or with calling friends and family who live out of the area. She may just need someone to do her laundry or to help write out thank you cards. Be there for her, but do so by helping her get done the life things that go on no matter what happens in our lives.
When someone dies, it is important for friends and family to be supportive without being over protective - - hug her and let her have space.
2007-05-29 17:10:07 · answer #4 · answered by yarn whore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how that feels and I heard so many of my friends and family say anytime you need something call me, but when I did need to talk they were to busy. You can be there for her and don't wait for her to call you. Take her out to eat or anything to get her out of the house. She will have so many emotions that you may not know how to handle what she says, but just listen. One thing that is important, don't stop talking about him just because it makes her cry. If you remember any stories about him be sure and tell her, it will make her feel as if someone has not forgotten him.
2007-05-29 22:00:24 · answer #5 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be there for her and support her, coordinate reheat-able food to be cooked and dropped off for her. Ask her show she would like to see and who she wouldn't.
Basically run interference for a while, be there to collect the dishes and help to prepare them. delicately turn away the gossipy neighbor and only allow in the people she wants to visit with.
make sure the day to day tasks in the house are taken care of for a little while.. maybe co-ordinate a few others to help you in this venture.
taking the stress of these mundane and annoying things away from her will allow her the time she needs to grieve and begin to heal.
2007-05-29 17:14:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
all you can honestly do is be there for her......you don't have to talk--or do anything special just let her know that you are available for whatever she needs--whether it be talking or running around for her--helping her out with kids or the house--paying bills--grocery shopping--sometimes talking about it later on will help but right now she probably just needs to know someone that cares about her is near--just knowing that is a lot of comfort--hope this helps and good luck!
2007-05-29 17:09:58 · answer #7 · answered by TWIN91 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her for whatever she needs. Be the shoulder to cry on, the sounding board when she wants to rant.
Feeling bad is a normal and needed part of grieving.
2007-05-29 17:17:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. The best advice is to be there for her at all times.
Good Luck
2007-05-29 17:06:21 · answer #9 · answered by Gucci S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her... whatever she needs, help her...
2007-05-29 17:03:52 · answer #10 · answered by emtb9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋