It severed his left arm, although after 6 surgeries, was reattached. Due to the vibration & limited mobility, he no longer rides, not to mention his son forbids him since he nearly died. Do I give up my passion for him or get my own & ride without him, only on occasion? Anyone in a similar situation??
2007-05-29 09:44:20 · 15 answers · asked by COblonde 3 in Cars & Transportation ➔ Motorcycles
I disagree this is a "dating" question. No one there is going to appreciate my love for riding as would those under the motorcycle category so get a life why don't you?!
2007-05-29 16:12:47 · update #1
Ooh, tough call! Since I'm not you, it's easy to be callous and say "dump him."
But is it really callous - or just realistic? After all, if there were some other incompatibility, you might not hesitate to move on.
In this case, something you love very much is something you will (likely) not be able to share with this guy in the future. Sure, that might change, but......And what if he starts being afraid for you, and puts up a fight whenever you want to go out on your own?
If you're at a point in the relationship where you can walk away with few regrets, do it now. It just gets more difficult the more involved you get!
As for getting your own - even if this guy weren't in the picture, that would be a great idea! In fact, I was under the impression that you already had your own....
2007-05-29 11:05:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
While this may be a "dating" question, you came to the right place. I have asked "off-topic" questions as well. It's where you go when you need/want input from others who understand.
I don't normally give relationship advice. Definitely not my strong suit. Relationships of any type are always a compromise. I don't see why you can't ride. Apparently he had the same passion, and something keeps him from it now. As such, he should understand yours as well. The only thing that bothers me about your question is the phrasing. How something is said is as important as what is said. You ask "do I give up..." . There's the problem. People who feel like they have given up something never forget it, and it usually comes up in a negative way. Compromise is different, it's a SHARED loss for a SHARED gain. Other good points have been brought by others. Son forbids father? I guess I'm still old fashioned, because that looks backwards to me.
2007-05-30 11:28:10 · answer #2 · answered by Firecracker . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is a simple answer to this question, but I know there are some things I'd ask myself in the same situation.
If the relationship's not at the 'serious' stage yet, then I'd let it slide for now. Keep riding, just don't make a real big deal about it.
If you think this will lead to a long-term commitment (or it already has), then I'd say you need to talk it over with him.
Find out what his feelings are. You may discover he's happy you ride, and wants you to enjoy yourself (this is also a great indication he really cares about you!).
If he says your riding makes him unhappy, and/or he feels that it's something he can tolerate now, but wouldn't want you to ride if you were living together, etc. then he is forcing you to make a decision between him and riding.
This would be bad - not because of what it is, but why. It seems that people who ask their partners to change something 'or else' are usually not satisfied with just that one change - they'll bring up other stuff later. Like, 'Move with me out of state, or else I'll leave you'. Or, 'Change your schedule at work or else', etc. etc.
If he says it bothers him to know you ride, and he worries about you, but he doesn't say he wants you to quit, then I'd say this is a very normal healthy relationship, and he cares about you. If you care about him, then it's up to you to decide if you want to take away this fear and quit riding.
If his crash was related to rider skill, inattention, intoxication, or a specific cause that can be dealt with, you might be able to help him feel better about your riding by making sure you never put yourself in the same situation (along with always wearing proper gear, taking classes on rider safety, always riding safe and aware, etc).
Everyone changes when they enter long-term relationships. Some changes are good (from being a single slob to a neat married person), some can make us sad or unhappy. The only person who can tell if this change would be ok is you.
2007-05-29 10:24:27 · answer #3 · answered by ducatisti 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Love means that you sacrifice something for the person you love. In this case you probably should get your own ride. You won't be able to ride together and so it will be a small sacrifice, but you can still do a few Poker runs, and that stuff
If you thought about completely giving up the bike for him, it would change you and it would not be the same.
Just make an accommodation. Life is about balance.
2007-05-29 09:57:23 · answer #4 · answered by Bill 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No this is not a dating question, you asked in the correct forum. There is no reason for you to give up riding because of what happened to him. If he has a problem with that you are with the wrong person. Be your own person, people respect that. If you give this up then what is next. I have given up many things in the past for girlfriends...quit racing motocross (for awhile), quit playing in a band, didn't go to the college I wanted to because it was out of town, and so on. I now look back on those decisions and realize what an idiot I was.
2007-05-30 03:23:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If YOU don't have a problem riding solo, and HE has no problem with you riding solo, then shouldn't be a problem. The son should get off his dad's nuts and let him ride if he wants to. "Forbid" my left cheek. Not really enough info to tell you anything else, can you add info to your question? Does you riding affect the relationship?
2007-05-29 11:51:52 · answer #6 · answered by Baron_von_Party 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here are your choices:
1. Give up the motorcycle yourself.
2. Give up on the guy.
Sorry, no keeping the guy and riding alone.
I'm leaning toward option #2. Do you want to be with a guy whose son controls his life? If you stay with him, that son is going to control yours too.
P.S. This is a question for the Dating category, not the Motorcycles category. I hope you've asked this question there too.
2007-05-29 14:37:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you need to get your bike and keep riding. I'll bet that he still loves motorcycles too. I don't think he'd try to stop you from riding. If he does...live, ride, be free!
2007-05-29 09:57:55 · answer #8 · answered by Dogbettor 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm a 5'2" girl... Usually I like guys who are tall like 5'9" to 6'2" , so yes
2016-04-01 03:21:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife doesn't care to ride either, so I bought a solo ride (see my 360) and ride alone.
2007-05-29 23:05:59 · answer #10 · answered by strech 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋