How to move out on your own with kids after a divorce?

Question

Okay so, my husband and I are getting a divorce and I have no clue how I'm going to make it with our 2 kids. I'm moving out in 1 month into an apt. that he co-signed for me. Now he's pulling out and I have no one to cosign for me. I don't make 3 times the rent and need a cosigner. I hate feeling trapped by him all the time... under his control at all times. I've been a stay-at-home mom the majority of the time and don't have any special training past highschool. What are other moms in my type of situation doing? I don't understand how people with a small income can afford childcare AND an apartment and other necessities. Also, I'm diabetic and am not going to have any medical insurance. I have no idea what to do! Please, if you are a mother with children that had a divorce w/minimal schooling then PLEASE help!

Answer 1

First off -- if you haven't already applied for child support-- nows the time to do it-- call your local child support office- and pick up the papers and fill them out-- NEXT, when you are there-- ask about 'daycare assistance'... It is for people with small income-- (I do daycare), and what this is- is you fill out forms- give them your income, and if you qualify- they will pay a portion of your daycare expenses......the one girl I did it for-- they paid all of hers.... the daycare provider sends the form into the state- and then the state reimburses the daycare provider-- where you don't have to come up w/ money for that-- usually the one on assistance pays a small co-pay-- the more you make--the more you would pay etc--
that is something I definately would look into.
Also- when you are there-- Iwould ask about assistance w/ medical-- you are going through a tough time- and you need the help - just think of it as- it won't be like this forever--but, it will help you get by.... ALSO-- when you get the divorce-- don't give in to giving him the kids for tax advantages-- I have one of mine- he has one-- but, it makes a huge difference- i get money back because of this.... Also- when doing the divorce-- make sure he does the medical insurance on the kids-- and because you don't make much- try to make him pay the out of pocket expenses. 100%....make sure to get that in your divorce papers- or you will be left paying the out of pocket expenses for the kids- and that does add up.
i'm sure it is a scary time for you-- but you'll be just fine.

Answer 2

While you are getting your divorce I really wouldn't do anything together. You pretty much need to plan on what you can do for yourself, he may help with the kids, but it's highly unlikely he's going to help you. Once divorced and while going through the divorce it may be hard, but remeber it's not a team together in life anymore. The court systems will eventually get around to interfearing enough in your life to make it more complicated than it is now to live everyday, so don't count on that helping you to much. After the bills that will accumulate you'll probably be even less financially stable then you are now for the first year or two.

My advice would be to sit down, form a plan. Decide who in your network of friends can help. Put your plan into action and don't count on his help at all. In this way if the courts order some assistance from him it becomes secondary and supportive rather than necessary.

As for the diabetic thing, do not forget to eat properly and keep that under control, you have two kids depending on it. I too am diabetic and lost 45lbs in my divorce. (It wasn't healthy)

There's no exact answer, but I assure you... There is help and there is a tommorrow. Keep your chin up, and look for the oppurtunities. Great things happen to those who smile.

There are many jobs available to single mothers. Perhaps to solve your daycare issues look for something in that field to do as a job.

Answer 3

Being a stay at home mom most of the time is a huge blessing. Now you will need to work full time and get support from him. I don't know your situation or how bad things were to get the divorce. Don't expect it to get easier or better soon, especially with children involved. My wife was in your shoes about 8 months ago. She was also a stay at home mom and also felt trapped since we didn't have the money for separate living arrangements. She moved in with her mom for about 3 months which gave us both time to cool down and reconsider a decision that would have a huge impact on us and our children for the rest of our lives. She was so done with me and it's a miracle were back together and we our happier than ever. When she moved out she believed she would be happier, but in fact she was more stressed and miserable.

Answer 4

What are the stipulations of your divorce? Have you been to court are you going to court?

It sounds to me that you need legal representation. And I would NOT move out until I get that representation and I got what I nned to care for my children.

Your husband should be liable for a percentage of your childrens day care. In Some states you can get a spouse to pay for alimony for at least four years, and for health care for at least four years.

You NEED to go back to school. i.e. College. There is a grant system available to mothers who are pursuing college that will not only help pay for college but for other expenses as well. Go talk to the financial aid office at a college near you to see what options there are available to you.

Answer 5

The courts will make sure you and your children are cared for. If you're a stay at home mom, your husband will probably have to pay for an attorney for you, so go get one! There's also child support & alimony. Look at it as a new beginning. It will get better, I promise!