Can i get custody of my mom's unborn child even though I just turned 16?

Question

hi, my name is Kyler. i'm 16 and live in the projects of New York City with my mom and her many boyfriends. my life hasn't been a piece of cake so far. my mom is a call girl. i was her first child, and every time she got pregnant after that, she just had an abortion, and i'm sick of it. she has killed 8 of my potention siblings. well she's pregnant again, and i told her that i wasn't gonna let her kill it. and she said if i wanted it, i could have it. but she didn't want it in her house. i'm all for that. so what do i have to do to get custody of my mom's baby, and move out. legally. i know how to do it illegally, but the last thing i need is to be in trouble with the police. oh and i've looked around on here for a while before i actually asked or answered anything, and i noticed that on a lot of questions, people get answeres like "this isn't real" or "i don't believe that". well, i just want to say this is true, and if you're not gonna help me then please don't answer. thanks.

oh yeah, and i do have a job right now and i've been saving my money for a while. i will have means to support both of us.

if i don't take it, she'll kill it. i'm taking it, legal or not, i just wanted it to be legal

Answer 1

Sweetheart! I understand your dilemma but, I am sorry to say this is not your choice to make. #1 I am 25 and having a hard time getting custody of a 15 years old so I am fairly sure you will not be able to get custody of a newborn! #2 Who will care for the child when you are working to put food on the table or while you are at school. Daycare is expensive and babies need constant care for at least 5 years. I know your heart is hurting because of the choices your mother is making but, you have to let her make them for herself. You have to live your life not hers. #3 Foster parenting laws require that you have your own place with a room for you and a separate room for the child. At 16 I don't think that is possible. Let your mom make her own choices. Focus on school and make something great out of your life so you don't end up like your mom! Good luck!

Answer 2

You're in a predicament alright. It's either your dream college or a baby. I kinda went through the same thing. Well, even though my mother didn't want custody of my baby, I did have to decide whether I would put my son up for adoption (abortion was not an option for me) or go to school. I decided to have my son and suck it up until my son was old enough to be a little independent so that I can work and go to school. I don't regret that decision at all. You will definitely get help if you are living on a small income and with a baby. It seems as if your mother lost her chance to enjoy her time with your sister. Now she wants to "pretend" like your baby is a redo. Ultimately, it is your decision that matters, but if I were you I'd keep my child. It will be EXTREMELY difficult, but it's been done before.

Answer 3

Honey! This is so sweet, you care about that baby enough to give up many of the things the average 16 would be involved in...hanging out with friends and partying! I think your best bet would be to get emancipated! You should have no trouble doing so considering your situation and the fact that you have a good job is a plus as well! I honestly don't think you can physically adopt the child until your 18, but it might be possible to take care of the baby and be the primary caregiver until your 18 and then make it official by signing the adoption papers..i really don't know if its legal, but i really hope everything works out for you! Good Luck! Remember that in order to give this child a great future you need one as well. You seem like a great kid and don't let this bring you down. Stay positive :]

Answer 4

I saw a LifeTime movie (based on reality) in which some 15 or 16yo girl got custody of her younger 3 (iirc) half-siblings against her mom's wishes, I think... try googling for it.

Anyway, you being male probably isn't going to make it easier for you, nor the fact that the baby isn't even born yet. You would have to be emancipated first, but even then the judge will likely decide that the baby should be put up for adoption instead. The girl in the movie was already taking care of her siblings fulltime, and her siblings were like 3-7yo, and they were attached to her and she to them, which is just completely different from a newborn.

Seriously though, why do you want to raise your sibling all that much? I can understand you being against abortion, but what's wrong with adoption? I think you have some stuff to talk over with a psychologist, to be honest. I'm thinking that you want the baby so you can have some family that's not totally screwed up, but really... that's not a good reason to adopt your sibling. Find a good girl, marry her, start your own family in a few years from now. Raising your sibling is not going to fill the gap in your life or w/e.

Answer 5

Well Kyler i am happy to hear what you want to do. And as for you mom abortion is not birth control she could always of gave the other 8 up for adoption. You are probably going to have to go through the courts to have your mom sign some papers saying that you are no long her responsibility. You will also have to sign that for the baby to, she will have to give up her parental rights to you. I am not sure of all the rules that New York has but there will probably be other things you will have to do. You might want to try talking to a lawyer and see if they can help you in anyway.
You should probably see if you can get some type of a job, having a baby is not cheap. I also know that there are homes that take in teen parents that teach you how to care for the child and also you are still able to attend some form of school. ( i am sure you know how to do that already but you story it seems like you have taken care of yourself for awhile) but every bit of info will help you.

Good luck Kyler i hope it all works out for you.

Answer 6

Don't believe anyone who tells you you have to be 18. You don't have to be 18 to have a baby, you don't have to be 18 to have one GIVEN to you either. I definately want to see you get this baby. I can tell how strongly you feel about this little life and the ones that have passed on before it. I find that comendable. People are always so quick to judge another. No one ever said it would be easy, but it's not easy on anyone, 18 or not. If your mother is giving this child to you, there is nothing illegal about it. My next suggestion would be the same as anothers, get emancipated. I hate to give you advice to move forward because rasing a baby is not easy, and chances are you'll stay in those projects, but for what better, nobler cause than yours? God will provide. I wish I could help you more. Good Luck Kyler. What's your mothers affliction with carrying it and placing it for adoption? Is it because a pregancy would cut into her business or cause her to not be able to do drugs? I have always been amazed at women who would rather have a skinny body and do drugs than carry a baby to term. I myself have placed a child for adoption. I know I made the right decision and so does he and his otherwise childless parents. God holds a special place for you, may he be willing to let you have a chance.

Answer 7

ok tell your mom that you'll take care of the baby so she wont get the abortion. After its born tell the cops that your mom is a hooker. You and the baby will be removed from the home and put into foster care. You will most likely be put in the same foster house. When you turn 18 and you can prove to the court that you are a fit parent you can ask the court for custody, which you will most likely get. But you have to do good in school now, get a good job and don't get into ANY trouble between now and then. I mean NONE! You do have hope....pls tell us what you are going to do when you vote best answer.

Answer 8

Sweetheart I can understand that you do not want to see your sibling get got but you are 16 I have two children I had my first at the age of 18 and second at 21 well thye are 11 and 7 now.
You are 16 you have your whole life a head of you. How about adoption for your mom has she thought of that there are some agencies that will allow you to visit and still be a part of there life. If you are not happy with your living situation do you have other relatives that could help out??
I am not sure how the state is there but here they will not allow for you to place yourself will your mom do it for you.
How about a local church or something. Hearing you story I am so sorry for you. I wish there was more that i could do for you.
If you need someone to talk to please feel free
[e-mail]
Best of Luck!!!

Answer 9

I am so sorry you are going through that. People who don't believe you haven't been to the projects, especially NYC projects (I'm from the BX). I think you need to speak to a counselor at school or another adult you can trust to help you take the necessary steps. First thing you would have to do is divorce your mother, or be emancipated and legally considered an adult. Once that is done you should be able to get custody of your sibling. Good Luck.

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I am from NY and I know too many people going through similar situations.
Maybe the baby can stay in your moms name but you take care of it until your 18 then you can legally have custody. Your mom should just have the baby and give it to you but keep her as the mom until your old enough. Tell her she wont have to worry about you or the baby. Tell you think its wrong that she keeps having abortions. If she wants to have sex then take the pill or use some protection. She could also have her uterus taken out so she cant have babies.