How can my wife and I get baby to sleep in the crib?

Question

My wife and I do some foster care from time to time. We recently received three brothers into our home, the youngest of which is just one month old (he's been in foster care since birth.)

It turns out that he'll sleep for about two hours stretches at night *if* he's beeing held (i.e. cuddled on the couch, recliner, etc.) but once we put him in the crib, he's only good for about 10-15 minutes.

Any suggestions as to what we can do to get him to sleep in the crib and for longer stretches of time?

(BTW, he take much bottle at one time either. We find that as soon as we stick the bottle in his mouth, he gets drowsy or goes right to sleep. He'll usually only take an ounce or two at one time... this might explain the short sleep intervals, but we're not sure how to get more down him. Besides we suspect that being so little... an ounce might be all he's got room for anyway.)

Survey says... Swaddle!

Here is a tally of top suggestions to date:

Swaddle: 13
Music/Noise: 8
Cry it Out: 7
Prop Pillows: 7
Pacifier: 5
Bath: 5
Sleep Together: 3
Noise Plush: 3
Car Seat: 3
Movement: 3
Drowsy: 3
Light: 2

Last night, we swaddled the baby, and he had two 2.5 hour stretches in his crib, each following a 2 oz feeding. Then he slept for another hour there, and finished the early morning hour in his car seat.

My wife and I are trading off "night shift duty", so we'll each at least get a good night of sleep every other night. (We can afford to do this, since breastfeeding is obviously not an option.) As long as he can continue to give us 2+ hour stints of sleep in the crib, then we should be able to function on this schedule until h

Thanks for the many great suggestions... hopefully, we'll find a strategy that works for the little man.

There were sooo many great responses to this question, that I'm unable to pick just one. I'm going to have to open it up to vote, and see who comes out on top.

Thanks for the awesome suggestions!

Answer 1

Try the 5s from Dr. Karp (Happiest Baby On The Block)

#1--Shhhhh

White noise, like you shushing in ear, or the "non-channel" on the tv, I use a cd of ocean sounds

#2--Swaddle

Wrap the baby up tightly to help him feel more secure and cozy

#3--Side

Baby feels extra vulnerable lying on back, sometimes, you need to put them on their side

#4--Sucking

Activate sucking reflex, pacifier or your finger

#5--Shaking

Not actually, shaking, but some vibration or movement, like rocking

As for the sleeping when he should be eating, take his clothes off and wake him up! Sometimes, you need to stroke his back or arms to get him more awake. When I was still in the hospital with the baby, the nurses would rock the baby awake, basically, tilt forward and backward, but not in a relaxing way, almost like they were falling.....

Good luck!

Answer 2

Please, do NOT listen to people who tell you to let him "cry it out"...first, he's too young, and second, he's already had a tumultuous past at his tender little age of 4 weeks - he doesn't need any more abandonment issues! The poor little guy hasn't been able to properly bond with anyone - that could be part of the problem - he doesn't feel secure. Give him a warm bath and give a little massage with lotion afterward; Get him to eat (he is able to take more than an ounce at this age if he is hungry), make sure he's burped; Swaddle him and place him in a smaller bed/crib, like a bassinett, and you might try the form-fitting inserts that have the sides that you can put right up against his sides to make him feel more secure. He's not just your average baby who can't sleep but has been loved on and has bonded and is in a familiar place...he has NOT had the benefits of any of those things, and he needs more attention because of it. Growing up we had many, many foster babies in my house...thank you for being such a caring person! Good luck!

Answer 3

First of all God Bless you and your wife for being angels to these children!

Babies are in our womb for 9-10 months and come out to this cold alone world. It is cruel to let him cry it out at this age.
He needs love and affection, he may not have received it previously and now that he has felt it he doesn't want to let it go. A baby thrives for this they need to feel comfortable and secure and holding them gives that to them. They like to be swaddled (tightly wrapped) while sleeping this is mimicking sleep while in the womb. I used to swaddle my son and put him in the Boppy pillow he would sleep until time for his next feeding, the label states to not let them sleep in it but I did it where I always had an eye on him, it hugs them as if they were in the womb. He slept there the best. I also had a sleep positioner that was in the bassinet but that didn't work as well as the boppy pillow did. You can also try putting a shirt that was worn by you or your wife next to him, the scent comforts them also they think you're right there. The heartbeat sounds help some. Classical music is also very soothing and stimulating for their brain and also promotes a higher IQ.

Feeding well if he wont take more than an oz or two then try tickling his feet or back while feeding him, stimulate him to keep awake. If the Dr. says his weight is OK then that just may be his eating pattern, you cant force him to eat.

Answer 4

You can get a bear that hangs on the side of the crib that imitates sounds from the womb. Check online or Babies R Us. Also, have you considered letting him sleep in his car seat? My youngest wouldn't sleep in her crib for the first couple of weeks for more than 30 minutes at a time so I tried the car seat (right beside my bed) and she slept much better. Another helpful hint with the feedings: try stripping him down to his diaper for feedings. It'll encourage him to stay awake and you might get another ounce or two into him. At 1 month 3-4 oz. is probably his max capacity.

Answer 5

It sounds as if before you received this precious baby (and thank you for being open to foster care) that he got used to being held and bottle-fed to sleep.

When feeding him, gently nudge him to keep him awake and feeding. Try to get him to drink at least 3 ounces per feeding.

To help him sleep without being cuddled, don't let him fall asleep in your arms, but place him down while drowsy and gently pat and shush him to sleep. Make sure he's swaddled. Also, the crib might be too big for him. Perhaps let him sleep in a car seat, baby papasan, moses basket, bassinet or simply tightly roll some receiving blankets and place them next to his body. Also, he might benefit from having his head raised a little.

www.onestepahead.com has a wedge pillow that goes between the mattress and crib sheet to help keep the baby elevated.

Keep working on that. It could take several weeks before he's comfortable sleeping in the crib.

Answer 6

It is so hard to tell you to do anything with a foster child with all the rules they give you of the do's and don'ts. The baby, even though only 1 month old, has no mother that he got to bond with and is in a way having withdrawl when it comes to sleeping because he doesn't want to be put down. Depending on how often he's been passed around through foster care already he has no routine whatsoever. Just love him as much as you can and show him and his brothers that they are safe there. I would tell you to just let him cry in his crib if he were your own child but I know that when it comes to foster children they see that as a form of abuse. Best wishes to you all.

Answer 7

i take it this is the first infant you've taken care of. a 1 month should be eating 2-4 ounces every 2-3 hours so he'll only be sleeping a couple hours at a time. for the first few months my son wouldn't sleep in his crib either so during his daytime naps i would swaddle him in a receiving blanket and set him in his car seat after he fell asleep so it would still feel like he was being held and at night i would lay him in his crib swaddled and would put a rolled up receiving blanket snug against each side of him again so he felt like he was still being held. after a few months i took out ALL the blankets and he slept in his crib fine. DON'T just let him cry it out if he wakes up he is too young to self sooth himself baby's that young need reassurance that you are there for them and not going to leave them, if hey wakes up don't pick him up try singing or humming to him softly and rocking or rubbing his tummy gently to get to go back to sleep and try giving him a pacifiers that helped my son a lot. and always remember to lay him on his back, that and the pacifiers help reduce the risk of SIDS ( sudden infant death syndrome )

Answer 8

My baby drank 4-6 ounces in a sitting at that age, but he's always slept through the night. I would recommend less cuddling on the couch so he doesn't demand your touch so much? Never let him sleep in the bed with you or he'll grow up scared to sleep in his own room. If he seems fine with you only giving him an ounce or two at a time, then don't worry about it. He'll let you know when he's hungry. I never held my baby to sleep, I put him in his crib so he got use to going to sleep on his own. I would put him in the crib and play some baby music, and that seemed to work. You might have to put up with a lot of crying getting him to sleep in the crib, but make sure you make him sleep there. It's okay to stand there and caress him. This might satisfy his want for holding.

Answer 9

Poor babies. They are so lucky that you guys are there to help them. You should definitely pat yourself on the back for being a foster parent, there just to many babies and not enough good parents. My situation is different. I breastfed both of my kids and with my daughter I was afraid to let her sleep in her crib (guess because of being new mom) so I held held her in the recliner. This is where I spent the 1st year or maybe a little less sleeping.
My mom has done daycare my whole life and has taken care of my daughter and son. I know it is hard but you have to let them fuss it out a little just keep going in and checking on him to make sure he is ok and then to let him know that you are there. Try getting one of those bears that has the heartbeat sound and maybe that would help.
The feedings are a little but different. I know that in the hospital the nurses told me to undress them, take their socks off, change their diapers to wake them up so that way they would eat more. You didn't say how much he weighs, does he vomit after he eats? Myabe you should take him to the pediatrician to have him checked out to make sure he is progressing as he should be. Good Luck and God Bless you for doing what you are doing!!!

Answer 10

First of all you both must be exhausted with 3 small boys running around!! Kudos to you! Second, the baby might need to be swaddled before you put him in the bed, try rocking him in a chair or maybe putting him in a swing, that worked wonders for us on sleepless night with my daughter! YOu might also want to turn some soft music on to calm him, or keep a light on, they have crib lights that you just clip onto the rail its very soft lighting. I would try feeding him and when he tries to go to sleep gently wake him up again, you dont want him to sleep through his meals because then he is just going to need to be fed more. Hopefully this is just a phase he is working through. I see someone mentioned jsut putting him in the crib and when he wakes let him cry himself back to sleep, you could do that also, as long as he doesnt get persistently louder and more feirce then he will be okay to cry for 10 minutes to calm himself down, even though its hard babies have to learn to satisfy themselves.
Good luck and God bless you!!