in a fatal accident...and i have talked about it until i was blue in the face...and I found it just DEPRESSED me and made me cry to even talk about it...Later time healed...the problem is people...they will ask.."what happened in yourmarriage?".;.I will say he was in a fatal accident and i do NOT re-live it...the person ... will get hestrical and say "oh my God, How did it happen?....(this is the part i hate)......I. will say as i am walking away....."I do not relive that PAINFUL time"...THEY WILL TOTALLY IGNORE WHAT I HAD JUST SAID...what is a matter with those types...i say it nicely????..WELL, what happened?..i will say a, "I AGAIN I do not relive it...it was very painful"....they can see my face...why don't they leave me be???THEY ARE EXTREMELY NOSY AND INTRUSIVE I FEEL...and they can see i am walking away.....
2007-05-29 08:41:35 · 23 answers · asked by sweet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Try saying "He passed away a long time ago". No need to tell them any different. If they are RUDE enough to ask how, when, what.. they are not very sympathetic and just plain rude.
I say ignore the issue and change the subject.
2007-05-29 08:45:52 · answer #1 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this one isn't going to win me 10 points - but here goes...
People can be rude. That's true. They also love a good story.
But then, you don't have to whet their appetite for a good story by mentioning the "fatal accident" and "I do not relive it" parts - OOOO Drama! Now that's an advertisement for questions if I've ever heard one. And then refusing to talk about it after you've piqued their interest is a way of controlling the situation. After all, husband died suddenly - completely out of your control. So you're controlling the story of his passing by saying "he died in a fatal accident." Wow. Talk about a setup...
Just say "He passed away years ago. It was very sudden and I miss him very much. Please,let's talk about something else." Then change the subject.
Anyone who can't take that broad a hint deserves a sharply worded, "I said I don't care to talk about it. please change the subject." and if they persist in this - you can justifiably say "Very well." and leave their presence.
But again, don't bait curiosity with something dramatic - just "he passed away suddenly" is a fine and truthful answer.
2007-05-29 16:00:21 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If someones asks what happened say something horrible happened or tell them it was a tragedy and you prefer not to talk about it. The less information you give them the better. You should not even mention the word accident because then people get curious and wonder what kind of accident. Good Luck and I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure it's hard even though it happened long ago.
2007-05-29 15:49:33 · answer #3 · answered by jacky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These people are being crude, just by asking what happened in your marriage anyway! I think I would come up with an answer that will shut them up. While I am not making light of the situation, I think if it were me I would look them in the eye and say car crashed he died PERIOD. This should shut them up. Unrelated to your question, but example of how i handle nosy people......my son was clubfoot at birth and required surgery then both legs to be in casts for 6 weeks to his thighs when he was only five months......needless to say in those six weeks i refused to hide a perfectly healthy baby at home. I got tired of people always Oh how did he break his legs? I would tell them he tripped over his shoelace while running the last marathon, or for really rude looking ones I would tell them that's what happens when I've just had ENOUGH already!
2007-05-29 15:49:18 · answer #4 · answered by tryin4freedom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you might be wording your response wrong to get people to stop asking. In saying that you don' t want to re-live it and that it is painful to think about. Most people think that getting you to talk about it (which is what you don't want to do) will make you feel better and that they are helping you in someway to get you to talk about it.
Instead try saying "I don't want to talk about it." first time nicely the second time they come back at you put a little firmness in your voice to get the message across that you DO NOT want to talk about it. It is none of thier business what happened to your marriage or your huband or how it happened. It is your choice to share the details if and when YOU feel that it is time.
If you tell people that it is was an accident then that is your choice but people will want more detail if you do so. I went through a similar experience and you are right some people will not leave you alone until they have every detail that THEY feel THEY are entitled to know. I used to give the same responses that you did and got the same nosy questions. Then one day I put my foot down and just started saying that i didn't want to talk about it. Then I always got the follow up questions and I still held my ground and just kept repeating that sentance and putting a firmer and firmer tone to it and FINALLY they got the point and left me alone.
I did snap at one lady who would not leave me alone and finally said that if she couldn't talk to me about something else then just don't talk to me period. It got her attention and she finally got off of the subject.
Good luck
2007-05-29 15:59:34 · answer #5 · answered by hotelmajor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When they ask you "What happened to your marriage?", say only that he passed away, then change the subject quickly. If you say that it was an accident, a lot of the times people will wonder what the details are. If they still ask, I would just tell them that you don't prefer to talk about it. It is important to remember that sometimes people don't know what should or should not be said when hearing of someone else's tragedy. It is just as important for you to be understanding of reactions and questions, as it is for others to be understanding of your silence.
2007-05-29 15:53:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about you just say that it was a very difficult time in your life and you don't like to discuss it.
If it is painful for you to mention, you should never even say that a fatal accident was involved.
2007-05-29 15:46:55 · answer #7 · answered by mexifelio 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are naturally curious. All you need to say is "he passed away" or "I am widowed" and leave it at that. If they ask more questions, just say you prefer not to discuss it, it's in the past and don't say anything more about it.
Some will respect your feelings on the subject, others are nosy and will pry...just how some people are.
Sorry for your loss...I do hope your path has passed through sun shiny times since then.
2007-05-29 15:46:15 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say you are making the mistake, but you are by saying the words 'fatal accident.' It is an invitation for the hysteria on their part. You can say, I'm a widow and it was paiful and I don't care to discuss it." If they continue with "what happened". Pat them on the shoulder, say, "It was great chatting, I gotta run....." If they still persist.... say, "Why are you so curious?" and walk away.
2007-05-29 15:49:00 · answer #9 · answered by Cloee Quips 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not a question at all, more of a blog. I feel that people are curious by nature. If you try being more blunt and rude about it they will most likely get the picture faster. I find that being blunt with people can help tremendously. Since your being nice about it, they (subconsciously) mistake your kindness for weakness, and keep pushing you until they get the answers they want to satisfy there own curiosity.
2007-05-29 15:47:14 · answer #10 · answered by Leonidas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋