I recently found out that my boyfriend of two years was actually married and had another kid with his wife while we were together. This may sound stupid, but I really had no idea that he was married. They have another daughter who just turned six. When I found out he said that he loved me and that he would tell his wife it was over and that he would be with me. Its been a couple of months and he keeps saying that she's going to move out and he said that last week he talked to his daughter and told her the basic situation. So it seems as if he's moving things along, but I guess I don't know if I should continue to wait or just move on. Please no negative answers.
2007-05-29 08:31:27 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By no negative answers I just meant I didn't want to have people writing insulting things about me as a person for being in a situation like this. This was definately not anything that I ever wanted to have happen.
2007-05-29 09:09:36 · update #1
If he didn't tell you after 2 yrs of dating that he was married why would you think he'll leave his wife now? I'm skeptical and personally I wouldn't wait any longer. He could very well be telling you what he thinks you want to hear so that you'll stay. If you all started a relationship on a lie and built one on a lie how does your relationship become strong after such a weak foundation. I think you should cut your losses and go!
2007-05-29 08:37:41 · answer #1 · answered by tylremily 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry you found yourself in such a touch situation. I think alot of the answers in what we ask about is in the question. Your last sentence - "no negative answers, please". I wonder if you already know the answer. And that being - negative..... you have a lying, cheating boyfriend and he has been lying for two years to two women. If he is telling his six year old that he is cheating on her mother - well, he is even worse than a liar and a cheat.
I know that you love him, you have a history, you have based your life with him and it is soooo much easier to just stay in the situation than to get out. Sweetie, walk away - no, RUN away from a man like this. You deserve better and you have the right to better than this. It takes courage to make a move and major changes but it is the way that you will find peace and healing and real love.
Good luck to ya!
2007-05-29 15:39:37 · answer #2 · answered by MissHazel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would move on. If you see that he finally gets a divorce and is free to date again then you can think about it. Don't be the one everyone blames for ruining his marriage. Also just because he tells you these things does NOT mean its true. There are alot of men(not all) that take advantage of women and tell them what they want to hear. Also if he didn't tell you he was married and obviously sleeping with his wife if she got pregnant then why would he tell you the truth now. Move on and find someone who will be good to you with no baggage or at least has old baggage. I'm not sure if this is considered a negative answer or not but if you only want to hear what you want to hear and not the truth you should just write the answer to the question yourself. You know how you feel you probably just don't want to admit it to yourself because you invested your feelings. Move on while you still can. Good Luck
2007-05-29 16:05:57 · answer #3 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please move on! If he cheated on his wife with you, he'll cheat on you as well. He's just telling you the things that you need to hear to keep you around to boost his ego. He's torn but when it's all said and done he'll choose his family over you because they have a history together. The only way that you'll really have him to "yourself", is if she finds out about you (or any other woman he may have cheated with), and she leaves him or puts him out. It's obvious that they have been trying to work things out. Eventually she'll have to wake up too and move on. Nothing good will come out of this for you in the long run especially since the very foundation of your relationship is based on dishonesty.
Be a real woman and leave that man and his family alone! Why would you want to encourage a man to leave his wife and kids?
2007-05-29 15:48:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out right away. The sooner the better, because it will hurt more the longer you hold on. Men always say they will leave their wife, but they will not. Also, say he does actually leave his wife, if he cheated with you, what's to stop him from cheating on you. Better yet how do you even know now that you and his wife are the only ones in the picture, lets face it, if he was able to hide a wife and 2 children from you, what else could he be hiding? Honey, I know it is hard and my heart goes out to you, but you deserve a man that wants to marry YOU, not use you while his wife is waiting at home taking care of his children. Good luck, go and find you a man that will worship the ground you walk on.
2007-05-29 15:38:38 · answer #5 · answered by Tina W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheat always a cheat, and why did he not tell you before now that he was married. I know you don't want to hear this but if he REALLY wanted to leave his wife, he would of done it by now, but instead he stayed with his wife and had another kid. He may love you, but he loves his wife and his kids MORE. Move on and find someone that will be true to you, and make you happy.
2007-05-29 15:42:38 · answer #6 · answered by Susan R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are committing adultery. You should move on to some one who is not married. If you doubt that adultery is wrong, read Exodus Chapter 20 verse 14, Matthew Chapter 5, verse 27, Mark Chapter 10 verse 11, Luke Chapter 18 verse 20, John Chapter 8 verse 4 and 1 Cor Chapter 6 verse 9 in the Holy Bible. Get a New Living translation, it is written in plain modern English.
Another very good reason to move on is that he is a cheater with his wife,.What makes you think he will not cheat on you?
2007-05-29 15:41:34 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what you call a negative answer. I'm not going to insult you, but I may not tell you what you want to hear.
You need to stay out of it until the divorce papers have gone through. That's it.
Also, just keep in mind that if he lied to his wife, he could do the same thing to you with another girl when you have a relationship down the line.
2007-05-29 15:38:10 · answer #8 · answered by derek1079 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you and his wife should both dump him and leave the lying cheater on his butt. He isn't worth another thought. She is kind of a in a tough position since they have kids together, but you don't have anything tying you down. Get out while you can and move on. You deserve better than this.
Good luck to you!
2007-05-29 15:38:28 · answer #9 · answered by Melanie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He lied to you for two years and never told you he was married - you found out on your own, somehow. That means for 2 years he looked you in the face and was able to act like he was sincere, when, in reality, he wasn't.
Do you really think you can believe what he is saying to you now? I wouldn't. I think since the whole relationship was based on a lie that you should move on. Why? Because it didn't bother him to lie to you and he isn't sorry that he did - he's just sorry he finally got caught.
You deserve better than that.
2007-05-29 15:37:51 · answer #10 · answered by Stefka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋