About 5 to 6 months ago I was having an affair with this guy that I met that lives in my neighborhood. We had a sexual relationship that lasted for about 3 months and we only did it 3 times. I was with this guy because Ive only had one partner my whole life and I was curious to be with another man. Anyway, I ended the sexual relationship with this guy and we remained friends. Lately, i have been getting the urge to be with him again, but only in a sexual way. The sex at home is near to once a week or none and Im bored. I dont want to continue to cheat, but Im tempted to go and see this guy again.My husband has no clue that I have cheated. I know that I shouldnt continue to be friends with this guy, but he turns me on so badly.. what would you do? What should I do? Should I go see him again or just leave it alone..
2007-05-29 08:12:34 · 39 answers · asked by its not that serious 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just ftor the record.. 2 years ago.. my husband did cheat on me and I found out about it so I do know how it feels.. I didnt cheat to get back at him I did it because I was curious.. and I made a mistake..
2007-05-29 09:09:15 · update #1
I wouldnt go see him again if you want to keep your marriage because one of these times your either going to get caught, or something is going to happen to where you husband finds out.. Why dont you try seducing your husband more often, and get him to do more with you then you guys are doing right now. I have never met a guy who wasnt into having sex more then once in a while, and you obviously need it more then that so go for it, if hes too tired, or whatever his excuse is for not doing it more often dont let him make the excuse, tell him he can lay back, and relax while you do most of the work then you are completely in control, and get it how you want it, etc. Try just going for it more often with your husband, and if he still isnt into doing it as often as you feel the need to then talk to him about how you need more in the relationship, how you feel, etc.. you dont have to tell him you been having urges to wonder off with someone else, or anything like that just tell him you want to spice things up a bit, you need physical contact more then once a week, its just how you body is, and if he cant keep up then thats something he needs to work on.
2007-05-29 08:30:22 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you have already committed the crime which by the way does not make what you did OK. But have you tried to talk to your husband about your sex life. I think first I would try to talk it over with my husband and let him know that I want to hav3e sex more and that I want to try new things. I think that's what it is, it's the fact that you got something new and different so it excites you. I say leave it alone reevaluate what you want out of your marriage. You are still married and if you guys can't work it out then you should do whatever is best for you but as far as continuing to cheat I don't think that's a good idea you might as well get a divorce. Good Luck.
2007-05-29 08:21:44 · answer #2 · answered by KH 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to leave it alone. And let's be truthful you know you do. Ask yourself how would you feel if your husband did this to you? You say you are bored with the sex what are you doing to spice it up? In all fairness have you even spoke to your husband about your desires to want sex more or in different places. Don't put that on him. You need to walk away from this guy before you lose everything. You need to also decide what is it that is missing? You stepped out of this marriage why? Whatever you are looking for you need to find it before you break any more trust in this marriage. It is not fair to your husband. Remember what goes around comes around don't let it come back to you do the right thing. Leave him or stay and work on it.
2007-05-29 08:33:21 · answer #3 · answered by K M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi there,
I was married for 10 years, now divorced. Not for those reasons. Sex was good. There will always be temptation.If you are still in love with your husband and are still attracted to him, go to the next sexual level with him. Be curious, both of you. Go to an adult store check out some toys maybe videos and explore both of your sexual endeavors. Most important thing is be open with each other and have comunication. I tell you one thing cheating will bite you in the *** in the long run .It will catch up. I dont know if your religous either but theres that factor to. Oh and dont forget guilt!!!!!
2007-05-29 08:27:21 · answer #4 · answered by keri0827 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try to spice things up with sex with your husband...and masterbate often - may sound odd but it helps when you are going thru a particularly "horny" time in your life and you need to keep temptation at bay.
Almost all men would welcome a bit of change in the bedroom so perhaps he is as bored as you? Why not get crazy together? For all you know, he is having his own affair. I think you did the right thing by breaking it off and going back for more is just going to screw you up.
Put it behind you - never do it again....and jump your husband often.
2007-05-29 08:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well I'm sure you are bored and would love to try new things but you did take a vow with your husband.There have been a few times I have wanted to stray just because im bored in the bedroom but I have never done it. I think its because I could never trust the other person to keep it to themselves. I suppose if there was someone I knew that would NEVER tell I might but I cant trust it so I don't. If he ever finds out it will be over between you two. You have to really ask yourself.......Is this really want I want?
2007-05-29 08:31:35 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should leave the other guy alone and talk to your husband about your needs and how you feel. I don't know any man who wants to once in awhile. Let him know that things need to be tweaked a bit and that he may not even realize how you feel about the situation. But do not go back to the guy in the neighborhood, if you get caught, things will be worse than what they are now, you don't need that =)
2007-05-29 08:25:46 · answer #7 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-30 02:57:41 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T DO IT! I have done it as well and regret it, and you are damming your soul in the process. Make a decision to improve your marriage or get out of it (divorce) and date different men before you make the commitment again. There are some bell ringers out there and you can find someone with the all the qualities in a man that you desire. When the fire is just not there, there ain't nothing you can do to create it when your spouse just can't strike the match.
2007-05-29 08:37:34 · answer #9 · answered by cwilliamstop 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Myles,
Before you start looking around for a playmate, get rid of the one you have.
My take on your situation is that you are a spoiled person who is not able to consider your partner's feelings. Have you tried to talk with him about having sex more often and making it interesting by changing things up a bit? If you have, I apologize and still say, get a divorce before messing up a lot of other peoples lives.
Consideration of others is always important and making only ourselves happy isn't why we were put on this earth.
2007-05-29 08:26:52 · answer #10 · answered by Peanut 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋